The advent of hope
by Claire O'Mack
Summary: When Janeway and Paris both find themselves bored with their lives, one of them decides to do something about it and drag the other one along for the ride. post Endgame
1. Chapter 1

I know I have not written anything on here for ages, that is because my Voyager brain has been switched off, nothing has come to mind of what to write, but now I am back with some inspiration, I hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think. If it is rubbish let me know I am a big girl I can take it.

The advent of hope 

Sitting in the office again, she was always sitting in this damm office, staring at the same damm wall and drinking the same cup of damm coffee.

Resisting the urge to throw said coffee against said wall Kathryn sat back in her chair closed her eyes and held on to the cooling mug tighter. Willing the frustration inside her to level off, until she could become a normal human being again.

She had been on the edge for a while now, she was Starfleet's golden girl, she was the advertisement for everything that should be in a uniform, could do anything she wanted, any assignment, any career path she chose. Any that was accept her own ship, her own crew and to go out into space once more. No they wanted her here on Earth, her face in as many pictures and posters as they needed. Her occasional talks to the new cadets and appearances at certain functions were the only things really required of her now a days.

Kathryn Janeway was not the kind of person to just sit back on her lorrals though, ok she had gone to the other side of the galaxy and back, and had delivered a crushing blow to the Borg, but she was far from finished yet.

Running her hands down her face trying to wipe the frustration from her physically she turned her eyes back on to the picture that hung on her wall. It was a large framed photo of Voyager, she could even make out the small scars alone her hull from the battles her ship had been in over the years. The photo had been taken before they decommissioned her and dismantled her for parts. Kathryn had forth vehemently for her repair but it had been a battle she was not destined to win.

Most of the crew although sorry to see it happen had spread far and wide then, Chakotay and Seven had moved off world and were starting a family, Harry had been given a promotion and commission on a ship and had accepted. The doctor had been downloaded and transferred to his own office and B'lanna had been busy with Miral and her new job. The only one of her senior crew to have stood by her on this was the last person she expected it to be.

Tom Paris had come back from France, where he had relocated to help stop Voyager being taken to pieces. He had stood shoulder to shoulder with his former Captain in front of his father and begged the man to see sense.

Kathryn hand finally given up knowing the decision had already been made and there was nothing either of them could do about it. She had finally had to drag Tom out by his shirt collar and by him a beer at the local pub.

She had sat there with him in silence sipping the bitter liquid and locking her eyes on the table before his sigh caught her attention and broke the spell they had both been under.

"Why did you come?" Kathryn had asked and he seemed genuinely shocked by her question almost hurt, and it took Kathryn a second to realise why.

"I mean, no one else came, God, most of them barely replied to my subspace message." She said which seemed to appease Tom as he had gone to reach for her hand but stopped at the last moment.

"I guess that ship just meant more to me than you ever realised." He had told her, she had never gotten the opportunity to ask him what he meant. Shorty after Tom had finished talking he had received a subspace message from B'lanna that their daughter had been taken ill. He had rushed out of that bar with barely a glance back. At the time Kathryn had been more concerned for Miral than Tom's manners.

It had come as a surprise when he had contacted her a few days later to apologise for leaving her like he had, and that Miral was recovering in hospital after catching a pretty severe case of the Romulan flu.

That was however the last time she had herd from her former pilot, it had been nearly six months and she was still sat here at her desk drinking her coffee and staring at that picture with nothing important to do.

Slamming her hands down on the desk Kathryn stood up and pushed her chair under her desk, grabbing her jacket and pulling open her door she breezed passed her sectary without a word and walked out into the corridor. Stopping and turning her head left and right she couldn't decide where she wanted to go first. Now she had made her decision there was plenty of things to consider, but where to start could be the most important one. Finally turning on her heel Kathryn Janeway strode out of Starfleet head quarters and out into the sunshine of a early spring day. It was warm enough that she realised she no longer needed the jacket. Throwing it over her shoulder she paused for a stride, turning once more in a new direction Kathryn decided if she was going to do this then it would not be clad in the admiral pips she had been so proud of when she had first put them on.

Stepping on to the transport and calling out the location for her apartment she allowed a small smile to grace her lips before she dematerialized causing the cadet at the station to become slightly confused, not that she cared about that, she had a plan and was going to see it though no matter what.

Tom Paris sat on his veranda, he liked to do this every night before the sun set completely, dusk was his favourite park of the day, closely followed by dawn. He rolled the whiskey around in his glass as the ice clinked together and reminded him of time he had spent not so long ago with friends, probably the best friends he was ever likely to have.

Letting out a sigh Tom refused to dwell on the past on such a beautiful evening, the only thing that would have made it better was if Miral had been with him, but she was on the Dauntless with her mother. B'lanna had told him to come to be a pilot with her, but he had wanted to stay, to have a year on the ground to decide what he really wanted. What he didn't say was that he didn't want to fly anything but Voyager or for anyone but Captain Janeway. Now sat here almost two years after their return he was still no closer to deciding. He had lost Voyager and now his wife and daughter, yes they came back every time they were on Earth, Miral called every night and Tom had gotten himself a dream job. Dream that was because what he really wanted could only ever be a dream now, he had been recruited by a shuttle firm to test pilot all their latest offerings, he could work his own hours and put in as much or a little time as he wanted. He loved his job but he was stuck in a rut and he knew it, for a while now he had been thinking of going with B'lanna and his daughter the next time they came back, it might not only save his marriage which was dicey to say the least, but also provide him with the opportunity to be a proper father to Miral.

Polishing off his whiskey Tom reached down to the side of his chair and picked up the bottle. Poring himself a generous slug he took a deep breath then a small sip.

He had realised long ago that he had lost his passion, where Harry had gained in it finding himself happiness and purpose Tom had allowed himself to wither away and dwell on the past, and that was not the Tom Paris he was, so when he had gotten Janeway's message about Voyager being dismantled he had rushed over there like a bull in a china shop. He had allowed all that pent up anger at himself come out choosing to use Voyager once again as his passion and drive.

He had realised soon enough that it was not just Voyager that had sparked passion in him and sitting across the bar from her Tom had wanted to say so many things, he had wanted to ask how she was, tell her how good she looked and that he had been keeping up with her progress via the news. None of it had come out however and when he had finally said something of consequence he had gotten the call about Miral being taken ill.

He had felt guilty afterwards and had forced himself to call her to face any anger but there had been none, just concern and what Tom thought was vague regret. After that he had decided to go with B'lanna and take care of Miral on board the Dauntless, it had cause no end of arguments, he had hated being in space again, unable to do anything but wonder the corridors and wait for his wife to came home at night. He had finally managed to let B'lanna take Miral back to France with him, they had a wonderful time together but his young daughter wanted to go back after a few weeks and B'lanna wanted her to come back. This had quickly returned to normal, sub space messages, polite visits from B'lanna, and exited ones from Miral, but they always ended up back on Dauntless, and he ended up back on this Veranda.

Watching as the last rays of sun sank beyond the horizon Tom emptied his glass and stood up. Picking up the whiskey bottle he pulled back the glass door that separated the house from the Veranda and walked back into the now darkened room, managing to avoid banging his toe on the low coffee table. Something which he had learnt to the cost of his toes over the years, turning around he placed the whiskey on the shelf moved his cup into his now free left hand and slid the glass door shut with his right. Moving through into the kitchen tom flicked on the light switch and went to the recycler and placed his glass inside it and pushed the button so it vanished.

Tom looked around his kitchen, he had just had it redone so that it looked more like a traditional kitchen. A real working sink sat under the small double window, beside it was a beautiful ornate cupboard where he kept his pans for cooking on. And finally he had a working stove and oven installed. He had found that cooking, really cooking food in the evenings was something he really enjoyed, that did not mean however he was going to give up the ease of the replicator, or the suppleness of a sonic shower for that matter.

Flicking off the light Tom turned and headed for the sonic shower, throwing his jumper off in the process he aimed for the love seat but managed to find the floor instead he just shrugged his shoulders, intending to pick the item up when he had finished his shower Tom moved off down the hallway through the darken house, not needing the light to see his way around and not wanting it either.

Just as Tom pushed open the door to the bathroom there was a chime from the front door and he stopped in his tracks.

"It was rear anyone called on him so late, when it happened it was never good, it was either a neighbour in need of his help, which meant he would be on his hands an knees fixing something or it was a work mate wondering if he fancied a drink, which he invariably didn't but often agreed to go because he didn't want to be rude.

Walking with a heavy stride Tom pulled open the door and almost closed it again, he rubbed his eyes wondering if he had fallen asleep and had yet to realise it that was until she spoke.

"Sorry to turn up like this Mr Paris, but could I come in, I have a proposition for you?"

Kathryn had threw on some clean civilian clothes and packed some more in an overnight bag. She knew that she would be staying for at least one night as she knew her former pilot would want to at least here what she had to say even if he said no she knew that he would extend her that courtesy at least.

Kathryn had done a little research before she had left, her sudden impulse to rush to Tom and spring all these plans on his tempered by her stop to change clothes. She was not impetuous by nature, she had just been denied excitement too long, now the thrill was back it was like a drug for her, but she hand managed to contain it just long enough to draw up a better plan and find out a bit about her former pilots life.

She had contacted B'lanna asking about Miral, and finally Tom, leaning from the engineers face much more than her words. Kathryn decided right then that Tom Paris's life was probably not as full as he would like it to be. Encourage and saddened by this Kathryn had hopped on the transport and winged her way to France.

Questioning her decision all the way Kathryn had finally stopped off just outside his large apartment and had paused at the bottom of the stairway to his front door. Thinking back to just that morning sat in her office staring at that picture of a ship that would never see space again had gotten her moving. She had decided in that moment only a few hours ago now that even though her ship was lying in bits on some workshop floor she was not. That even though most of her crew although loyal had their own lives their own ambitions to pursue, she had allowed herself to become a puppet and that was not her.

She knew what Tom had meant finally in that moment as well about Voyager meaning more to them than to the rest of the crew. It had been her ship, but it had been his home, he had been set free there and given his second chance, a purpose and a family, now they were back he had lost those and once again Kathryn wanted to be the one to save him.

She had knocked on the door and it had taken him a while to answer, she was about to give up thinking he was out as the house was dark when the door had opened and there stood a bare chested Lieutenant looking back at her rubbing his eyes in total surprise.

Kathryn had decided to delve right into it, asking to come in and brushing past him as though he wasn't half naked and this wasn't late or unusual. Tom stood there for a second before he closed the door and followed her as she walked a short way down the hall when she realised she had no idea where she was going and that it was pretty dark inside the apartment.

"Umm please Admiral this way." Tom said unable to call her anything but her rank even in his own home and it earned him a raised eyebrow and a quirk of the lips.

"Tom even if I were on duty and you were fully dressed you can still call me Kathryn." She smiled as she followed him though the house as Tom turned on the lights as he went, finally leading her into the sitting room which looked out on to the veranda.

"You have a beautiful place." Kathryn offered as she went and admired the view from the floor to ceiling glass doors.

"Thanks, can I get you something to drink?" Tom asked not knowing what else to say, she had shocked him into submission and not for the first time, he was going to need to compose himself if he was going to deal with Kathryn Janeway and the first thing would be to put his jumper back on.

Snatching the item of clothing off the floor Tom pulled it over his head as Kathryn turned away from the view and acknowledged his question of a drink. He saw her glance at the whiskey bottle and he shrugged his shoulders.

"If you want one I'm game, but it tastes so much better out there." Tom said following her gaze and picking up the bottle. Kathryn turned her mouth up in a half smile and allowed him to open the door for her.

"This is lovely." Kathryn said stepping out, it was chilly now the sun had gone down, but there was no breeze and the external light created a artificial heat that the whiskey would only add to.

"I know it's the reason I brought this place, oh hold on." Tom said stepping back inside and moving through to the kitchen opening a cupboard above the sink he took down two fresh tumblers and went to the replicator and asked for some ice.

Joining Kathryn back out on the veranda Tom offered her the glass and then the ice, she took both. Then sat down on one of the chairs and Tom copied her position.

Taking the bottle and poring Kathryn a healthy slug Tom then topped himself up and turned to his former Captain now admiral. The light caught her still auburn hair and placed her face in half shadows which seemed to extenuate her already distinctive features. Her eyes were hidden in half shadow but still sparkled with life as she raised her glass.

"A toast Mr Paris, to the good old days." She said and Tom knew that whatever it was she had come to offer him it was bound to turn his life on its head.

Hope that was ok I have never done a post Endgame fic before so I thought I would give it a crack, as ever feed back is much appreciated I would love to know what you think. I will try and update as quickly as possible I hope I can bring some more drama and adventure into your lives. Thanks for reading XxX


	2. Chapter 2

As ever thank you for reading I hope you enjoy this chapter. It has been pointed out to me that I have several spelling and grammatical errors. I do apologise and I will try my best to correct what I can, however I do not have my own computer. (I know I live in the dark ages) I have to borrow one write then post this is why a few errors get through, I will try and be more critical and try to read through what I have written, please try and forgive my wandering fingers.

Kathryn faced the street, now that she was here with him, sat on his veranda, sipping his whiskey and taking up space and time in his home she was not feeling quite as confident as she had done this morning.

Tom was looking at her waiting for her to speak, she could see him string at her from over the top of his whiskey glass and for the moment she just needed to sit there and work out exactly what she was going to say.

"You know I haven't seen much of the others since we got back." Tom finally broke the silence, it was as though he could tell she wasn't ready to tell him about what she had come for, and he filled in the silence before it became to encompassing.

"Me neither, not that I have had much time of course, but the odd subspace message and occasional drink, does seem to pale in comparison compared to seven years trapped together." She replied taking a sip of her drink and feeling it burn all the way down to her stomach.

"Indeed, I guess I could have made more of an effort, but I didn't want to feel like I was intruding, Harry seemed so happy, so full of life." Tom said and this time Kathryn did tuned and look at him, the inflection in his voice giving her the idea he was about to cry when he plastered a smile on his face.

"He didn't need old Tom Paris holding his hand any more, and you know what I was pleased for him, I didn't need to worry about how he would be anymore, I could finally find myself a new sidekick for Captain Proton." He said his smile lifting slightly as he saw the joke finally twitch at Janeway's mouth before it fell off once more and was replaced with a soft knowing look.

"I will never stop worrying about any of you, I think what makes it hard though is that I can no longer do anything to make that worry disappear, you are no longer under my command, I don't have a say in your day to day lives, you are all independent people who no longer need me." She started but Tom opened his mouth to interject she lent in closer and held her hand up.

"Let me finish Tom. You may not need me or my help, but right now I could do with yours." Tom heard a truthfulness in her vice which he had not heard in years. The last time she had said something that she sounded that certain about, was over nine years ago on the bridge of their shiny new stranded ship. She told them they would get home, he had believed her then and he believed her now.

"You know I would do anything for you Admiral, I own you not just my freedom, but my life." Tom replied still unable to use her first name even though they were sitting mere inches apart in half darkness, liquor in their hands as she offered him a rye smile, but said nothing of the use of her rank.

"Good because I think it's high time you and I got our backsides back into space and did something a little more important than testing shuttles and pushing a pen around a desk." This time her smile was large and Tom knew that once she had settled upon an idea Kathryn Janeway was as tenacious as a dog with a bone.

"You have a ship?" He asked hoping that she had managed to pull some strings and get something that vaguely resembled Voyager.

"Not quite." She replied looking a little sheepish for the first time Tom had ever seen. It was an emotion that did not suit her and Tom took in a deep breath.

"I take it Starfleet don't want their special Admiral going off world too much, I mean you might not come back." His voice was light, but the words were true and Kathryn's face fell to that of a half scowl.

"I came back from half way across the galaxy didn't I? I don't see why they can't give me my own command once more." Kathryn felt frustrated, even Tom could see why Starfleet had refused to give her a ship, and he hated Starfleet and their rules, why did everyone suddenly think she was incapable of doing this.

Tom could see the change in her mood and he quickly shifted gears, he did not want to fight with her, and he certainly didn't want to make her angry.

"I don't agree with them you know, if they let you take another command again they would see that for themselves." Tom said as Kathryn finished off her whiskey, swallowing it like it had lost its burn a while ago even though this was her first drink.

"Good I thought you might see it that way, because you are going to help me get that ship, Commander Paris, then you are going to come with me and show them exactly what we can do." Her face was covered in a grin that told Tom that saying no to this offer was just not going to be an option. Not that he had ever refused to do anything for her, nor would he for what he imagined would be the rest of his life. Tom just didn't know how exactly he could help.

"I would love to come with you Admiral, Kathryn but I gave up my commission a year ago, there was nothing for me in Starfleet anymore and I doubt I still have any influence there." He said quickly reminding himself to call her Kathryn at her slight frown at the sue of her rank once more.

"Oh contraire Tom, you still have a high ranking relative in Starfleet who's one wish for his son, is to come back into the fold." Kathryn replied as she looked in to his eyes and knew that she was asking something of him that she had no right to. For some reason age and time had allowed her to cross certain lines that as a Captain she would not have crossed, now this included emotional blackmail and she found that she felt no guilt.

"I'm not sure I haven't burnt that bridge." Tom said trying to avoid her eyes knowing that if he saw the pleading look she was directing at him once more he would hop on a transport right this minute and go and demand a ship from his father.

"He loves you Tom, always has, he was just no good at expressing it to you directly, I know how that feels believe me." Kathryn intoned as she finished her drink and Tom offered her a top up which she took willingly. It was good whiskey and it was a perfect evening and perfect company to go along with the burning liquor.

It had not been spoken about before between them, how their pasts were very similar, how they were brought up to be good Starfleet brats, except Tom decided to rebel against tradition, while Kathryn pressed on hoping to one day please a father beyond pleasing. Now sitting here the things they shared in common seemed more obvious some how. Perhaps it was that they came from the same place, and now had ended up coming full circle.

"Tom can I be honest with you?" Kathryn spoke suddenly breaking the silence after her admittance about her feelings towards their fathers, and it made Tom jump somewhat as he had been lost in thought.

"Of course you can." He said without hesitation as he turned towards her slightly, knowing he would probably regret this action later as she locked eyes with his.

"Are you happy Tom, because I sure as hell am not." She said not breaking the eye contact as Tom fought the urge just to lie and tell her everything was fine.

Deciding that he had been doing that for two years now, and she had come a long way for him to spin her the party line he took a deep breath.

"I have been happier, in fact to tell you the truth, I was happier 70,000 light years away." Tom finally admitted it and he did feel better, he realised it was easy because from the moment Kathryn Janeway had walked back into his life, he knew she had been happier out there to.

"I guess it took seven years for me to realise that I was happy right where I was, that doesn't include the Borg by the way." Kathryn replied feeling the moment needed a little humour. She did not want to come here and upset him, not her intentions were in fact the complete opposite.

"No, or the Kazon, I could have done without them as well." Tom said now returning her smile as they thought back briefly on their long journey. Tom sat forward now and perched on the end of his chair, he was so close to her now that he could smell the sent of her shampoo and it brought back memories of her standing behind him on the bridge filling his senses with her sweet smell, shaking his head slightly to clear that particular memory he sighed.

"Ok so what did you have in mind?"

A corner of Kathryn's mouth turned up and she copied his position as though they were having to whisper their conversation, just in case some Romulan spy was listening in.

"To start with you are going to ask for your commission back, you only spent two months as a Commander before you pulled out and I think it is time to give the rank a chance." She started talking and Tom could only sit there and listen, so far it seemed pretty simple, they hadn't wanted to let him go in the first place, and Tom was sure his father would pretty much slap the pips back on his collar himself.

"Then I am going to get myself assigned to a ship which you will be commanding, some diplomatic transport, or science vessel, even if I have to join you by taking leave, I will get there." Kathryn continued a whist full look on her face as she imagined her plan. Tom had to admit he was getting sucked in, but he could see one problem.

"Kathryn, how am I going to get command of a ship, isn't that usually reserved for those with Captain before their name?" He questioned and Kathryn looked fully at him once more with a slow blink, she shook her head.

"Not if the ship is new and not commissioned, they usually assign a test crew give her a spin then decided if they like it or not." She said and Tom felt like there was more to come but he didn't push her.

"I happen to know of such a ship, one that is just coming out of dry dock, and she is basically the upgrade of Voyager." The smile on Kathryn's face was contagious, Tom felt his mouth lift uncontrollably at just how devious this woman could be, it was a quality which when used to full effect, was actually pretty scary.

"So how do I get to take out this new ship Admiral, I am sure you have a plan, you seem to have thought of everything else." Tom said a playfulness in his voice which kept the smile firmly fixed on her face as she nodded her head slightly.

"You are going to put yourself forward for the assignment, I am sure with my backing you will get the job." This time she paused and finished off her whiskey, Tom watched her throat as she swallowed the drink, he briefly wondered just how long she had been thinking about this.

"Ok so say this all happens, I get this new ship, you get to come with me? Then what we travel around for a bit until you are needed back here and the ship gets assigned its proper crew. It does sound wonderful, to finally be out there again, but this seems so short term." Tom said as Kathryn reclined against the chair and closed her eyes. Having finally got her plan out, and seen the glimmer of excitement on his face she suddenly felt bone tired. Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly she turned her head slowly towards him.

"Once we have the ship Tom, they are going to have a pretty hard time getting me to give it up." She said cryptically, turning her head back up to look out at the stars which lay just beyond the overhang of the veranda. Tom followed her eye line and decided that it was high time he got back out there, and this plan however unorthodox it was, seemed to be his best option right now for getting there. Not to mention of course that she would be going with him. Tom was surprised at just how much that particular facet made him happy as he finally rose of his chair and looked down at her.

"Its getting late I have a spare room if you wanted to stay, its no trouble." He asked as she cracked one eye opened and added her famous half smile.

"Thought you would never ask."

A week had passed since Kathryn's visit to Tom's apartment, they had kept in contact, talking most evenings until the wee hours, mostly about what they had been up to and what they were planning to do once, if they got hold of this new ship. One night Tom had asked the question about the rest of Voyager's crew. It was the one time Kathryn actually seemed to avoid his question looking somewhat nervous over the comm. Line and Tom understood her reaction.

"I think they are happy enough, this will be for those of us which didn't manage to be so fortunate." She had said and then the matter had been dropped.

Now it was time for Tom come to headquarters, he had been in touch with his father, laying the ground roots for getting his commission back, he was not surprised when he met with little resistance.

His father had looked at him over the comm. Line like he had done the first time he saw them come through that transwarp hub, he was happy and that in turn made Tom happy.

"You know you only had to ask son." His father had said when Tom requested to see him about coming back to Starfleet and said that he could come whenever he was ready.

Today was that day, Kathryn was due to meet him at the transport at eleven, he had been running late, not knowing what to pack, as he had no idea what was going to happen once he had been re-commissioned. Would he get a house, would his assignment start straight away, or would he be coming back here to France Tonight? Stepping off the pad he couldn't help but smile at the familiar flash of auburn hair pushing its way through the crowd that had come to greet the new arrivals. Within a matter of moments Kathryn was standing in front of him smiling in the bright sunshine as he stepped down on to the street and joined her. There was an awkward moment when he was unsure how to greet her, the small suitcase in his hand preventing him from giving her a proper hug, but he wondered if that was even appropriate right now.

"Hi Tom, come on your father and Admiral Nachev are waiting for us." She said looping her arm through his free one, solving the problem of how to greet each other by just ploughing right on with business. Tom smiled to himself, it was such a Janeway thing to do.

Kathryn pulled Tom along with her, she was so pleased to see him here, and she had been thinking all week he was going to change his mind, see sense and back out of what they had arranged.

She was so sure that he was going to do just that, that when he had been standing on the transport platform looking back at her, still she couldn't believe he was here. Taking his arm she practically dragged him along with her until they were inside Starfleet headquarters.

Jumping on the lift Kathryn called out for the Admirals floor and looked at Tom's face. In that moment he seemed so young again, the lines over the past nine years that had acuminated on his face seemed to vanish and he was once again the young man she had got out of prison in Auckland.

"I guess you haven't been here in a while?" Kathryn asked trying to fill the space with something other that her wondering memories as the doors to the turbo lift opened and Tom stepped out.

"No not since the whole crew was here for our return celebration." He replied looking down at her and noticing the slightly nervous way her eyes flicked from him to the floor, then back up again.

"You can drop your things in my office before we go meet the brass." She said quickly pulling herself together and showing him the way to her office.

Tom entered her space and looked around with wonder, it was pretty much a bog standard Admirals office. Desk against the far wall, big glass windows over looking the park below and grey walls. However the room had a distinct familiarity about it. Tom worked out what it was quickly after he placed his suitcase down next to her sofa. He spotted the picture of Voyager first and went over and examined it closer, giving Kathryn an approving smile on his way. Then he saw the half drank cup of coffee sat on her desk, not on the coaster, and then the vase of pink roses that occupied the far corner of the desk, obviously having been fresh this morning.

"So you, Admiral." Tom smiled at her and she returned it seeming to finally relax as she showed him back out of her office and they headed off towards his fathers office.

Kathryn stood shoulder to shoulder with Tom through the whole procedure, she was proud that he was back, that she had given him the chance to do something more with his life, but she was also feeling the pressure to. She had offered him something that she could not guarantee, there were a lot of ifs in her plans and the last thing she wanted to do was let him down.

While Tom was congratulated by Nachev and patted by his father Kathryn pulled out the Padd she had been clinging on to since late last night. She had formulated the proposal days ago but she had not yet showed it to the people that mattered. She was worried that her plan for her former pilots' carrier would be rejected and they would once again be back at square one.

"Sir I have worked out a plan for Mr Paris here, with your approval sir I would like to go ahead and get him started within the week." Kathryn said in her best Admiral's voice as Owen Paris turned to her and took the Padd from her out stretched hand. Kathryn and Tom exchanged a nervous glance while Tom's father decided the out come of their future.

That's all for now, hope I cut down on the mistakes somewhat, as ever please let me know what you think, and thank you so much for your reviews so far, everyone is appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for your continued support for this little fic I will do my best to keep updating and proving you with more.

Enjoy

The waiting was awful, Kathryn felt like a child standing in the office waiting for Owen Paris to read through her proposal, she picked at her fingernail just for something to do, and kept glancing at the man in front of her. His eyes were still skimming the pages of words in front of him and he seemed to be purposefully taking forever about it to.

Tom could feel the tension rise in the room, most of it was coming from the petite woman standing next to him, she was fidgeting with her hands and she kept letting out slow deep breaths. It was strange behaviour coming from his normally unflappable companion. Tom was realising just how much this meant to her, how much she wanted to get out of whatever it was she had been doing for the past two years. He took a look down at her while the silence stretched on in the room.

She didn't once look at him, her eyes were moving from his father to her hands and back again. What Tom could tell from his side on view was that she was getting frustrated. Patience had not ever been one of Janeway's strong points but she usually hid that fact well, having dealt and negotiated with many new species over their time in the delta quadrant. Now it seemed her patience had worn thin, cracks were starting to appear in her normal flawless command mask and Tom wondered what had happen to her over the last two years to have caused this.

Almost having to bite on her lip Kathryn took another deep breath in, she knew Tom was watching her but right now she didn't need to feel his anguish as well as her own. Right now it was taking all her control now to just scream at the older Paris just to hurry the hell up.

To her eternal relief admiral Paris finally lowered the Padd and looked at the two people stood in front of him.

"It is a good proposal and under normal circumstances I would have approved it, but you see the Carpathian already has a crew, we assigned them three days ago and she is all ready for launch."

At his words Kathryn's heart sank into her boots, she had failed, not only herself but also the man standing next to her. She had convinced him to come back, promised him as ship and companionship and now that was being snatched away. Unable to stand in that office any longer Kathryn nodded her head curtly at Owen Paris turned on her heel and walked out.

Making sure she kept to a walk until she was out of site Kathryn broke into a jog willing herself not to break into an all out run for fear someone might see her and ask her why she was in such a hurry.

Finally reaching her office she strode passed her sectary and straight into her office, she was normally polite to the young woman who basically ran her life but now the tears were dangerously close to falling and Kathryn Janeway did not doing crying in public.

Tom Paris had no choice but to stay, admiral Nachev congratulated him once more then made her exit as well. Tom turned to face his father, he desperately wanted to go after Janeway and tell her it was all going to be ok, that they would figure something out, but it was obvious that his father had other plans for him.

If Owen Paris had noticed Kathryn's distress and hasty exit he did not show it, he came forward and looked at his son with an approving eye.

"So glad you decided to come back son, I suppose I have Kathryn to thank for this." He said giving his son a warm smile, something Tom had rarely seen from his father, the look somehow looked out of place on him though.

"I guess so, but you know I wouldn't have come back if I didn't want to, she just gave me a shove in the right direction." Tom replied as Owen Paris reached behind him and picked a Padd up from the desk.

"I have your assignment, now I know it wasn't what you had in mind but give it a chance." Owen said as Tom took the Padd from his father's hand. His first inclination was to thank him and then go and find Kathryn, he could read this later.

"Well read it let me know what you think." His father said before Tom could make a move to leave.

Skimming the content he tried to not let his emotion show on his face, it was a good assignment, first officer of the USS Renascence, a six month tour of duty mainly focused on patrolling the Romulan border and information collecting. At any other point over the last two years Tom would have probably accepted this assignment without hesitation but now, now all he could think about was leaving Kathryn behind, when he had her to thank once again for making him take control of his life once more.

"This is a great assignment dad, can I think about it?" He finally replied, it was obvious that Admiral Paris was not pleased with his son's answer but he had no choice but to accept his answer.

"Of course, but don't take too long Tom." The older man said as Tom gave him a small smile and a nod. Receiving a smile in replied was all the invitation Tom needed to take his leave.

Walking out of the office Tom did not know where Kathryn had gone, his only logical choice would be to try her office. At the very least his belongings were there and he had to pick them up.

Walking into the outer room Tom acknowledged Janeway's sectary, he smiled at the young woman who smiled back in return. She was obviously an Ensign on her first posting as she blushed when he smiled at her and she looked away from him almost immediately, with a "Hello Commander." Her only words.

Tom walked over to the small but tidy desk and placed his palms on its shiny surface, getting the woman's attention he sort her eyes before he spoke.

"Have you seen the Admiral, I kind of have my entire wardrobe in her office and I was hoping not to have to sleep in my uniform tonight." Tom said keeping the smile on his face as her cheeks grew in colour as he spoke.

"Yes sir she is currently in her office." She replied in a small yet sure voice and Tom thanked her and turned away.

"You know her bark is far worse than her bite." Tom added before pushing the door open and stepping across the threshold.

Kathryn had been waiting for him to come, she felt awful leaving him there with his father, but at that moment in time if she had stayed she would have done something she regretted.

Not turning to look at him now but keeping her eyes fixed on the view of San Francisco she removed her hands from around her body to her hips. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was and that he was watching her.

She knew those foot steps anywhere; also she had heard his talking to his sectary faintly through the door only moments ago.

The other thing that gave him away was his silence, anyone else would have asked her how she was, if they could get her anything, Tom Paris knew her better, he was behind her now saying nothing and watching her waiting she assumed for her to begin talking.

The problem was she did not know where to start, she had not thought this far ahead, she had no where to go from here except back to where she had been a week ago. Sitting in this office staring at what might have been.

"They gave me an assignment." Tom finally broke the silence and Kathryn tensed her shoulders. She knew that was what he had been doing while she had allowed the tears to slip down her face unseen by the rest of the world. Still not turning to face him she had to ask, "What is it?" She heard him move closer, she knew if she turned around now she would see him right behind her, gazing in the same direction she was, looking but seeing nothing while the silence in the room dragged on.

"OX of the Renascence." Tom replied as he clasped his hands behind his back and stood slightly behind her off her left shoulder. A position he was long ago familiar with.

"That's a good assignment Tom you should take it." Kathryn said genuine happiness in her voice this time and Tom took a chance and looked down at her. She was looking at him this time, her eyes turned up to his, he could tell she had been crying, only because he knew her so well. There was no obvious redness around her eyes, or any tell tale wets streaks on her cheeks, but the slight puffiness of her lids, and the sadness in their depths told him all he needed to know.

"I don't want to take it." He said keeping her gaze as it turned from impassive to a full on Janeway glare.

"What do you mean not going to take it, I doubt you will get anything better." She said not wanting to sound cruel but her current mood was not helping her rein in her anger.

"I know, but I am not going to take this and leave you behind." He said taking hold of her shoulders in both his hands and forcing her to look at him.

"You told me that you were not happy with your life Kathryn, there is no way I am going to let you come in to my life, kick me up the arse to do something about it and then leave you to suffer alone." He said as Kathryn felt the urge to pull away from him and pull her to him all at the same moment.

This man before her was not the same person she had taken out of prison, nor was he the same man that had gotten off of Voyager at Jupiter station on their triumphant return to earth. The two years fatherhood and life had changed him in ways that Kathryn was still unsure were for the better. In this moment he seemed more tainted somehow, like life had really beaten the hell out of him and this time he had not bothered hitting back.

"Tom, I brought you back because I thought we could both help each other, if I managed to help only you that is enough for me, there will be other opportunities." She said deciding to stay right where she was and neither move away nor towards him.

"Like I said I am not leaving you behind, we will think of something else, there is more than one way to skin a cat." He said causing Kathryn to send him a confused frown at the turn of phrase he used.

"It's a, you know what never mind, what do you say to a spot of lunch?" He said, changing the subject abruptly which Kathryn was not about to object to.

Nodding her head curtly at him she turned away from the window fully now, catching sight of the picture of Voyager as she walked the length of her office she closed her eyes for a second and took in a deep breath. The past was the past, trying to recapture that was not something she was going to accomplish, now she had to look to the future, and if that meant convincing Tom to take this commission then that was what she was going to do.

Tom had avoided the topic of work completely sidestepping every question Kathryn had asked him about what he was going to do. He threw her by asking about her family, then moving on to the latest reports on the recovery from the war and then finally on to Harry, who had contacted him last night to congratulate him on getting his commission back.

"You know he is in town next week we will have to have a get together." Tom said wiping tomato soup off his mouth as he reached for his glass of water.

"It would be lovely to see him again." Kathryn agreed as she pushed her own soup away having only eaten half but choosing to ignore Tom's frown as sit was her turn to change the subject.

"Tom when was the last time you saw B'lanna?" She asked knowing that was another subject Tom Paris was not inclined to bring up himself. She watched his face for a reaction and to his credit he didn't give her much.

"About two weeks ago, the Dauntless stopped over for two nights for repairs, they came under some fire getting too close to Romulan territory last time. B'lanna said it was nothing but a slap on the wrist, didn't stop me from worrying though."

Kathryn was almost shocked by his honesty, she had expected him to be vague, or clipped with his answer, but he was neither, choosing to answer her question straight with no hesitancy. Kathryn envied him this, his ability to be honest even through adversity, even when faced with something he did not want to talk about Tom Paris still looked her dead in the eyes and told her the truth.

"I hate my job Tom." Kathryn said knowing it was time, perhaps the only time for her to take a leaf out of his book. Right here outside this small café, which was sparse of customers given the hour, too late for lunch too early for dinner, looking over the clean if not overly fine table cloth, amongst the dirty plates and half filled glasses, the bright sunshine causing Tom's hair to almost glow white Kathryn felt like she had to tell him, had to tell someone that everything she had always dreamed off was not what she wanted at all any more.

"I know." Was all he said pushing his own bowel of soup away and leaning back on the chair. Tom regarded her with a critical eye. It was not something he ever allowed himself to do, it was not something she ever gave him cause to do, well maybe once but he had chosen to put that incident back to the farthest reaches of his memory and leave it there. Now he was looking at Kathryn as the woman who sat before him now, not the Captain he had once known.

Tome had been good to her, she still looked pretty much the same as she had done a couple of years ago, maybe he could see the odd grey hair, but only if he looked hard enough. The lines on her face were more pronounced, but only around her forehead where she had probably been doing far to much frowning. Her eyes still were that slightly off blue which changed colour with her mood, they still held an intelligence in them which he both admired and feared at the same time.

The difference he really saw was her posture, no longer did she sit upright, her head carried defiantly on her slender neck. Her back straight and her legs crossed in a poise which shouted authority. Now she was slightly hunched over at the shoulders, her head bowed slightly downwards staring at hands clenched in front of her. When she looked up and met his eyes she noticed his blatant staring.

"Do I have something on my face Commander." She asked her posture straightening slightly as her gaze hardened. Tom couldn't hold back a smile, Kathryn Janeway was still in there, she had just lost herself for a while.

Tom stood up abruptly and offered Kathryn his hand, she took it with a puzzled look as she pushed her chair away and stood up.

"Come on I think I need to go and find out where I am going to be living, the we need to have a house warming party." This brought a smile to Kathryn's face as she fell into step beside him as they headed back towards headquarters.

As it turned out, Starfleet did not have anything available for three days, Tom was going to have to make a choice. He could either go back to France and commute in to do the paperwork needed to get him fully back on the command track, or he could find a place in the city for a few days to stay.

The decision he found had been made for him as Kathryn walked back into her office after talking with Starfleet command about her up and coming schedule, leaving him alone in her office to basically sit and wait.

"You can stay with me, my apartment is large for one and I have a spare room, no need to wait all your transport credits, not to mention time commuting back and forth." She said placing a stack of Padd's on her desk and basically ignoring them in favour of coffee.

Tom knew this tone of voice it was the once she used when the only cause of action was to do exactly what she said. Not that Tom had a problem with staying with her, it would give him the opportunity to keep an eye on her while he was here, and to start checking around about an idea he was starting to form.

"Ok sounds like a plan, when do you want me to move in." He said as she walked back over to him, placing her full coffee mug on her desk, not on the coaster, and gave him a broad grin.

"Right now."

Hope that was ok, all feed back is much appreciated, I hope the slight twist of their plan failing at the first hurdle was interesting, I love doing twist in the tale stories and I hope I can provide another one in this story too. Thank you for reading XxX


	4. Chapter 4

I have not forgotten about this story, I promise I have just been very busy but I hope I can do more this week. Thank for all the reviews and encouragement I will do my best to keep you in updates.

Tom thought he would feel awkward walking into her personal space, even on Voyager he had rarely been inside her quarters, in fact he could count the amount of times he had on one hand, and socially on one finger.

His feelings did not let him down, as he walked into her spacious apartment his heart began to flutter in his chest, he felt like he wanted to pant and take long slow breath's at the same time as his eyes darted from side to side, trying to sum up the house as just a living space, and not think of it as some where she walked around in only wearing a bath robe and a pair of slippers.

Tom was fairly certain Kathryn had not felt like this when she had turned up on his door step last week, and he was damm sure she had not started having heart palpitations at the thought of sleeping in his spear room.

Finally straightening his shoulders and walking to the big bay windows at the end of the living room Tom decided that he was here at her request, he hadn't just shown up, she had invited him and there for probably wanted him there.

"Coffee?" Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts and made him visibly jump, mush to the amusement which was evident on Kathryn's face as he turned around to meet her gaze.

"Umm sure, sounds great." He said his voice breaking slightly which he cleared with a small cough, and Tom once again berated himself as he was sure his cheeks had turned a lovely shade of pink.

He watched as Kathryn disappeared into a room off to the left which he decided much be the kitchen. Glancing behind him at the ever darkening San Francisco sky line Tom finally shook his head and walked forward following Kathryn's path into what turned out to indeed be her kitchen.

It wasn't as spacious as his, nor did it have the little old world details, or an oven, but the high central breakfast bar done out in light oak pleased Tom. The high ornate stools that surrounded it matched the table which in turn complemented the ash framed units where she kept all her cups and plates.

When Tom entered the room Kathryn was tapping her nails on the surface of one of the cabernets where her coffee pot stood brewing on top.

Tom was surprised to see her brewing coffee from scratch and not just ordering some from the replicator.

"I decided I like the taste of real coffee even more than the replicated stuff, and especially more than Nelix's coffee substitute." She said before Tom could even ask the question. Sometimes he swore she was part Batazoid, she had just neglected to tell anyone.

"Me too." He said as the pot came to a boil and he watched as she pour the liquid into the two separate cups. He watched as the steam rose off the mugs and distorted the image of her hand briefly before she placed the coffee pot back on it's station and turned handing him a hot cup, which he took gratefully. Tome realised that he was not grateful because he really wanted coffee, but that he was happy he now had something to do with his hands.

There had been something so vulnerable about the normally strong and independent woman who stood before him now, not once had Tom ever seen her cry, or hang her head, or not want to meet his eyes.

It was making him want to put his arms around her and hold her close, the only thing that was stopping him was the fact that she was still Kathryn Janeway and had a pretty mean left hook.

"Shall we." Kathryn said again breaking the silence that had once again crept up on them, obviously both lost in their own thoughts. She held out her hand offering him to go first as Tom accepted her offer and walked back into the living room.

Kathryn was quick to sit herself on the two seater couch and fold her legs up under neither her.

Tom decided to sit opposite her in the arm chair leaving the larger sofa devoid of company and bathed in a glow coming from a light outside. Tom stared at it for a second, he realised that her furniture did not match, this was something he did not expect from the pin straight, follow the rules Admiral Janeway, he then realised why. The sofa that was now unoccupied was very familiar, it's cream coloured surface shone much as it had done below that view port in her ready room, the indentation in the centre where she liked to sit and paint could still been seen when he looked closely. A smile came to Tom's lips as he realised that at least on part of Voyager was still alive and being used probably just as lovingly as it had been for seven years.

"Thought you might recognise that." Kathryn voiced as she had obviously seen him staring and then the smile appearing on his face had obviously alerted her to the fact he knew what he was looking at.

"I can't believe they let you keep it." Tom said thinking it must have been a hell of a job pulling it out and then getting it here.

"Let's just say, if I hadn't been able to bring it here I would have refused to get off it while it was still in my ready room." Tom looked up and saw a slight smirk on Kathryn's face, he couldn't help but join in as he took a sip of his oh so hot coffee and savoured the bitter taste.

"I am glad Tom that you have finally come to appreciate the wonders of coffee." She continued before Tom could ask her any more questions about Voyager.

"Well I had a good teacher." He replied giving her a smirk of his own as he set his cup down on his lap and levelled his gaze with her's.

"Do you know what your next assignment is?" Tom asked unable to hold off any longer, she had been in meetings half the day and yet had told him nothing. It was as if she wanted to include him only when he was useful to him. He didn't want to think that way about his former Captain, he knew she was not that kind of person, yet he once more felt like he was on the outside looking in.

Kathryn knew this question had been coming, from the moment she had returned from her afternoon meetings and they had spoken about where Tom was going to live, she knew he had wanted to ask about her latest assignment.

She also knew she wanted him with her, all she had to do was convince Starfleet it was a good idea, something easier said than done, considering that Owen Paris had hand picked Tom's assignment himself and was very exited about his son coming back as the XO of a prestigious Star ship.

Tom however did not seem so keen, she had to ask herself if that was because he truly did not want the assignment, or he was just being loyal to her.

She hoped it was the former, but she suspected the latter, Kathryn had known for a long time that Tom Paris would lay his life down for her, as all of the Voyager crew would do, she was no different in that even now, if she thought one of them was in trouble there would be no hesitation on her part to storm in and save them.

It was the one thing keeping her away from her former crew, she knew her influence would have a huge effect on their decisions, they would however unconsciously try to please her, it was why she had taken a step back, she had seen them through the home coming, the expected trials and then she had snuck off into the shadows, allowing her crew to have a life which didn't involve pleasing her or saving a ship on a daily bases.

For the most part the ex-crew of the USS Voyager had thrived, going home to family, continuing with their carrier's, making new homes for themselves, she spoke to each and everyone of them at least once a month, but only to enquire, never to question, that was until she had seen tom Paris when he had come back to save Voyager from being consigned to the annals.

Kathryn knew the first time she saw him that Tom Paris required an intervention, so consumed was she in trying to help him she had not thought her plan through properly, she had not planned for the fact that they might have said no. Now she was sat here staring at an old sofa that had shared so many of these conversations it almost seemed appropriate that they were here now and she was going to have to tell him just what Starfleet command had in store for their golden girl.

"They want me to design a holo training program base on our battles with the Borg, they want it as real as possible, with every contingency we ever went through, ever scenario they could possibly conceive, they expect it to take me several months and a whole lot of programmers." Kathryn paused trying to gauge Tom's reaction, but it was hard to tell in the fading light and the fact that he was looking from her to his half drank cup of coffee so she pressed on.

"They want to use it in the advanced training courses in the academy, also for a few select crews that are due to go on deep space missions, to asses any threat coming in that direction." This got a reaction, Tom's eyebrows flicked up momentarily making his eyes widen and the wrinkles visible on his normally smooth forehead.

"I don't even know if I should be telling you this, they did not say specifically that it was classified, but it is pretty hush hush for now, Starfleet does not want to even admit the Borg might be a threat." Kathryn said finishing off her coffee and placing the empty mug on the coffee table that separated the chairs.

"Typical Starfleet, burry their heads in the sand until the phaser fire is burning a hole in their front door." The look on Tom's face was not that of anger, but of consignment, he had accepted Starfleet's flaws long ago, something Kathryn was fairly new at.

"It has been two years Tom, the Borg threat is real, we know they were going to come back at some point, I am surprised I have only just been asked now to do something like this." Kathryn said leaning forward and placing her clasped hands in her lap and levelling her gaze at him.

"So what do you want to do?" Tom asked placing his cup next to her and mirroring her position.

"I want to do what they ask, but on two conditions, that is if you agree to it." She said with a slight smile on her face which dropped as she took in a deep breath before she continued.

"One that you help me with the program, you are the best holo programmer I know and you have been there, you have fought the Borg."

Tom scoffed slightly at the memory but his gaze held her's a slight smile of appreciation appearing on his lips at the complement.

"Number two, that when it is done and all the theorising is over I get to take a ship on one of these deep space missions with you as my first officer." Kathryn had to look away, there was something about Tom Paris which made her command mask slip without him seeming to do anything to make her drop it. as she spoke she could see his face changing, from concentrating to what she had to say, to slight pride at her complement, to what Kathryn could only describe as shock.

Perhaps she had been wrong, maybe Tom really wanted the job on the Renascence, and he had tried not to act to enthusiastic in light of her disappointed mood.

Kathryn was unsure as to what he was thinking now, until she felt two fingers lifting her chin, she had not even herd him get off the sofa and come over to her. So lost in thought and her own fears she had failed to notice the concern on Tom's face, concern that was now reflected in his eyes as he tilted her head up to his.

"That sounds like a damm fine idea to me." He said smiling at her but pulling his fingers away from her chin abruptly. He looked suddenly uncertain and Kathryn wondered what had happened to make him back off so quickly, before she could ponder the thought any more she could once again here Tom speaking.

"If they agree with your proposal I will turn down the offer of XO on the Renascence in favour of working with you on the Borg project." Tom said as he walked back over to her bay window and kept his back turned to her.

Kathryn couldn't help but wonder if he was saying these things just to make her happy, which was why he was keeping his back to her. Standing up and following him over to the window Kathryn had to know one way or another before she really pushed Starfleet on this, she knew they would not be happy about giving her a ship, let alone her going out in to deep space again, something she knew she could not and would not do alone.

Placing her hand on tom's shoulder she applied enough pressure to get him to turn around and face her. His eyes sifted around for a moment until her voice stilled them.

"Look at me Tom, I have to know if this is what you really want, that your not just doing and saying these things to please me, you have and wife and child to think about, this mission if it goes ahead is going to be long, and I don't know what kind of contact we will have with other ships." She said locking her eyes on his and seeing a flicker of what felt like anger when she mentioned his family.

"I don't have a wife and child, I have a relationship with a monitor screen, B'lanna is hostile at worst Polite at best and Miral this I am only five inches high most of the time." Kathryn was shocked by the anger behind his words but before she could voice her concerns he continued.

"I love my daughter, I want to be with her, but right now that is not possible, so instead I a going to do something that will make her proud of me." This time his eyes softened as he placed on hand on her upper arm.

"You are giving me the opportunity to do that." He said as Kathryn tried not to think about how Tom had only spoken about loving his daughter while they stood there cast in shadows from the room and the light shining in from the outside world.

Kathryn realised that neither of them had bothered to turn on a light as the night drew on outside.

"We know they are coming Tom, there have been warning signs for weeks, that's why I wanted the Carpathian to go and look, even untested she was a good ship, now I guess we will have to wait." Kathryn explained as Tom's eyes widened for a second as he dropped his hand from her arm and took in a deep breath.

"How far away are they?" he asked but right now Kathryn didn't know for sure no one did, that was what the mission was all about.

"Their on our door step Tom, and on our watch." She said as both of them stared out of the window and directed their gaze sky wards.

Ok I know not a lot happened in that chapter, apart from a lot of explanation about future chapters, well it has to be done, let me know how I am getting on do you want more action or is this pace good, let me know as you may inspire the next chapter either way. Thanks for reading XxX


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the delay in updates but this plot has been a long time coming to me.

Hope you enjoy

Tom lay awake in Kathryn's spare room, he could not sleep, and he didn't even feel like closing his eyes. Why were the federation so intent on trying to keep up public moral when it only led to more blood shed?

Now he knew what he knew, he was glad Kathryn had told him. The Borg were coming, not next year or in some distant future where his daughter would be the one dealing with tem, but here and now.

Tom rolled over on to his side, trying to get comfortable in the unfamiliar bed, now closing his eyes he realised that right now there was nothing he could do, except loose sleep, something witch he was sure Kathryn had been doing over the last week or so.

Tom had not let her slightly dull eyes and the tired way she carried herself, especially when it was just the two of them go unnoticed.

Not that he would ever mention anything, weakness was a dirty word to Kathryn Janeway and if he pointed out that she should perhaps have a day off, or just take a break and relax he knew he would be met with the same response the doctor had for all those weeks.

"I'm fine, nothing a good cup of coffee won't fix." He could almost here the irritated tone of her voice echoing in his ears when he realised her really could here her voice in his ears.

"Tom are you awake?" Her voice was soft, questioning and Tom thought a little vulnerable to. Sitting up quickly he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked at her leaning against the door frame, slightly back lit by the light coming in from a window in the hallway.

"Yeah can't you sleep either?" He said swinging around on the bed so he was now perched on the edge feet flat on the floor as Kathryn padded over to him. Her bare feet making no sound on the plush carpet.

Tom now knew why he had not heard her approach, as he watched her lower herself on to the bed next to him, not touching but close enough to suggest an intimacy of which Tom was not willing to look at right now.

"You know me and sleep." She said not looking at him and Tom wondered if Kathryn was just avoiding the question, or really didn't know how to answer it.

"I am worried Tom, worried that I have made a mistake in asking you to come back. I thought I would be helping you, but as it turns out I have just split you up from your family and told you we might be getting invaded." Kathryn said not taking her eyes off the floor until she had finished talking. Tom was not sure weather she was looking for reassurance or the opposite. Kathryn was her own worse critic and having someone confirm her fears was something she did just to punish herself more.

"Look Kathryn, it's still my life, if I didn't want to do this I wouldn't have come here in the first place." Tom said keeping a lock on her gaze so that she knew he was telling the truth.

"I know you are your own person Tom, and I trust you, and we make a great team, always have." She said and Tom got the distinct impression that she wasn't finished.

"I want to do this Tom, I want to fight back for once, not sit around pretending the inevitable is not going to happen. If I learnt one thing from Voyager it was that sitting back and hoping the problem will disappear is not an option. Something I would have hoped Starfleet would have learned from their war with the Dominion." Tom listened as Kathryn seemed to be come more frustrated, he was sure that there was something else that she wasn't telling him.

"Have Starfleet got a plan?" Tom asked curious to know exactly what the brass had com up with this time, but unsure as to weather she was aloud to tell him.

"Yes and no, the only thing they can seem to agree on is sending out these scouting parties to see just how far away they are." Kathryn replied and tom could tell that whatever had brought her to his room in the darkest part of the night was right on the tip of her tongue.

Kathryn sat there for a second not knowing which way to turn, yes she had just said she trusted him. The question was not that though, she was scared that if she told Tom of her ultimate plan he would actually agree with her. They were like that, polar opposite's in the case of following the rules, but in total agreement about saving friends and family.

Kathryn had known for weeks that Starfleet's plan of sending scout ships was not going to be enough, in fact it was likely to alert the Borg of their knowledge of them and make them come all that much faster. No action needed to be taken and fast, but her plan not only involved messing with the temporal prime directive, but also would endanger any ones life who accepted the mission. Perhaps that's why she wanted to tell Tom. Looking into his eyes now she could see his loyalty, his openness that he had around her that no one else seemed to posses, laid bare before her, obviously willing her to tell him, and Kathryn thought let him make up his own damm mind.

"I wanted to take a shuttle, I wanted to take the Delta flyer equip it with the shielding my future self gave us and the weapon technology we used to destroy them two years ago and try and take them out before they get close enough to fire a single shot." Kathryn said feeling the weight ease off her shoulder's as she spoke. Watching Tom's eyes carefully for his reaction Kathryn was holding her breath without realising it until her former pilot spoke.

"I think it's a great plan, ok so it messes with a few rules, but what does it matter when you could be saving billions of lives." Tom said and Kathryn could detect a note of enthusiasm in his voice, something she had not received from Starfleet command.

"That's what I told them, at first I couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth, but you know what, I worked too damm hard to get back here I will not loose it to the Borg." Kathryn said now feeling surer of herself and in Tom's reaction.

Turning to face him on the bed, not letting the situation stop her she took hold of his hand and held on to it tightly.

"Tom you are the only person in Starfleet beside's the admiralty that knows about this, I am going to have to swear you to secrecy." Kathryn said with a hint of regret she didn't want to have to ask him this but it was necessary.

"That means B'lanna to." She added trying to keep the wince of her face as a slight hurt look appeared in his eyes before he quickly recovered.

"I swear." He said holding up his hand as if he were an old fashioned Boy Scout before replacing it back in his lap.

"You know there maybe away we can go around Starfleet if you're willing to take a risk." Tom said a glint coming to his eyes which Kathryn could just make out in the darkness of the room.

"Ok why don't you tell me?" Kathryn smiled at him knowing that what he had to say might get her mission moving forward however much against the rules it was.

"I have access to a ship very similar to the Delta flyer, I built it myself at the research unit I was working at, you know a little side project, anyway its practically finished and is better than the flyer, and believe me it takes a lot for me to say that."

Kathryn believed him without question, she knew how much Tom had loved the flyer, and she was very happy for him when she had been installed on the Enterprise and used in active duty.

She was not surprised however by the fact he had gone and built himself a new one, and now she had a dilemma.

"So does that mean we have a choice now, we stay and hope that Starfleet come to their senses in time, give us a ship and let us at the Borg, or do we go alone and see what we can do?" Kathryn was thinking out loud and Tom didn't know weather she was asking for his input or just throwing things out there.

"Can you get hold of the technology we will need?" Tom asked when she made no further comment and Kathryn grinned at him and gave her famous half smile.

"No but I know someone who can." She said and Tom's mind immediately wondered, she was not thinking of using his dad surely, he was one of the hard and fast stickler's for the rules.

"Who?" He asked drawing a blank and getting slightly impatient at her smug look before she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"The Doc, he has been looking into it on the sly, having the most knowledge he was asked to continue he research, I think he will be willing to help, especially if I go to him with an offer to join us." Kathryn replied seeing the antsy look in Tom's eyes and only able to enjoy it for so long before she had to put him out of his misery.

"Oh joy stuck in a small ship with the doc for what six months a year, can't think of any place I would rather be." Tom said sarcasm dripping from his voice but Kathryn knew he didn't really mean it.

The doctor had been difficult, arrogant and damm right annoying at times, but he was family and their friend, both of them knew they would sacrifice their own lives for him, just as much as for any other member of the crew.

"He would be willing to die for this you know, for us." Kathryn said like it was something that they just both knew but it had to be spoken aloud.

"I know, and hey it could be worse, you could have suggested we go get Nelix to cook for us as well." Tom joked with her immediately lightening the mood as Kathryn gave him a playful smack on his arm.

"Don't even joke about that, I still have nightmares about that coffee replacement." Kathryn shuddered at the thought of the vile liquid while Tom looked on and couldn't help a smile appearing on his face.

"You know it wasn't that bad, you were just spoilt." Tom said deciding that it was worth the risk as Kathryn turned her glare on to him and he just chuckled.

"You know I miss not having the same effect on you I used to." Kathryn admitted as Tom took no notice of her death glare and he shifted back on the bed slightly.

"I'm sure Harry would be suitably scared for the both of us." He replied and Kathryn nodded, but she knew even Harry had grown up so much since he had been back.

"I saw Harry last week you know, he is doing so well, I am so proud of him, it would be a shame if his career were cut short."

Tom didn't know how to reply to that, when she put things in to context for him, the danger seemed so much more real.

"I don't want it for Miral either, I don't want her growing up in fear, or worse assimilated." Kathryn could see his eyes darken and she suddenly regretted mentioning the Borg threat again.

"So we start tomorrow, I have some leave coming and you have a weeks grace to make up your mind on your assignment, I suggest of we are going to do this we need to be out of the system before that time is up." Kathryn said turning slightly on the bed so now her legs were resting against Tom's and both of them felt the heat of the other but neither mentioned it.

"Tomorrow it is then, I suppose I will try and get my hands on my ship and you can talk to the Doctor." Tom said his eyes growing heavy and a large yawn catching him of guard.

"Don't you'll set me off." Kathryn said copying his yawn and stretching her aching muscles. It had been a long day for both of them, both physically and emotionally and now they were feeling the effects of the day finally.

"I think I can get to sleep now, how about you?" Tom asked her as Kathryn shifted up the bed so her head was level with his.

"I think so." She said as to Tom's surprise Kathryn stretched herself out beside him before curling on to her side and closing her eyes. Nothing was said by either of them as they lay there in the darkness of the room, the light from the moon creeping in at the edges of the curtains and casting the room in a soft blue glow.

Tom watched for a second as Kathryn's breathing evened out and she fell relaxed against his body, not feeling the need to move away and actually feeling better than he had in a long time Tom decided to just enjoy this moment as there may not be another one for a long time if ever.

Laying his head down now he threw one arm around Kathryn's waist and pulled her closer to him, allowing the flowery sent of her hair slowly send him to sleep.

Hope that was ok let me know, this was kind of a filler chapter so we know their final plan now, can they pull it off, or is it all destined to go wrong, if you want to know just review and I promise I will update as quickly as humanly possible.


	6. Chapter 6

I am sorry for the delay, too many stories and not enough time.

Please enjoy.

When Tom woke up he was not surprised to find that he was alone in the bed. Opening his eyes and seeing the light streaming in from between the curtains he knew that it was at least morning.

Tuning over on to his back Tom realised that last night was probably the first and the last time he would ever see Janeway that open and honest with him. He couldn't help the slight pang of regret that ran though him, while at the same time a certain amount of pride.

The fact that she had shared that kind of intimacy with him meant that she still trusted him, and there was no way he was going to let her down.

Hearing noises coming from the kitchen Tom finally pushed the covers away from his body and got out of bed.

Throwing a robe around his body he padded into the living room and followed the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Finding Kathryn stooped over the breakfast bar Padd in hand and coffee resting beside her Tom smiled at the sight.

She had gotten dressed and not in her uniform, she was wearing a simple pale yellow shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a simple pair of black leggings.

"Morning." Kathryn said as Tom suddenly felt guilty for appreciating the view but she said nothing about his staring as she offered him a steaming mug.

"It's fresh." She stated as she placed her Padd on the table and regarded him with a slightly cautious look.

Kathryn was feeling slightly awkward about last night, she had woken up early this morning to find them curled up together, his hand throw around her waist and her leg positioned between his. She felt warm and safe, and guilty for feeling anything at all. This man was her friend, her married friend and she had no business being in his bed or in his arms.

She had climbed out of that warm spot and wondered if she had left him as cold as she now felt. Not looking back for fear she would jump right back in beside him she had decided to get a shower and contact the doctor and start planning their mission.

The next time she looked up Tom had been staring at her from the doorway. He had moved as soon as she spoke and looked a little embarrassed himself. Thinking the best cause of action was to say nothing at all Kathryn decided that talking about their plan was the safest option and for once she actually had some news.

"I am going to see the doctor today, I spoke to him earlier and he seemed almost eager to see me." She started as she handed Tom the coffee she had made and watched as he drank.

"Oh is that unusual, doesn't everyone from Voyager want to see you?" Tom said genuine confusion crossing his face and Kathryn had to smile.

"Of course, but I see the doc quite regularly, but this time he was acting like he had something important to tell me, something he couldn't discuss on an open comm. Line." Kathryn reiterated for him as Tom placed his coffee cup down and nodded his head.

"I see, so you think it has something to do with our little Borg problem?" Tom asked realising that Kathryn had decided just to ignore last night and all it's consequences, and right now he was just fine with that.

"I'm not sure, but I have a feeling that if it is, we better be ready to leave as quickly as we can." Kathryn replied going back over to the coffee pot to refill her own cup. Tom briefly wondered how many cups that was already for her, but he was not about to ask.

"Ok I will go and see my old boss today, I still owe him a last report on the class 5 shuttle and I can see how my ship is coming along." Tom said knowing that all the new flayer needed was a coat of paint, she was space worthy and Tom secretly couldn't wait to fly her.

After his shower tom and Kathryn had gone their separate ways, while Kathryn had taken the shuttle over to Starfleet medical Tom had hopped on a transport station and beamed back to France.

It was warm and sunny as Tom ascended the small hill which led to the testing station where he had worked up until last week. A small part of him did feel sad that he would not be coming here again, at least not for some time and as he pushed open the large hanger doors a wave of nostalgia hit him as the new yet unnamed flyer came into view.

"Tom I thought you might be back for her." His boss Dale Fletcher said coming over to him and offering him a hand, which Tom took immediately and gave it a fierce shake.

"I know you had your heart set Dale but I just couldn't leave her behind." Tom said as they walked around to the aft section and climbed on board. Everything was just as Tom remembered, the controls were like that of the delta flyer, real knobs and buttons, a joystick even to control pitch and speed. Tom touched the seats with a reverence he used to touch B'lanna with, now it seemed his hands were only good for the cold steal of a ship.

"Can I take her Dale? I mean I told you we could sell her and we would share the profits but I really need her." Tom said knowing that beating around the bush was not something he had time for.

"Can I ask why the sudden change of mind." Dale asked and Tom got the distinct impression that the man was not angry, but confused.

"You can ask but I can't tell you." Tom replied, he hated the idea of classified as much as the next non Starfleet person but this time it wasn't his secret to tell.

"Like that is it, well, you built her Tom, she is your ship." Dame said as Tom sat in the pilots chair and looked out of the forward windshield.

Kathryn arrived at Starfleet medical five minutes before she was due to see the doctor, thinking that she would be on time for once Kathryn walked briskly along the pathway and passed several Starfleet personnel who all gave her a salute or a incline of the head. She was in a hurry but she tried to acknowledge their presence without slowing down.

That was until she practically bumped into Owen Paris who had to hold her upright before she fell on her arse.

"Sorry sir I guess I wasn't watching where I was going." She said trying to smile but only managing to half squint in the sunlight.

"Kathryn I hear you are going to request my son for a place on your team, to work on the Borg holo project." Owen said and Kathryn noticed the older man did not look happy, in fact she would go as far as to say angry at this latest news.

"I have mentioned it in passing yes." Kathryn replied trying to avoid the question somewhat as she realised she was now going to be late.

"I whish you wouldn't Kathryn, the first officer spot on the Renascence is a great posting, I know he would practically do anything for you don't let him waste his career just because you are lonely." Owen said blocking her way forward and Kathryn felt her blood boil as she stood there looking up at the larger man.

"Sir we both know that Tom is only back here because of me in the first place, he would still be flying shuttles and probably being pretty happy that he was far away from you. Now if you will excuse me I am late for a doctor's appointment." As soon as the words left her mouth Kathryn internally winced, but Owen Paris said nothing more, he merely let her pass him and Kathryn was not going to hang around to wait for a response.

Making it into the building Kathryn checked to see if he was still in the same room and went straight for the turbo lift and got in allowing the quite to calm her beating heart as she got over shouting at a senior officer.

The turbo lift doors opened before she even realised the lift had even started moving and Kathryn righted herself from where she had fallen against the back of the turbo lift.

There was nothing she could do now anyway, plus if what she had planned with Tom worked, being insubordinate to Owen Paris would be the least of her worries.

Pushing open the doors to the Doctors office Kathryn stepped over the thresh hold and almost straight into the waiting arms of her old friend.

"Admiral boy do I have some news for you." He said excitedly as he threw his arm around her shoulder and led her towards his lab.

"Doctor before we get into that I have something to ask you." Kathryn said forcing the doctor to slow down and look at her. Kathryn knew if she let the doc get into his latest experiment he would likely talk until the sun went down. No today she did not have time for pleasantries.

"Of course, but it will have to be big to top what I have." The doctor said displaying some of that old arrogance they eventually came to love him for.

"Oh well I best just get it over with then." Kathryn said giving him a half smile as she stepped closer to him and lowered her voice.

"The technology you have been working on, you know to do with our friend from the future, I was wondering if you could get you hands on enough of it to retro fit a small ship." Kathryn said watching as the doctors face went from curious to shocked in a matter of seconds.

"You know I can Admiral, and I have a feeling Starfleet know nothing about your request, as they have just asked me about the technology themselves. It's what I wanted to talk to you about actually." The doc said as they both sat down at his desk but kept the conversation quite.

"Yesterday Owen Paris asked me if I had continued with the work, he wanted to know if it could be adapted to our current star ships. I told him that I would have to do further research."

Kathryn was shocked, they had mentioned nothing to her about this line of enquiry, in fact they had told her not to peruse the idea of using the technology her future self had brought back with her.

"That's not all he told me specifically not to tell you about our conversation, that it would only upset you. He has to remember I am a Doctor not a spy, secrets are not my forte." He said as Kathryn gave him an understanding nod as she levelled her eyes with his.

"Ok, well you see I already have the ship, Tom is going to fly it and we want you to come along, we plan on seeking out the Borg and seeing if we can prevent them for even seeing Earth out of their view screen." Kathryn said her voice rising at the end as the thought of Borg on Earth angered her and caused her to tighter her fists.

"I see, when did you want to leave?" the doctor asked as he noticed her tense in her chair and glance at the door.

"As soon as possible, Tom is getting his ship as we speak, how soon can you get you hands on the schematics for that armoured plating?" Kathryn asked now feeling like something wasn't right, like they were being watched. Turning to look at the door no one was there as she looked back at the Doctor he was watching her.

"I can get it right now, as well as the designs for the weapons we used, is something wrong Admiral?" He asked growing concerned at the way she was fidgeting in her chair.

"I just have this feeling like we are being watched, it's silly really Starfleet don't spy on there own, usually anyway." Kathryn added not feeling so sure of herself when foot falls came from the corridor outside.

"That's more than just a couple of cadets walking passed." The doc said as they both stood up and faced the door.

"Get out of here Admiral, I can distract them long enough so you can get away." He said pushing her towards the back of the room where there was a second door which led to another office.

"What about you, we need you for this mission to be a success, not only that doctor, I have no intention of letting you take the wrap for this." Kathryn said as he practically forced her out of the room.

"I will download my program along with all the information you will need into my mobile emitter I will throw the emitter out the window as soon as I can, make sure you are at the base of the window ready to catch me." He said as the door chime went accompanied by a loud voice.

"Doctor open the door we wish to speak to admiral Janeway." Kathryn waited no longer slipping out the back and passed the guards waiting out side the doc's door Kathryn watched as the doc let them into his office and she began to run.

Tom had started up the new flyer's engine's, they hummed like a purring kitten and Tom could always here the beauty on the way a ship sounded. He could still remember the sound Voyager used to make at night, when she was at a steady warp 4 and all was calm. Taking a deep breath he turned to say good bye to Dale who was just walking out of the hatch.

"Thank you Dale, for everything." Tom said with a large smile on his face as the man returned the smile and said.

"You know she still hasn't got a name, now you are going to actually fly her you're going to need to think of one." He said as the door started to close.

"Maybe I had one in mind all along." Tom replied as the hatch shut out the last of the day light and Tom fired up the engines to full.

Ok what should I call the new ship answers on a post card please, seriously if you can think of a name that would be great I am rubbish at that, but if not I sure I will come up with something. Bit more action in this chapter I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading XxX


	7. Chapter 7

Apologies for the delay once more.

I realise that I did not put a disclaimer on this story, but hey I suppose it's too late to worry about who owns them now. Plus if anyone ever did sue me I would be torn between being scared I was going to be bankrupt, and elated that they had read my story in the first place.

Some thing to ponder anyways.

Now Tom had the new flyer, he was not sure what he wanted to do with it. he couldn't exactly go and park it on the roof of Kathryn's building, neither could he go without her. He needed somewhere safe to keep it, safe but within easy reach.

Taking her up and away from the surface he had the perfect idea, although he wasn't sure how welcome he would be in Bloomington he did know that Gretchen Janeway would practically do anything for her daughter. Even though the Paris family had not seen eye to eye for quite a few years now, Tom decided that he was not exactly a proper Paris and he would take the chance.

Alone in the new flyer now Tom had a chance to wonder about how Kathryn was getting on with the doctor, it had only been a few hours, but he had been expecting to here from her by now.

Wondering if something had gone wrong Tom's hand paused over his comm. Badge. They said they would only use the open line if it was an emergency, but he had no other way of contacting her right now. Patching a signal though to Starfleet medical from a ship was foolhardy at best, damm stupid at worst and Tom knew better than to try it.

Checking the chronometer once more he noted that it was barely one in the afternoon, and that he was probably worrying for nothing. He knew from first hand experience how the doc could go on talking for hours. The only thin g Kathryn was in danger of right now was probably going def from the doc's voice.

Tom allowed a small smile to curl the corners of his moth at the image of Kathryn's face slumped into the palm of her hand while she desperately tried not to look bored, or worse angry.

Tom looked at his sensors and saw that he was only twenty minutes away from Kathryn's family home in Indiana, he decided that if he hadn't heard from her by then, he would call using her mother as a smoke screen for any one who might be listening in.

Neither of them had said it, but both were thinking the possibility of someone discovering their plan was however unlikely, still a risk and keeping the watchful gaze of the Admiralty off their backs was of high priority.

Knowing that the feeling in the pit of his stomach was just that of permission nerves, the exhilaration of once again making a difference Tom ignore the idea that the feeling was that of impeding trouble and piloted the flyer down towards Bloomington.

Kathryn raced down the stairs, not wanting to be trapped in the turbo lift she lept out on the open, more chance of being spotted, but less chance of being caught.

Busting into the open space in the shadow of the Starfleet medical building Kathryn glanced upwards. She realised that she didn't have the first clue where the doctor's office was in relation to her place on the ground.

Slowing to a walk, deciding she would look less conspicuous at a stroll, than racing through the grounds like her arse was on fire Kathryn kept her eyes on the windows above her as she walked.

Not knowing how long it would take the doctor to get himself out of his office or even if he would be able to pull it off Kathryn's heart began to beet faster, not because she was warn out from her sprint down the stairs. On the contrary she had kept herself in shape after Voyager, but it was the waiting and not knowing what was happening up there, that was sending her pulse rate though the roof as the adrenaline pumped through her system.

Just as she was about to explode Kathryn caught the glimpse of something as it caught the sunlight and for a brief second as it flashed straight into her eyes it blinded her.

Not pausing to see if anyone was watching her Kathryn dived and caught the small object. Saving it from hitting the hard pavement below she clutched it to her chest and took off across the lawn with speed she no longer thought she possessed.

Using her ears rather than her eyes to know that she was being followed Kathryn darted around a corner and pressed her back to a wall.

Taking slow and as deep breaths as she could she kept her muscles tense, ready to move in case she was spotted. After a few minutes of hearing nothing further Kathryn poked her head out from behind the wall she had hidden behind.

The surrounding area had gone back to being quite and serene, but Kathryn knew better, there was no way she was getting out of here without some assistance. Starfleet obviously knew something about her plan, not only that but they obviously wanted to stop her.

Pressing the mobile emitter Kathryn activated the doctor who was now looking at her expectantly.

"I thought we might at least have gotten further than twenty feet before you re activated me." He said looking back at his own office window then back at his former Captain.

"Sorry doctor but we have heat on our tails and I need a distraction." Kathryn said ducking back behind the wall as two security officers crossed the quad.

"I am a doctor not a firework, getting us out of hot water was always your department admiral." He said copying her actions and keeping himself out of sight.

"Why haven't they just sent an army for you, if they want to stop you so badly?" He asked after a few moments of no more activity and Kathryn sighed.

"Because if they capture me publically they are scared I will defend myself by blowing the whistle on the Borg. They won't risk my silence by taking me away where everyone can see." Kathryn said as she saw a gap.

Grabbing the doctor by the arm they raced across the quad and came up next to the cadet housing, behind them was an open area which led into the grounds of headquarters, and beyond that a transport station.

"We need to get there, find Tom and then somewhere we can modify the flyer." Kathryn panted slightly as she kept hold of the doctor's hand, squeezing it slightly. She was not sure if it was for his benefit or his.

"Ok so this distraction what did you have in mind?" He asked now looking around for any sign that they had been seen, but he saw nothing to lead him to that conclusion.

"I need you to change in to admiral Paris, then pick a cadet, he likes to make them take a quiz on the spot. Ask them something they are bound not to know, then punish them." Kathryn said noting the few students milling about in the gardens. Some were eating, others moving from lesson to lesson.

"Punish them how?" the doc asked but Kathryn only smiled.

"I'm sure you can use your imagination doctor." She said folding her arms and waiting for him to change his appearance.

Huffing slightly the doctor fiddled with his mobile emitter for a second then he was Owen Paris, pips and all.

"Well?" He asked in Owens's voice, it almost made Kathryn shiver.

"Perfect, now go, I will get to the transport station, on my signal join me and make it fast." She said shoving him out into the open as he turned and asked her.

"What is the signal?" but she was gone. Looking around he guessed he would just know when he saw it the doctor crossed the grounds and spotted the two perfect cadets to pick on.

Kathryn disappeared into the shadows, she had to contact Tom. It was deemed that they would only use the comm. In an emergency, but this she thought qualified.

She needed to know just where she should go once they reached the transporter. Her house was not a good idea at this time, and she knew Tom would not be there. For a moment she whished that he was here with her right now.

Tapping her comm. Badge Kathryn was surprised at how quickly he answered.

"Kathryn what's happened." He replied to her hail and he sounded worried.

"I have run in to some trouble Tom, where are you?" she replied keeping her eyes peeled as the doctor collared two cadets.

"Your mother's house, I needed somewhere big enough to hide the flyer. I can be there in twenty minutes." He said obviously making a B line for his ship.

"No Tom, they can't know about that ship me and the doc are about to get a transport out of here. Stay put, at my mother's." Kathryn added a little dubious, but she had to admit it was pretty ingenious too.

"Yeah ok, but if your not back in ten minutes then I am coming to get you all guns blazing." He said and Kathryn had to smile, all though Tom couldn't see it she allowed the sound of his voice to relax her back to calm while she waited for the prefect moment to break her cover.

"I will be back in five." She said softly to him before she broke the comm. Link and made her way along a low hedge.

Tom was watching the clock, the seconds seemed to tick passed like hours as he literally watched the second hand on Gretchen Janeway's old fashioned clock tick round.

The ornate wooden clock hung from what looked like an old fashioned hook which was mounted on the far wall above the fire place. When Tom had first arrived in his shiny new ship he thought he was going to give the white haired older lady a heart attack right on her own porch.

"Tom Paris?" It was more of a question than a greeting and Tom could tell she was trying to see if it was him, or her eye sight not being what it was, had mistaken him for somebody else.

"Yes Mrs Janeway it's me." Tom said unsure weather to hug or not. The question was answered when the slightly frail woman embraced him in a bear hug so fierce he thought he might snap in half.

Once Tom had managed to prize Gretchen Janeway from around his waist they had talked briefly. It was good that Tom didn't need to tell her too much, he realised that this woman probably understood classified better than any admiral in Starfleet.

Tom was about to ask Gretchen if she would contact Kathryn when his comm. badge alerted him to Kathryn calling.

She had said five minutes, it had been four, tom had promised to wait ten, but his fingers were already twitching in anticipation.

"Do not fret young Mr Paris, my daughter has always had a habit of wanting to make a grand entrance." Gretchen said as she placed her hand on his shoulder, in exactly the same way her daughter used to do.

"I know, wont stop me worrying though." He said turning to her, and removing his eyes from the clock.

"Me either." She then admitted with a smile as a hurried knock came at the door. Tom sprang out of the chair, he thought that Kathryn would almost certainly try and materialize inside the house, this must be someone else.

"Don't worry I will take care of it, probably only Mr Danvers from down the road." Gretchen said as she shuffled off down the hall way and left Tom alone with the clock once again.

Kathryn had waited until the cadet was down on the floor doing push ups. A semi large crowd had gathered and were now watching as Admiral Paris started firing off questions at all the watching cadets.

Kathryn raced into the open, along the path, did a hard right and came up a few meters short of the transport station. Turning on her heel she tapped her comm. Badge twice to alert the doctor she had reached her destination and he soon came running out of the crown and joined her on the pad.

"I have programmed in the destination doctor hurry up." Kathryn called from her position on the pad as he stopped to check that they hadn't been spotted.

"Ok ok I'm coming he said as he had almost not finished moving as the transporter beam grabbed him. The next thing he knew he was stood on some rickety old porch while Kathryn knocked on the door.

"Mom." Kathryn said as Gretchen opened the door and quickly stepped out to hug her daughter.

"Kathryn?" She heard Tom's voice echo down the hall way as Tom appeared behind her mother as he looked her up and down. Kathryn tried unsuccessfully to stop the blush from covering her cheeks under his gaze. That was until Tom spotted the person behind her on the porch.

"Shit dad! I mean sorry." Tom said having cussed at his father, and being caught at Kathryn's family home.

"Oh no Tom, it's ok, show him doc." Kathryn said as the doctor realised he had yet to change back into himself.

"See Mr Paris you are quite safe from being reprimanded for your colourful use of language." The doc said as he once again looked like himself and Tom stepped forward to embrace his old friend.

"Well this is a surprise, and here I thought you only liked me for my singing ability." The doctor joked as Kathryn linked one arm though Tom's then the other through the doctor's and walked them in to the house.

"We will be safe here overnight, that is if it ok with you mom." Kathryn said sending a look towards her mother who was putting the kettle on. Much to Kathryn's gratitude, the woman did know her daughter well even after a seven year absence.

"Of course it is, you guys can stay in the out house, that way if they come looking for you here, they wont find you." Gretchen said with a rye smile at her daughter who returned the gesture.

"Out house." Tom replied

"I will show you later, but right now we need to figure out a plan to get the flyer out of here and somewhere safe where we can make the modifications. They are bound to come here sooner or later looking for me, I am hoping for later, but I think one night is going to be our limit.

"I may have somewhere, I might need to ask a few favours though." Tom said as Gretchen brought over the coffee and the aroma filled the air.

"Work later, now it's time for tea, that and I want to know all about what in gods name is going on." Gretchen Janeway said and Kathryn knew that tone of voice. It was time to come clean, well at least to her mother, for now.

Hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you thought, the action starts here everybody. Well at least I will try thank you for reading XxX


	8. Chapter 8

As promised another update thank you for taking time to read my little story.

After the tea was drank and the conversation had dried up, and all that was left was the doctor's never ending rambling's which Gretchen didn't seem to mind Kathryn stood up and pulled Tom along with her.

"I am just going to show Tom the out house, will you be alright here doctor." Kathryn asked, but she made it more of an order by the tone of her voice and the doctor just nodded his affirmation.

"Come on we should be thinking about getting some sleep anyway." Kathryn said as she took hold of Tom's arm and led him outside though the door at the rear of the house.

"Tom I think you should contact B'lanna." Kathryn said suddenly stopping him with a hand on his chest and Tom looked down at her.

The moonlight made her look even more pale than usual, her auburn hair framing her face like a deep red halo and Tom had forgot to tell her that he was pleased she had decided to grow it out again. Taking a deep breath knowing that she was right Tom nodded his head slightly.

"Ok, but perhaps I should wait until we are out of Earth's orbit." He said thinking he could at least by himself a little time to think about just what he might say.

"Ok agreed, now this is the out house, its not exactly the presidential suit at the Carlton, but it dry and warm, and has a useable bed." Kathryn said as she led them up a narrow flight of stairs into what looked like a loft conversion. Tom suspected that it had been used for centuries by farm hands and farmers alike when the animals below were giving birth.

"It will do just fine." Tom said looking once more at Kathryn who was now standing and staring out of the back window which overlooked the meadow beyond.

"We should go and tell the doc to deactivate himself. He will be harder to locate if anyone should come looking that way." Tom said feeling like he should move closer to her yet felling unable to do so.

"Yeah not to mention better for my poor mothers health." She said turning and smiling at Tom who was giving her a rather odd look in the moonlight. If she didn't know any better she would have said it was a look of adoration, but she put it down to the shadows that line the room.

"Come on we can grab some blankets and turn off the doc." She said breaking the moment and heading back down the stirs.

"Where is the new flyer anyway?" Kathryn asked as they made their way back to the main house and Tom smirked at her.

"Oh now that would be telling, I did make one modification that Starfleet would not approve of." Tom said taking Kathryn by the shoulders and steering her away from the house once more and towards the main barn.

"Are you sure you should be showing it to an Admiral then." Kathryn joked and Tom gave her a pointed look, stopping her for a second and capturing her eyes with his own. Blue met blue and for an instant all the feelings that had been carefully buried over the years came flying to the surface once more. Before Tom could loose his courage he took a deep breath.

"Because I trust you." He said quietly letting go of her shoulders and just looking at her waiting for any kind of response.

Kathryn was shocked by just how hard her heart was beating in her chest. She felt like the word was still moving although she was sure she was standing perfectly still. Held there by Tom's gaze and vocal cords refusing to work.

"I trust you to Tom." Was all that she managed in the end but Tom seemed happy with that as he continued steering her towards the bar.

As they stepped through the small side door Kathryn was confused at first, there was nothing in here. Granted it was a huge barn, but the flyer couldn't possibly be that small could it. Flashes of her academy days, squashed into a class 2 shuttle with nine other cadets made her shiver slightly as Tom stopped and folded his arms.

"Well?" Kathryn said as the smile on Tom's face lit up his eyes and finally the penny dropped for Kathryn.

"You cloaked it didn't you?" She said giving him a crooked smile and patting him on the arm.

"Should I even bother to ask where you got it from?" Kathryn said as she followed Tom forwards until he reached out and his hand came in contact with something hard.

"Probably nit, but it's paid for and they wont be coming back for it." He said and Kathryn decided she could live with that as Tom found the access port and flicked the switch and revealed the flyer.

"Tom she is beautiful." Kathryn said admiring the graceful lines of the larger than expected ship.

"Come on take a look inside." He said his tone holding that boyish exuberance that Kathryn found so appealing in him and she smiled at him and followed him onto the flyer.

"Tom this is amazing, actual bunk beds. Fully functioning lab and sonic shower, anyone would have thought you were planning long range missions in this." Kathryn said playfully as she stopped by the scaled sown astromestrics station which she was sure seven of nine had something to do with and Tom just grinned at her.

"I thought to myself I would only have the best equipment on this ship, and hey it took time but I did just that." He said as Kathryn sat in the helm seat and admired the pure craftsman's ship of it all.

"You should be very proud of yourself Tom, again that is, she is a wonderful ship." Kathryn said turning in the seat and looking at Tom who was leaning against the back of the navigation station and looking out f the window.

"Company." He said pointing to the two people in the barn as the doctor waved back at them.

"I knew it wouldn't last." Kathryn grinned at Tom as they left the flyer and joined the doctor and Gretchen on the dusty floor of the now disused barn.

"I thought we might find you here, Tom is very proud of this ship, I knew he would want you to see her." Gretchen said giving her daughter a knowing glance which Kathryn tried to ignore as the doctor started talking about the ship.

"So Tom where ever did you get the cloak?"

"How about I tell you that on the way, we have a long journey and I should same some stories." Tom replied as Kathryn tried to keep the smile of her face.

"Good choice Mr Paris, or should I say commander, I never really did congratulate you on your promotion." The doc said as they all headed back inside as the night started to draw colder and Kathryn could feel the first signs of autumn on the air.

"That's because he left so quickly afterwards no one could." Kathryn said commenting on what the doctor had said as she made her way upstairs to grab some blankets.

Tom followed her and the doctor brought up the rear, he had a slightly puzzled look on his face as he watched Kathryn hand Tom several pillows and pulled out two large slightly warn blankets handing one to himself.

"Why are you not just sleeping in the house, surely if Starfleet come for you they are not just going to check the bedrooms and take your mother's word for it that we are not here." The doctor said as Kathryn pointed directing him to go back down the stairs.

"No I know that, but it will give us enough time to get away if they do come, the out house is obstructed from view by the main barn and in turn gives us better access to the flyer." She stated like the answer was obvious and the doctor couldn't help but bristle.

"I suppose sitting behind a desk has taken away my battle sharpness. Well at least now I can fine tune those skills once more." The doc replied as Tom gave him a light pat on the back as they all followed Kathryn up into the loft in the out house once more.

"Now doctor I am going to have to ask you to deactivate yourself, its not like you need to sleep, and it will make it easier for us to keep you safe in case we are surprised in the middle of the night." Kathryn said trying to make the doctor understand that they didn't just want him to go away.

"Understood, I will set myself for automatic activation at 0600hours. If I am alone I will know where to find you." He said giving them a small nod of the head before he played with his emitter and it fell to the ground.

Tom bent over to pick it up, unsure where would be the safest place to put it, he settled for a soft looking pile of sacs in the corner and hid it slightly under the leading edge.

"I hope we don't forget him if we have to get out of here quickly." Tom said as he turned around to see Kathryn pulling off her shirt to reveal a small tank top which ended just above her midriff exposing some creamy skin to the moonlight.

"I hope not as well, he has all the specification we need to modify the flyer." Kathryn said completely unaware about the effect her current state of dress was having on Tom.

"Umm yeah that wouldn't be good." Tom said wondering weather he should also remove some clothing. The shirt he had on was not think but in this confined space with two people sharing one bed it would get pretty warm pretty quickly. Following her lead Tom pulled of his shirt and pulled off his trousers. Deciding that his briefs were no less revealing than his shorts Tom decided that he would also be far more comfortable.

Not that she hadn't seen him in his sleep shorts last night anyway. Tom was shocked when Kathryn pulled of her leggings and folded them up neatly alongside her shirt and climbed under the covers. One smooth slim leg disappearing beneath the covers after another and Tom was for a moment paralyzed by the sight.

"It can get pretty warm up here." Kathryn said while fluffing her pillow, like she needed to voice the reasons for her state of undress while Tom was just unsure as to thank whoever was watching over him for this rare sight. Or to curse them for making him endure it for the next few hours.

Deciding that the possibility of feeling her smooth warm skin alongside his own was worth the internal punishment Tom climbed in beside Kathryn and found that there was not a great deal of room in the bed.

"What are you going to tell B'lanna?" Kathryn asked as Tom battled with the urge to cuddle up behind her and he immediately sprang away from her petite body.

"I we haven't done anything." He said confused as Kathryn turned over on to her back and gave him what he could only describe as bedroom eyes.

"That wasn't quite what I meant Tom. I was talking about how you were going to tell her you will be away for along time." She smiled at him and Tom knew she was storing that little slip of the tongue away to use on his later.

"I don't know I was hoping that I could just tell her I was testing out the new flyer and contact her at a later date to tell her about the mission." He said propping himself up on an elbow so he could look at her while she lye next to him.

"You need to say goodbye Tom, there is no guarantee that we will even make it out of this solar system, let alone all the way across the alpha quadrant, and back again." She said a softness in her voice which was at odds with her words. They seemed to Tom like an admission that she thought this mission was going to fail.

"I know what the risk are Kathryn, but maybe I am not quite ready for that conversation yet." He said felling like right here right now maybe he should confess that he had said goodbye to B'lanna months ago, it was saying the same thing to Miral that was scaring him so much.

As it turned out he didn't need to say it at all, he had forgotten just how observant Kathryn Janeway was.

"Saying goodbye to your daughter will be the hardest thing you ever have to do Tom, but not doing it might haunt you for the rest of your life." She said as Tom felt her hand wrap around his own. Her fingers lacing with his own so perfectly it felt as though they had done this a million times not the twice it really was.

"I know and I will do it, I promise, just give me some time ok." He said squeezing her hand back in what he hoped was a friendly way. Kathryn however made no move to let go of his hand as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"So who are these friends of yours that are going to put us up wile we make our modifications?" She asked not opening her eyes and Tom could tell she was tired, but he also knew she wouldn't have asked the question if she hadn't wanted the answer.

"Oh two old drinking buddies of mine, I met them back before I was reformed by your truly." He said giving her a playful poke to which she cracked open one eye and raised her eyebrow.

"Oh so some savoury characters I expect." She said playfully but there was no hint of trepidation in he voice.

"Indeed, but they are good friends loyal and will say absolutely nothing to anyone, especially Starfleet." He replied laying down fully now as Kathryn let go of his hand and turned on to her side so she was facing him.

She was searching his eyes, looking for that doubt she kept expecting to find there, she still didn't see it, but she knew she would have to make him contact his daughter before they left.

She had know for a while that he and B'lanna had not been getting along, in fact the rumour mill had started over a year ago when he had left them to pursue his career in test piloting. The information had in fact come from Harry who sounded less disappointed than Kathryn had expected. Now she knew why, Tom was not happy with his wife, the spark had gone out and all that seemed to be left was the distant memory of what was their relationship. Left somewhere deep in the delta quadrant, along with her crew and their ship.

Now they lay here facing one another, about to embark on a mission that could cost them their lives and for what? The chance to be a hero again? or the very future of the alpha quadrant? Kathryn was too tired to answer these questions right now, but she was under no illusion that they would have to be answered soon. Opening her eyes and finding Tom looking back at her she smiled slightly.

"Try and get some sleep Tom, we have a big day tomorrow and I don't want you falling asleep at the helm, you still have to teach me how to fly that thing." She said jokingly as he grinned back at her.

"It will be my pleasure Admiral." He said as she turned over and backed her body in to the curve of his. Tom did not hesitate in wrapping her up in his arms this time as she settled against him. For some reason right now they both needed the physical contact, he supposed that they were both making sure the other was still there. Tom expected that there would be more moments like this to come in the next few moths. He secretly looked forward to them all.

If anyone is still reading I hope you enjoyed this on a beautiful Easter Sunday, I am off to enjoy the weather, for once the sun is shining and I intend not to waist it.

Thank you for reading XxX.


	9. Chapter 9

Back again hope you can forgive my slowness with which this story is being written.

They did not in fact go quietly into the night. They did however manage to take the doctor with them.

Kathryn woke up to the sounds of voices. At first she wasn't sure if she had imagined them but as Tom rolled over and pressed into her rib cage and fully woke her from the half sleep she had been in Kathryn knew she was not dreaming.

"Tom, Tom wake up." Kathryn whispered shaking Tom on the shoulder as he roused himself enough to open one eye.

"Humm what's up?" He asked still half asleep, when Kathryn's hand clamped down on his mouth.

"Sussh." Was all she said as she placed her finger over her lips and removed her hand from his mouth.

"Voices" Tom said in a low tone as Kathryn climbed out of bed slowly and pulled on only her shoes.

Tom followed suit knowing they would only have minutes to get to the flyer, if they were lucky that was and they made it at all.

He watched as Kathryn went over to the corner and pick something up from under a sac. Tom realised in his still half asleep state that she had managed to remember the doctor and Tom was once again grateful for her amazing memory.

Nothing was said between them as they scurried down the stairs, half dressed and wide eyed as they crossed the short expanse of open space into the barn.

The flyer was cloaked but Tom knew exactly where the control panel was and he flicked the switch so the flyer was once again visible/

Climbing on bored quickly Kathryn settled in the seat next to Tom's and started the pre flight check. Both skimming over what they should really do but both knowing they had time for little else.

Tom once again engaged the cloak and fired up the engines.

"Tom the doors?" Kathryn said as she realised that the barn doors were in fact closed and there was no other way out of this barn. Tom glanced at her. She was looking at him, not in her usual tense, but stoic way, but wide eyed and flustered. He looked out of the view screen to see people entering the barn. Using the side door they had come in through earlier Tom could clearly see four armed security guards. They in turn surrounded his father.

"We will have to find someway to pay your mother back." Tom said knowing that the noise of the flyer's engines were clearly audible. It was not going to take a genius to work out that there was a ship in the barn.

"What Tom?" Kathryn said a split second before she realised just what he was about to do and she gripped hold of the arm rest on her chair.

The flyer took of as Tom spun her around to face the huge wooden doors of the antiquated barn.

Pulling the joystick in his hand backwards at a steady rate the flyer in creased in speed until the impact from destroying the doors threw both Tom and Kathryn into the back of their seats.

"Whooho" Tom shouted as he pulled the flyer up at a steep angle away from the earth and up in to the vastness of space.

"You ever do that again and I will kill you." Kathryn said her heart pounding in her chest. He was however extremely grateful that he had done it, even though he had wreaked her mother's barn, and probably her blood pressure levels at the same time.

"Are you loved it Kathryn, go on admit it we are alone, no one else will even know your dirty little secret." Tom joked with her as they broke out of Earth's atmosphere and glided right passed a passing Star ship.

"And what secret would that be Mr Paris?" Kathryn asked, deciding to play along with his little game for now.

"That you are an adrenaline junky." He said with a quick sideways grin at her as he pushed the flyer into a steady warp 3 and Kathryn began to relax in her chair.

"You know Tom you may be right, but I don't like being woken up at O' Christ hundred by a bunch of security officers and, of all people your father." Kathryn said a frown coming to her face as she raised her leg on to the seat and placed her head on her knee.

"I know, he planned that, do you have a feeling he knew where we were, and was just waiting for the perfect time to come and get us?" Tom speculated as he tried not to stare at the bare expanse of thigh Kathryn was now showing.

"I don't know, but the time they turned up, I would say it was likely." She replied as she tried to keep her gaze out of the view port and not at Tom's bare chest.

"How long until we reach your friends?" Kathryn asked turning to look at him now and running her hand through her messy hair.

"About one day, give or take depending on traffic." Tom said now looking at her in return and smiling that cheeky smile that made her pulse raise slightly higher than normal.

"Traffic?" she said a slight frown coming to her face and Tom couldn't keep the smirk from forming on his face.

"You'll see."

They decided to leave the doctor off until he reactivated automatically at 0600. they were enjoying the piece and quite, that the other provided. Kathryn had replicated them some clothes at Tom's suggestion and she was now wearing a pair of what he called biker leathers and a matching jacket. The shirt she had on was what he called foe dirty and Kathryn was not sure she liked this street urchin look.

Tom seemed to revel in it though, and Kathryn had to admit the jeans he was wearing did look good on him.

"We will have to blend in Kathryn, or we will be easy targets for the tradesmen, if you know what I mean?" Tom said alluding to the fact that there were people out there that would sell them to Starfleet for a price.

"Hell some of these guys would sell their own mother, if you were willing to pay enough." Tom continued as Kathryn shook her head in disbelief at what some people would do for money. Something that wasn't even valuable on Earth or most civilized planets.

There was the crux of the issue, they were no longer around civilized people though. It was like being back in the delta quadrant again and Kathryn could feel that old buzz starting in the pit f her stomach.

Maybe Tom was right she was an adrenaline junky? She shook her head knowing that it was just the fact that it had been so long. That she had been kept behind her desk for such a long time now she was getting a school girl head rush at the thought of being out in space once more.

That and she was now wondering how far Starfleet would go to stop them from going on their mission. Whatever Starfleet command new and wasn't telling her must be big. To be coming to her house in the middle of the night and trying to stop them was extreme to say the least. Tom had been speculating as to what they new for the past several hours and Kathryn mind was beginning to wonder. First she thought about how her mother was doing.

She hopped that Admiral Paris wouldn't take her in for questioning, not because Kathryn thought her mom would talk. Far from it. but she was an old woman now whether she would admit it or not and her healthy was not good.

Kathryn was no longer as sure about how far Starfleet would push the frail old woman to make her talk and Kathryn shuddered at the thought.

"It is amazing what war can do to good people." She said and it was a little random for Tom who had not been privy to her previous thought's.

"What? Yeah war can turn people funny." He said now trying to concentrate on what he was doing as his screens and monitors were telling him that there were ships about. Lots of ships.

"War can turn entire planets funny." Kathryn said in a voice which held little emotion and Tom wondered if she had even meant o say that out loud. Before he could ponder that thought any longer the doctor re activated.

"Please state.. never mind, I take it we were not alone last night." The doctor said sitting at the tactical station and looking at the two tired people in the front of the ship.

"Indeed Doctor, at least we remembered you." Tom said turning his head to give the holographic man a smirk as the doc rolled his eyes in response.

"Interesting attire admiral, are we headed for a costume party of some kind?" He said giving Kathryn the once over and she just shrugged from her chair. Too tired to have an early morning argument with him she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly between pursed lips.

"No we are going to find Tom's friends, get this flyer fitted with all the necessary technology, then we are going to complete our mission." She said the slight irritation evident in her voice, but the doctor as ever chose to ignore it.

"And we must dress as vagabonds to do this?" he said and Kathryn lent forward in her chair.

"If we want to live yes." She said standing up and stretching her stiff muscles at being sat down for the past three hours.

"Tom can the doc fly for a while I think we could both use some sleep." She said walking up behind him and squeezing Tom on the shoulder like she had done many times in the past.

"Sure now I have got us out of trade central it should be pretty smooth sailing until we reach the colony." Tom said vacating the pilots chair for the doc to sit in.

"You know I have limited flying experience Admiral, and this ship so, well odd." The doc said eyeballing the controls and giving Tom and Kathryn a sheepish look.

"To be honest doc the auto pilot has it under control, just monitor the area, make sure we are not being followed. Oh and holler if we get shot at." Tom said as he disappeared in to the aft compartment followed by Kathryn who had a small smile on her face.

"Umm will do." The doctor said as he turned back to the controls with raised eyebrows and started humming to himself.

"And no Opera." Tom shouted and the doc closed his mouth with a scowl.

"Philistine" he muttered under his breath as the flyer went completely quite as Tom and Kathryn slept in the bunk beds at the back and the Doctor contemplated what was going to happen next.

There was no shoots fired, there was only quite empty space but Kathryn found that once she had closed her eyes she could not sleep. Alone in her bunk she tossed and turned until she finally realised that it was not the flyer but the lack of company.

She had gotten used to Tom sleeping beside her, he made her feel less like she was in this on her own, that he was right there with her.

It was a odd felling, as she had always been comfortable in her own company, it was only recently that she decided that sharing her thoughts and fears was something good, not something to be frightened of.

Getting out of bed slowly she climbed up on to the bunk Tom was lying in and she was surprised to find him awake.

"We are going to have to do something about your nocturnal activities Kathryn." Tom joked but he made space for her to lye down and she did not hesitate.

"You weren't asleep either Tom so don't give me that." Kathryn said now snuggling into his chest happy to here the sound of his heart beating once more.

"I know." He said also settling down and both finally being able to get some sleep.

Ok I know it is short, but time was of the essence and I wanted to get something up at least.

As ever please review and let me know how you think this story is going, next chapter will be meeting Tom's friends, and getting a surprise they had not bargained for. Good or bad? Review and find out sooner. Thanks for reading XxX


	10. Chapter 10

I know it has been ages. I am sorry for the delay. Please enjoy I apologise for any typing errors in advance but this story is un betared and is likely to stay that way.

Waking up alone once more Tom was getting used to this rushing out of bed. Having gone to sleep holding Kathryn and feeling as much at peace as he had done for a long time. Now he was awakened by the doctors' shrill voice as he called from the pilots' chair. Tom briefly wondered where Kathryn was until he heard the sound of the door to the sonic shower slip open, in obvious response to the doctors' shouts.

"I am coming Doc." Tom said placing his feet on the floor and getting his somewhat stiff legs to take his weight once more.

"Everything ok?" Kathryn asked as she poked her towel clad body out of the door.

"Going to find out now, but the lack of shaking suggest we are not in any imminent danger." Tom smiled at her as Kathryn went back inside the sonic shower, leaving Tom to deal with the blustering doctor.

"Mr Paris, would you kindly get up here and fly this damm machine." He said as soon as Tom walked into the forward section.

"Ok hold your horses, what is the problem?" Tom said as the doctor moved over to the navigation chair and Tom sat down.

"I believe, as you so eloquently put it, we are having a traffic problem." The doctor said as Tom's hands flew over the controls as the flyer now glided passed the ships surrounding it.

"Rush hour I think, anyway this is a good sign, the more people about the less noticeable we will be. I am going to take the flyer and park her on the planet." Tom said as he heard Kathryn walk in and take a seat behind him.

"Do you think that is the safest plan? What if someone were to steal her?" Kathryn asked and Tom noted genuine concern in her voice.

"I will keep her cloaked, plus it's better than having to walk, believe me. Andros gets pretty nippy at night." Tom replied as he declocked the ship just outside the atmosphere of the planet.

"Why are we not remaining invisible, surely it would be a good idea in a federation ship?" The doctor asked a he leaned forward and looked out at the swirling clouds.

"Andros has a sensor net surrounding it, if it detects a cloaking frequency it shoots the ship down." Tom explained as the planets surface came into view.

"Stops pirating." Tom continued as Kathryn smiled at the back of Tom's head and looked over at the doctor.

"I think it's time you blended in doctor." She said pulling on the leather jacket she had left draped over her chair. Giving Tom a brief smile as she did so, Kathryn sat back down behind Tom and crossed her legs.

Just like old times she though as Tom slowed their decent and levelled off. Allowing the flyer to glide across the ground.

"When are we going to make contact with your friends?" She asked as she felt the flyer slow down and finally stop.

The landing was classic Tom, soft and gentle with a reverence for his ship, and a respect for his cargo.

"I sent them a sub space message when we cleared Earth's solar system, they are expecting us Admiral." Tom said swivelling on his chair and giving her a small wink.

"Ok but no more of that, you two start calling me admiral and people are going to catch on pretty quick to who we are." Kathryn said standing up and pulling self consciously at her jacket.

"Ok Kathryn, what about the doc, we can't go around calling him doctor all day." Tom said as the man in blue came up to stand in the centre of the flyer with them.

"How about a name doc, I mean you have had a decade to think of one." Kathryn said as Tom moved forward and opened the aft hatch to let them out.

"I know, nothing ever seemed right. I guess doc was kind of a nick name for me." He said as he fiddled with his emitter and changed his clothes into a T-shirt and jeans. Topped off with a leather jacket he now fit with the image on the planet. Tom smiled at him and clapped him on the back.

"Ok doc it is. We will just say your parents were pretty unimaginative." Tom suggested as they stepped outside and Kathryn had to admit, Tom had not been lying when he had said it was nippy here.

"That or we could say they loved the film snow white and the seven dwarfs." Kathryn said and she couldn't stop the smile from appearing on her face.

"Thank you Kathryn, I am sure yours and Mr Paris's humour will serve you well on this trip to Starfleet's under belly." The doctor commented not seeing the humour in Tom and Kathryn's banter.

"Too right, if you can't laugh at yourself here doc then you better get ready for some serious crying." Tom said as he pushed his way through a gathering crowd of people as dusk descended on Andros.

Kathryn walked through the open doors to the bar and into a haze of smoke. She couldn't believe in this day and age people were still living like this.

Turning her head from left to right she felt like she had walked into one of Tom's recreation bars on the holodeck.

Thinking back now to a time not long after she had sentenced him to the brig, Kathryn had found herself needing to talk to him, to explain her actions. It wasn't just that, it was also selfishly to make herself feel better.

When she had asked for his location she had discovered him in holodeck 2. Thinking he would be at Sandrine's or in fair haven she was shocked to find him in a crowded smoky bar. The music was as dark as those characters which occupied the space and Tom seemed strangely at home in the environment.

As Kathryn now walked through this very real, very smelly dungeon of human existence she tried not to look at the faces of the people who resided here.

It was too late, as she realised her mistake when a hand grabbed her around the wrist and pulled her away from the safety of Tom and the doc.

"Now what is a fine woman like you doing in a hell hole like this?" The man asked towering over her. Using his height advantage to full effect and almost covering her with his body.

"Move out of my way, or you might regret it." Kathryn said squaring her shoulders. Now understanding of this placing clicking in. they had interpreted her low hung head for weakness and now this man was try to take advantage of her.

"Oh I don't think so little lady. I think you are going to do exactly what I tell you." He said taking a step closer to her. Kathryn clenched her fists at her sides. She did not want to start a scene and draw attention to herself. However there was no way she was going to let this sad excuse for a man lay one finger on her.

"You know I am far more dangerous than I look sir, I suggest if you want to see the sun rise tomorrow you back away nice and slow." Kathryn said keeping her voice low and firm. Maintaining eye contact with them man and trying not to vomit at his smell.

"I don't think so you're coming with me." He said grabbing Kathryn around her upper arm and pulling her towards him.

"She said no." Kathryn almost strained her neck at whipping it around so fast at the familiar voice that came from behind her.

People were moving out of the way for the obviously pissed off half Klingon woman. She was shoving people out of her way as she came to stand behind Kathryn as the man let her go.

"What business do you have with her?" The man asked, he had let go of Kathryn but had yet to fully leave. Kathryn glanced at B'lanna then turned her attention back to the man blocking her path.

"Oh I have seven years of back dated wages to collect from her, so if you don't mind." B'lanna said standing next to Kathryn and tilting her jaw up to meet the mans eyes.

"What's going on? Kathryn are you ok?" Tom said pushing back through the crowd followed by the doctor. Kathryn watched as Tom's face paled. His movements slowed until he had come to a dead stop in front of his wife.

"There is more of you? Fine I am out of here." The man who had caused Kathryn's initial problem mumbled as he made his exit. Kathryn didn't even acknowledge his leaving as her eyes darted from B'lanna to Tom and back again.

"B'lanna so nice to see you. What brings you to this lovely part of the galaxy?" the doctor said and Tom breathed a sigh of relief. Trust the doc to break the tension with inane chatter, but right now Tom was very grateful.

"To see my idiot of a husband of course." B'lanna said now moving and beckoning them all to follow her.

B'lanna led them into a small side room, obviously meant for gambling due to the antique card table set up in the centre. Right now though the room was blissfully quite, as B'lanna shut the door and turned to the three people stood in the middle of the room.

"Before you start I was going to call you." Tom said holding up his hands and taking a step forward.

"Of course you were." B'lanna replied and Kathryn could tell the woman was about to explode. Feeling the sudden urge to protect Tom she stepped forward and slightly in front of him.

"It's my fault B'lanna, we had to leave so quickly, it wasn't how we planned it, but that's the way it was. I should have made him call you last night." Kathryn realised that she was babbling. Closing her mouth abruptly she watched as B'lanna's expression did not change. The frown on her face started to deepened and she brought her hand up to rub at her temples.

"So you just decide to flit off in the middle of the night, not so much as a goodbye, for me or your daughter, to go with her to what, kill some Borg!" B'lanna's voice rose as she spoke, her eyes focused on Tom as she said them, as though the other people in the room didn't matter.

Tom guessed in the grand scheme of things they didn't. he glanced at Kathryn who was now standing right next to him and he was grateful not for the first time for her presence.

"Look B'lanna this could be very important, what we are going to do could save Earth." Tom started; he didn't want to make excuses for not telling her. He was in the wrong there and there was no point trying to deny it.

"Why you Tom?" B'lanna stated she seemed slightly deflated now, Tom could see she was tired, probably travelling for the past few days, worrying about him?

"Because Kathryn asked me, and I wanted to go." Tom said knowing that for B'lanna Kathryn's requests were not high on her priority list.

"I see, well excuse me but I don't think that is the best reason for leaving your family, knowing you might not be coming back, on some suicide mission." Tom had heard that tone of voice before. B'lanna was on the verge of angry tears, weather she was angry at herself for crying or angry at him for making her cry Tom did not know.

Once again it was Kathryn who placed herself in between them.

"B'lanna, please we know the risks, we all knew the risks seven years ago but we kept on fighting, always pushing for home, and look we made it. If we stop taking the risks, stop fighting then it could all have been for nothing." Kathryn was close enough now that she had reached forward and placed a tentative hand on B'lanna's shoulder. Kathryn was happy that she had yet to pull away, and was now finally looking at her.

"What if you're wrong, and there is nothing out there, you will both be coming back for a court martial. Worse what if your right and you come back in a wooden box, what will I tell Miral?" Now the tears fell and Kathryn had the urge to let the lump in her throat over take her for a moment when the doctor coughed.

"Then I guess we will have gone down fighting." He said coming over to both women. Only Tom was now left standing alone in the centre of the room. He felt like he should go over to the group but his feet would not move. It almost felt like false emotions were swelling inside of him. He hated to see B'lanna cry, but he didn't want to comfort her either. Too much had been said and done by both of them for this moment to be anything but awkward for them both.

"How did you know what had happened?" Tom asked finding his voice still worked as Kathryn stepped back slightly away from B'lanna.

"Your father called me, asked me to talk some sense into you." She said wiping her wet face on the sleeve of her tunic.

"So you came running at his request? How did you know where I would be?" Tom replied feeling anger wash over him again now as Kathryn reached out and patted his arm.

"Tom" Her voice warned slightly as Kathryn noticed quickly that the situation was volatile and B'lanna could blow the whistle on them very quickly if she so intended.

"I know you Tom, you forget that sometimes. I knew if you needed something done on the quite you would come here." B'lanna replied now taking a seat at the card table. All the emotions over the last couple of days finally getting the better of her.

"What about Miral is she ok?" Tom asked taking the seat opposite her and allowing his voice to remain calm.

"She is fine, everyone on the Dauntless loves her and they are taking good care of her." Tom knew this to be true he had lived on the ship for six months and he was confident that his daughter was being well looked after.

"I hate to ask this B'lanna but have you come to take us back, or tell Starfleet where we are?" Kathryn asked after a moment's silence. She couldn't hold back any longer on the question. A lot was riding on the next few days, B'lanna's presence complicated matters.

"I did, well I was just going to drag Tom back kicking and screaming if I had to, but I don't know now." She said as she levelled her eyes with her former captain and pursed her lips.

"No, if this is what tom wants then I lost the right to interfere a long time ago." B'lanna said looking briefly at Tom who was nodding in his agreement.

"But Tom please call your daughter before you leave, if it is the last thing you ever do for me, do that." Her voice was not harsh, her eyes were clear and Tom heard the goodbye in it. it was far more civilised than he ever imagined it could have been.

"I will, I promise." He said and he meant it. He knew there was only so long you could ignore one woman's advice let alone two.

"Good now that is settled how are you getting back." The doctor chimed in as he perched on the edge of the table.

"Same way I came in a trade ship, it is due to leave in a few hours, I was lucky not to have been here five days." B'lanna said standing once more, causing everyone else to rise with her.

"Oh? So you didn't track us in anyway?" Kathryn said her heart warmed slightly by the knowledge.

"No I took a chance, and low and behold, not three hours after I get here, who walks in the door but you three. Getting into trouble as usual." B'lanna said with a smirk on her face that she directed at Kathryn.

"What are you going to tell them when you get back?" Kathryn asked as she pulled open the door and let the noise of the bar wash over them once more.

"I will say I couldn't find you." B'lanna said turning slightly so she could look Kathryn in the eyes.

"You be carful, no throwing your life away for a institution that only wants to see you in a court room." B'lanna said as she brushed Kathryn's fingers with her own before she disappeared into the crowd and was enveloped by the smoke that seemed to hang low in the air.

"If that wasn't a green light then I don't know what is." Tom said coming up behind Kathryn and placing his hand on her shoulder. The reverse of their usual positions and Kathryn had to crane her neck back to look at him.

"I guess so, now where are these friends of yours?" Kathryn said breaking the moment and turning almost all the way around scanning the bar.

"There" Tom said pointing to two men hunched up against the bar, both protecting what looked like ale and not making eye contact with anyone.

"Look like friendly folk." The doctor commented as they approached the men.

"Keeping a low profile around here is never a bad thing." Tom said as they reached their destination and one of the men looked up in interest.

"Tom Paris, long time old friend." The taller of the two men said as both stood to shake hands with Tom.

"Riley you old goat, I see time has not tempered you passion for the ale." Tom replied giving the man a hearty pat on the back.

"I like to think of it as medicine." Riley replied as Tom turned to the shorter man and took his hand.

"Geoffrey, are you ever going to ditch this guy for that life on Risa you were always telling me about." Tom chuckled and Kathryn had to admit the men did have friendly smiles now they had met them, but she wasn't going to be letting her guard down any time soon.

"I guess my fate was sealed the moment I helped him out of that brine prison." Geoffrey replied as his eyes fell on Kathryn and he smiled.

"Now who is this?" He said offering his hand to Kathryn, out of politeness Kathryn shook the mans hand but was surprised when he lowered his mouth and kissed the back of it.

"This is someone you don't want to be messing with Geoffrey, she would eat you for dinner." Tom said moving closer to Kathryn and if she didn't know any better she would say he was puffing his chest out.

"Pleased to meet you ma'am, I am Riley and this loathsome toad is Geoffrey, may I suggest we talk more once we are out of ear shot, from anyone who might be interested in what we are saying." Riley said as he briefly shook Kathryn's hand and turned for the door. Downing his ale as he went.

"Good idea, I have to say though the place hasn't changed much over the last fifteen years." Tom said as they all walked though a door at the rear of the club and out in to somewhat fresh air.

"If it aint broke don't fix it." Geoffrey commented and the doctor raised an eyebrow.

"What a curious saying." He said under his breath slightly as they walked along the quite streets until they came to a small building and stopped.

"We will stay here for the night then move on to our place in the morning." Riley said as he pushed open the door and they followed him up the narrow passageway in to a small room.

"How come, we could go right now, I have our ship if transport is a problem." Tom said as he eyed the small slightly dirty room and glanced at Kathryn who was not looking at her most comfortable.

"Because we are being watched Mr Paris, and we need supplies. No here tonight, get out in the morning." Riley said throwing Tom a pillow and pointing towards a room in the corner.

"Watched by whom?" Kathryn said now feeling a little alarmed; she had no desire to flee in the middle of the night again.

"By no one you need concern yourself with, now if you and Tom want to use the bedroom it will give you some privacy." Kathryn didn't miss the mans leer and she had to stop a frown from forming on her face. Luckily Tom spoke up before she could say anything she might regret later.

"That's great thanks guys. Doc why don't you use the chair." Tom said subtly Tryon to tell the man that he should not deactivate, that these men would take his mobile emitter given half the chance.

To his credit the doctor nodded his head and did a good show of getting comfortable in the chair as if preparing for sleep.

"Good night, Tom, Kathryn." He said as Kathryn followed Tom into the dark room and she could already smell the mildew.

"You know I am beginning to wonder if this is all worth it." Kathryn said as she climbed into the bed but dared not go under the sheets.

"It will be, their place on the fifth moon is lovely, well from what I remember anyway." Tom said wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. The position now as familiar as his favourite pair of shoes.

"You know in the end it will be worth it." Tom added sleepily, but Kathryn had already dozed off. Tom gave her a long look in the darkness of the room and sighed, allowing sleep to claim him once more.


	11. Chapter 11

Again so slow with the updates but my life has been busy busy and not in a good way. Thank you for your patients.

Kathryn woke up and stretched her body to find herself alone in the bed. Sitting up suddenly she looked around the room, now bathed in a soft light coming through the window. No Tom, this was strange, she was always the first up, the thought of him not being there worried her far more than she would admit, even to herself.

Getting up quickly now she opened the door to the room and poked her head out. Finding it deserted she walked across the room to the window and looked down on the street below.

The low set of the sun told her it was still early, and the absence of anyone on the street told her it was really early. Not unusual, she always seemed to wake at the crack of dawn no matter where she was. The fact that she was apparently alone however bothered her greatly.

Tuning back to scan the room for any sign's of her companions whereabouts' her eyes finally fell on a PADD lying neatly on the dilapidated coffee table.

Picking it up she smiled at Tom's obvious attempt at half asleep humour.

"Gone fishing, back soon." Was all it read, but it was all she needed, knowing it was from Tom and that he was probably getting something to eat made her feel slightly better.

That and the fact that he had not left her alone with his old friends. Kathryn was yet to make up her mind about these people from Tom's past, but for now, if he trusted them then so would she.

Moving into what looked like the kitchen Kathryn searched the cupboards for something to drink. Preferably coffee, but juice would be ok. Finding nothing she slammed the last door as people walked in the front one.

"Ha I told you she would be up and on the prowl for coffee, pay up doc." Tom said as he walked into the kitchen and waved the bag of goodies he had at her.

"Fine, but I expect a rematch when the opportunity arises." The doctor said handing over something to Tom which Kathryn could not quite see.

"Making bets on me again Mr Paris, I thought I told you about that a long time ago." Kathryn said playfully as she grabbed the bag out of his hand and found coffee and fruit inside.

"I think I can forgive you this time though." She said as he smiled back at her as she took out the cup of coffee and handed him back the bag.

"Why thank you Ma'am." He said pulling out what looked like an apple, but Kathryn suspected it was noting like an apple. When Tom bit into it and the purple juice ran down his chin her suspicions were confirmed.

"Where are your friends?" Kathryn said after a few moments of enjoying their breakfast in silence while the doctor brooded over his loss to Tom.

"Gone to get some supplies we will need. I doubt they will be gone long, they are as eager to leave as we are." Tom said looking at her over their top of his own coffee and Kathryn couldn't help the narrow of her eyes.

"I don't like it that they seem so nervous." She said and Tom shook his head.

"It's not our problem, the people after them are people they own money too, not anyone interested in us. After we pay them for their work I am sure they will be in the clear anyway." Tom said and Kathryn could not detect any hint of deception in Tom's voice and she allowed herself to relax slightly.

It wasn't long before Geoffrey and Riley returned, they swooped into the room looking from face to face and both Tom and Kathryn noticed that something was wrong.

"How far away is your ship Tom old buddy?" Riley asked as Geoffrey went to the window and checked the outside.

"Not far ten minute walk." Tom said standing up, feeling the urgency coming off the pair in waves. It was obvious that Kathryn felt it too as she was also on her feet.

"Then I suggest we go now." Riley continued as Geoffrey came back over to the front door and led the way down.

None of them needed telling twice. Tom followed Kathryn through the door, and the doc brought up the rear.

Checking the street as they went Tom saw no one. But there were plenty of side streets for people to hide down, and Tom was not going to hang around a check.

Almost breaking into a run as they cleared the main part of the town Tom guided them towards the flyer. He remembered where he had hid it by the formation of the rocks surrounding it. Pressing the remote the flyer declocked and the aft door opened, they all filed on to the flyer quickly. Tom taking the pilots seat and Kathryn not hesitating to sit next to him.

The doctor shits behind while their two newest members hover in the aft compartment checking behind them to see if the coast is still clear.

"I suggest Tom if you can forgo any checks to do that." Geoffrey said and Tom noted the slight panic in his voice as he threw at quick glance at Kathryn but she was not looking at him. Tom followed her eyes line out of the front window and watched as movement in the trees alerted him to the fact that someone was out there.

Thinking he would be having a pretty strong word with Riley and Geoff when they got out of here Tom cranked up the flyers engines and took off.

"Nice Tom, now head for the outer moon, we had to relocate somewhat." Riley said now coming forward and patting Tom on the shoulder briefly. He also avoided Kathryn glare but only for a moment.

"What the hell was that all about?" Kathryn said grabbing hold of Riley's arm and holding him in a vice like grip. Tom was well aware of the woman's surprising strength but Riley was not. He almost stumbled backwards at the intensity of Kathryn glare only to find himself wedge in between the console and Tom's chair.

"Umm look, we are kind of in dept, slightly to the wrong guys. I don't think they would have taken your ship for payment, by why take the chance a." He said finally stuttering slightly as he glanced at to for support but none was coming.

"Take a seat Mr Riley I expect you need one." Kathryn said her tone cold as Tom tried to hold in a smile and failed as Kathryn gave him a quick glance.

The flight to the outer moon surrounding Andros was thankfully uneventful. Kathryn noticed the change in their two newest passengers as they began to relax as they got closer to their home.

Tom landed the flyer with ease once again and Kathryn along with the Doc and Tom's old friends departed while Tom flew the flyer carefully into the workshop and powered down the engines.

"Excellent job Tommy boy. Not that you're a boy any more, I forget it has been a very long time since we last saw each other, the lines on your face grow almost as deep as mine." Riley said, much to Kathryn's bit not Tom's amusement.

"Thanks Riley, now how long do you think it will take to get these modifications sorted?" He asked tuning back to look at the workshop. It was old, slightly dusty with a faint and lingering smell of old motor oil. Tom suspected that the pair of them had been tinkering with things they shouldn't have been. It was in working order though, tools from every part of the Alpha quadrant lined the walls. Parts from a hundred different ships rested in draws, sinks and cupboards. Tom also knew that appearances were often deceiving. Riley and Geoffrey may have looked like unkempt street urchins but they were two of the finest engineers he had ever worked with. Second to only one person, B'lanna.

"I reckon two days, maybe if you shut up and leave us alone, we can have it done in one and a half." Riley said clapping Tom on the back and escorting him into the main house. Tom checked behind him to find Kathryn almost on his shoulder the doc not far behind.

"For now I suggest we get something to eat. I don't know about you but I am starving from all that running. Geoffrey said casting his grin all around the table and finally settling it on Kathryn who smiled back. Tom could see the falseness behind it but Geoffrey took it at face value and smiled back.

"Good roll out the pasta." He said dramatically walking over to the replicator and pushing some buttons.

Tom caught Kathryn eye roll as the doc excused himself, claiming that the getaway in the flyer had given him a case of space sickness. Not wanting either of Tom's friends to catch on to the fact that he was a hologram the Doc made quick his retreat.

"Oh well more for us then." Riley said as he dug into the pasta as Tom and Kathryn watched on in slight amusement.

As night slowly fell and the clattering and banging died down from the workshop Tom looked out of the window at the planet that filled the space beyond.

"You think this has all been worth it so far Tom?" Kathryn asked from behind him. They hadn't even questioned the fact that they were sharing a room. So used to it now, it was hared for either of them to sleep without the other.

"What we haven't done anything yet." Tom said turning and leaning back against the window frame.

"Oh no, stealing the doctor, running from Starfleet. Getting B'lanna to lie for us. I would call that a pretty healthy string of things we have done." Kathryn replied from her position over on the bed. Tom couldn't see her face, she was bathed in shadows but her recognised the tone. She was searching for an absolution that he couldn't provide. Her resolve crumbling in the darkness as it often did.

Face Kathryn Janeway with danger and she would act, questioning later weather it was wise or not. Give her time to think and she would question the questions.

"I think we have yet to see if it has all been worth it." Tom replied as he made his way back over to the bed. Sinking his weight down on it he allowed the soft mattress to take his weight as he collapsed on to his back and placed his hands behind his head.

"Even if we find the Borg and manage to destroy them."

"That would be worth it." Tom interrupted her and Kathryn playfully slapped his arm.

"Let me finish, what says they wont send more ships, adapt to the technology and come after us with even more force?" She said laying next to him now and laying her head on his chest. Tom didn't hesitate in allowing his arm to wrap around her shoulder as she got comfortable.

"There is no way of knowing, but we went into that transwarp hub two years ago knowing exactly what we were doing. It didn't stop you then, why the pause now?" Tom asked as Kathryn sat up slightly resting her weight on her elbow.

Trying to catch his eye Kathryn looked down at Tom and finally managed to really look at him in the darkness. She still saw the respect there in his eyes, even now, even in this dark foreign place where she has no more command over him, than he does of her. The respect he has for her is still the first thing she sees when she looks him in the eye.

"Because I was trying to get us all home then, it was worth the risk." She said finally as Tom copied her position. Sitting up resting on his elbow so that he was facing her. Their faces mere inches apart. Close enough so that Tom's breath moved the hair at the side of her neck with his every exhale.

"This time you are trying to save Earth, what could be more important than that?" Tom asked and Kathryn dropped her gaze.

"I am just not sure if it is worth saving anymore Tom." She replied after a brief pause and she couldn't believe she had said it. the words rolling of her tongue like she was speaking about the weather.

To his credit Tom didn't react adversely, or start jumping around for joy. He regarded her with those deep blue eyes quietly until she had to give in a say something.

"Ok I don't want to see Earth blown up, maybe just Starfleet head quarters." She said a slight smirk on her face as Tom's smile spread from ear to ear.

"Now your starting to come around, wont be long before I have you poisoning the coffee." Tom said as they resumed their previous positions. Kathryn laid her head on his chest once more and listened to his heart beet.

"I would never do that to the poor coffee." She replied as sleep took over and she missed Tom's quite chuckle.


	12. Chapter 12

I am very sorry that this story has taken me so long to update. The plot failed me somewhat and I didn't want to post for the sake of it. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and encouraged me to continue it really helped with the motivation.

Kathryn awoke to an empty bed, the noises coming from downstairs though immediately told her where she could find Tom and the doctor. Smiling slightly catching only snippets of conversation she could however tell that they were in a debate. Getting up out of bed and stretching her tired muscles Kathryn sneered a bit at her protesting body.

"You're not that old yet girl." She said to herself refusing to acknowledge that physical exercise like the type she had recently endure did take a tool on her body. Putting it down to a recent lack of activity rather than her advancing years. Pulling out a pair of loos fitting pants and a deep purple shirt Kathryn merely ran a brush though her hair and clipped it back. A quick glance in the mirror told her she was presentable enough and she headed downstairs.

When Tom had woken up, Kathryn had been so peaceful he didn't want to disturb her. She had been awake half the night tossing and turning in her sleep, probably fighting the Borg in her dreams and Tom could do nothing but pull her closer to him and attempt to make her feel safe within the circle of his arms. She had quietened down soon after that relaxing in his warm embrace and when he woke she was still there. Getting up quietly Tom wanted to see how the boys were getting along and if they needed a hand.

Making his way to the work shop he found them under the flyers hull obviously working on the shielding and he smiled.

"Coffee anyone?" He called as two heads shot up and called their affirmative. Tom had gone back to the kitchen where he found the doctor scrutinizing a PADD and had been distracted by the medical man's mutterings.

"What's up doc?" Tom said chuckling at his private joke than no one else alive would probably understand as the doc raised his eyes and scowled at him.

"This is the problem, the course you have plotted is several hundred light years out of our way, they could fly right passed us to Earth and we wouldn't have a clue." The doctor said and Tom shook his head.

"No you see I did that because the Borg are not likely to come in straight at us, remember they think we have technology that can destroy them." Tom said logically as he went to the replicator and ordered four cups of coffee. Knowing Kathryn would be up as soon as she smelt the aroma he thought he would pre-empt her.

"What that doesn't make sense the Borg are not exactly known for their subtlety, usually it all resistance if futile and you will be assimilated. Not stealthy back door attacks. These aren't Cardassians Commander." The Doctor said his eyes fixed on Tom as though searching for the real answer like it was written on his forehead.

"Look I am just going to take these coffee's out to Riley and Geoff, we can talk about this later. If we don't get the flyer up and running this will all be a moot point anyway." Tom said as Kathryn walked down the stairs and immediately looked at the cups in Tom's hands.

"Yours is on the table." He said a smile curving his lips as Kathryn inclined her head towards him and made a bee line for the beverage. Tom left her alone with the Doc as he took the hot coffee to his friends. He was now eager to get going, the last part of their journey was almost within reach now and he could almost smell the excitement in the air.

"So what were you and Tom discussing." Kathryn opened with, she didn't want to use the word argue, although the doc was not famous for his sugar coating of situations, he also had an ego that rivalled that of a Romulan.

"Mr Paris's flight plan is strange, in fact I would go as far as saying it was wrong." The doc said handing Kathryn the PADD and watching while she skimmed over it. The Doctor tried to read his former Captain's expression but with limited success. He had prided himself in recent years for becoming much more aware of other people's feelings, of first observing others behaviour and then reacting to it. Kathryn Janeway however was a mystery to most, let alone a hologram who's efforts to become more understanding was still in its early stages.

"You see what I mean?" the doc said taking a chance, knowing above everything Kathryn was a great tactician and this was not a good tactical flight path. Kathryn merely took a sip of her coffee and laid the PADD down on the table. Not meeting the Doctor's gaze she pondered just why Tom would have chosen this route. Figuring it was probably best to ask him straight out she finally levelled her eyes with her former CMO and gave him a half smile.

"I think I will see how they are getting on in the work shop." She said and the doc knew a brush off when he heard one. He might not breathe real air but he was no idiot either.

"Admiral, you asked me to come along and be part of your crew, I agreed knowing that you wouldn't have asked me to come if you didn't need and want me with you. All I ask is that you don't keep things from me, not only because I think I deserve better from you but it could prove to be important at a later date." He said now standing in front of her, not blacking her exit but giving her pause to think about what he had said. Kathryn had to admit he was right. He did deserve better than to be pushed aside like some piece of machinery. She had asked him to come along initially because he was the one with the most knowledge of the technology they were using. But it was more than that really, she trusted him both as a person and a doctor. He was also far more useful than she would ever admit to him out loud, even if it was just to keep is ego in check.

"Ok Doctor your right." Kathryn said with a small sigh as Tom walked back into the room carry only one cup of coffee now as he looked at the serious faces surrounding him.

"Ok who died" He said trying to break the tension but all he got was a raised eyebrow and a pair of hands on hops from Kathryn.

"To why did you choose this path?" she asked getting right down to business after all it was what she was good at. Plus they had known each other far too long for pleasantries. She did however managed to keep the accusing tone out of her voice, knowing that Tom probably did have a good reason for going so far of course but she just couldn't see it. Tom froze abruptly tensing his muscles, he didn't want to have this conversation now, he was hoping to tell her once they were back on the flyer. It meant she had less chance of kicking him out the air lock. Although when it came to Kathryn that could still have been a possibility.

"Ok now if I tell you, you have to remember one thing, we are no longer Starfleet officers." Tom said making his way over to the table and taking a seat. Hinting to Kathryn and the Doctor that they should do the same. Kathryn took the hit and knew that she probably wasn't going to like this, but she should at least hear him out.

"Tom that is not strictly true, I may not be wearing the uniform, but I still stand by the prime directive." Kathryn said a stern look in her eyes but Tom ignored it. If she wanted to have this conversation now then so be it.

"No Kathryn you don't, you have broken more rules on this one trip than you did in seven years on board Voyager. You held up the directive there because it kept us together, you also broke it when you knew we could get home." Tom said his voice becoming stronger as he saw her face soften somewhat in the knowledge that he was at least half way right.

"Ok so what is it Tom?" Kathryn said getting slightly impatient at his dramatic pause as the Doctor raised his eyebrows at her obvious frustration.

"I know a Frengi on the outer planet of Ida he has a Romulan cloak for sale. I said we were interested in purchasing it." Tom said now his voice wavered realising that he had gone behind her back because she was likely to say no.

"A cloak now that would be worth a few light years out of our way." It was the doctor that spoke up first and although it was not the approval Tom was looking for he did appreciate the support. Kathryn was still silent, her eyes down cast into her empty coffee cup as though the answers were written there.

"A cloak?" it was a question, like she had never even heard of such a technology although Tom knew that wasn't true. He took it to mean she wanted to know what type of cloak and if it would protect them from the Borg sensors.

"From a war bird, scaled down to fit the flyer it should provide us with almost complete protection from their sensors. Kathryn we have to operate on the assumption that they may have adapted to the new technology. We know they have encountered it before, and there is that every possibility." Tom said and this time Kathryn nodded openly, she had been having nightmares to that end ever since she and Tom had discussed this mission the first night.

"We also know that Borg ships do not fly around with their shields raised, there usual ignorance of anything they find unthreatening is often their down fall. We have managed to thwart them on many occasions using such a technique." The doctor said now getting fully on board with Tom's idea, not really seeing why Kathryn was so against it. It wasn't like Starfleet had never used a cloak before. In fact when they signed the recent treaty with the Klingons they had shared their cloaking technology with them. Fitting several ships with the devices then used in the battle with the dominion.

"I know and you're right a cloak would be a prudent measure." Kathryn said not exactly giving her approval but not saying no either. Tom looked at the doctor and he shrugged as Kathryn walked passed them and out in to the bright sunshine in the moons early morning glow.

"What do you think that meant?" Tom said to the Doc who went back to sitting at the table and picking up a new PADD he gave Tom one last look.

"I am a doctor not a mind reader I suggest you go and ask her yourself." With that Tom decided to do just as the doctor suggested, it wasn't like he had anywhere else to be right now, and he hated it when he fought with Kathryn. Not that that was any kind of fight. He thought as he walked along a path way hoping to catch up with his enigmatic admiral. Perhaps he thought that was what was bothering him. There was no shouting about him going behind her back, no sermon about illegally procuring a cloak from a race that was not exactly friendly with the federation right now. If they got caught not only disobeying orders going on this mission, but with a Romulan cloaking device on board to boot. There would be no judge in the federation that wouldn't court-martial them on the spot. Kathryn knew this and all she had said was that it would be a prudent measure. Hardly something the straight edged Kathryn Janeway would say, when dealing with not only a dangerous but criminal act. Turning a corner and spotting her sat on a rock that over looked a valley Tom paused for a second. Just looking at her was something he got to do rarely unless she was asleep, but then his mind wondered to other things, she was different in sleep either peaceful or haunted. Never like she was now her sharp mind alert and thinking about what he had said. Her hand came up to brush a stray lock of hair from her face. She pushed it back behind her ear with two elegant fingers and Tom had to shake himself. When had he been so interested in her fingers? Moving forward now not wanting to get caught like some weirdo lurking in the bushes he almost had a heart attack when she spoke.

"I shocked you back there, believe me I shocked myself." Kathryn said having heard Tom's approach and obvious scrutiny of her as soon as he walked through the trees behind her. She had let him stand there and look, she wasn't ashamed of herself, nor was she overly concerned with her appearance right now. Kathryn knew when Tom was done he would move towards her wanting to talk. Why else would he have followed her out here? As soon as she heard him approach she once again got straight down to business. She knew she would have shocked him with her voice as she was fairly sure he was unaware of her knowledge of his presence. The stop in the sound of his footfalls was enough to tell Kathryn she had succeeded in surprising him. Still she did not turn around to look at him, she didn't need to see his eyes to tell him this. She already knew he was shocked certainly, but maybe even a little disappointed. She had at least tried to set an example for her crew, she had been the thin red line in what they could and couldn't do. A line which she had bent over the years but hadn't crossed. It angered them sometimes, slowed their progress home, but it also gave them a clear cut sense of right and wrong. It was what had stopped them from becoming like Captain and the Equinox crew. Now she was willing to not only bend that line but drop it completely in favour of completing their mission. Tom's next words almost surprised her as much as her own had done back in the kitchen.

"Not really, I had just prepared a brilliant argument for why we should go for the cloak, I was a little disappointed is all." He said a smile in his voice as he sank down next to her and brushed her shoulder with his own. Kathryn couldn't help but smile at that. She had known for a long time that Tom was different to most officers, he didn't see everything in black and white, but almost infinite shades of grey.

"You have to know Kathryn that is doesn't make me respect you any less. A good officer is not measured by how well they follow the rules, it is by their heart. You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known." Tom said now turning to look at her and Kathryn could not ignore his piercing gaze. He was right, she knew that herself, the best people she had ever had the honour of serving with were those willing to do anything for their shipmates and their ship. That was why Voyager had been so special to them both, it wasn't about following rules and staying within boundaries it was about the heart and following it all the way back to home.

"You know you have gotten very wise in your old age Tom Paris." Kathryn said with a smirk as Tom bristled slightly, giving a small upwards glance to his thinning hair and then looking pointedly at her.

"If you would like to keep the ability to farther further children I suggest you do not say what you are thinking right now Tom." Kathryn said as she watched Tom's mouth slam shut, knowing full well it would not be below her to carry out her threat. Kathryn's smile rose on her face as she patted his knee and stood up.

"Come on what do you say we find out how close we are to getting off this moon." Kathryn said standing up and smiling down at Tom. The sun behind her cast her in a kind of halo and Tom wondered if that was what angels looked like but pushed the thought aside as she offered him her hand to help his rise. Taking it Tom held on to her hand as they walked back to the house, he knew that soon walks in the forest would soon be over as the last leg of their journey began.

Hope that was worth the wait? As ever please review if you would like more and I will promise to update faster in the future. Thanks for reading XxX


	13. Chapter 13

I know it has been months and all I can do is say sorry, but please read and enjoy this next instalment, I hope it was worth the wait.

Approaching the house once more, both Kathryn and Tom stopped almost simultaneously. They both knew something was different but neither of them could put their finger on what it was exactly. Tom looked down at Kathryn but she was not looking at him at all. Her gaze was directed at the house. Her head tilted slightly to the side, the sun's rays causing her to squint slightly in its glare. It only seemed to add to her look of confusion.

They seemed to have stood there in silence for what felt like forever and the blink of an eye all at once, until Tom broke the silence with an epiphany.

"They've finished, that or their on another break, but I doubt it." Tom said a small grin appearing on his face as Kathryn turned to him slowly, her eyes seeking his for a moment before she too cracked a small smile. Over the past few weeks they had been used to hiding, running from those they had once called their friends. Now they were on their own and paranoia was starting to rear its ugly head. The change was only the silence they had been greeted with upon their return. Used to constant banging and clanging coming from the workshop, they had immediately wondered what was wrong when they returned. Ready to engage anyone who had come from them, or to form an appropriate escape route.

Now both feeling slightly foolish for their mistake, Kathryn and Tom walked back up to the house. Silently deciding not to mention their little wobble outside. Pushing the door open that lead directly to the kitchen. Tom allowed Kathryn to enter first having to give his eyes a second to adjust to the change in light he spotted the Doctor at the kitchen table immediately.

"Finally I was beginning to wonder of you had been eaten by the local wildlife." He said as Kathryn joined him at the table. Tom walked round to the opposite side and perched on a stool next to the former COM.

"I am afraid to disappoint you Doc, but I am not sure there is any wildlife on this moon." Tom said giving the hologram a cheeky grin. The Doctor chose to ignore Tom's predictable attempts at humour and turned back to the Admiral. He couldn't help but notice that she looked tired, and not the kind of tired one got when they simply did not get enough sleep. She had a dulled look in her eyes, as though she were a galaxy away, but whatever her mind was currently pondering was not happy times.

Kathryn seemed to realise that she was being watched and moved her gaze upwards from the chipped wood of the kitchen table and settled on those of the Doctor. His face was a mask of concern and excitement. She supposed when you did not know of the burden of command, it was easy to see anything as an adventure. The reality of this mission had finally lowered its weight on to Kathryn's shoulder's. No longer was this some far away notion that had no hope of coming to fruition. It was real and it was now, she could of course stop right here. Turn back for earth and attempt to explain herself to the Admiralty and hope they forgave her. Kathryn knew Tom and the Doctor's involvement could easily be explained away as simply following orders, to this point at least.

She didn't know how Tom knew what she had been thinking, it may have been some fleeting expression to cross her face, or the way she was standing, but as she felt his hand land gently on her shoulder she did consider the irony for a moment as he spoke.

"Kathryn don't even think about quitting now. If there is one thing I have learnt about you over the years it's that you are no quitter." Tom said his voice soft almost a whisper and Kathryn was sure the Doctor was tuning his audio sensors to maximum in order to hear what was being said.

"Maybe, but I was always working for the good of our crew, or for the good of the Federation. Now all I am doing is trying to settle some old score, and dragging you two along for the ride." She said her self-doubt had never been higher than at this moment. The original idea of going off in a ship and meeting the Borg fleet alone, letting them know they still had a weapon to destroy them had seemed heroic, even necessary in the light of Starfleet's continuing denial of the possibility that they were in fact coming.

Now caution seemed like the better part of valour, biding their time and meeting the Borg in their own territory did have its advantages. Plus her career would still be on track, and the lives of her crew mates no longer in danger. It was then Kathryn thought about how her life had been before that, not only hers but also Tom's. How she had found him alone, in a job he liked but was his only distraction. Then the Doctor, his face when she had asked him to join them. The pure excitement of getting out of Starfleet headquarters, being useful again. She had not threatened them in anyway, or even had to do much persuading for that matter, but she couldn't decide if it was because they thought it was the right thing to do. Or because it was she who had asked them to do it.

"If I may say something." The Doctor spoke up pulling Kathryn out of her thoughts and back to reality she looked over at him and watched as he stood up. She could tell this was going to be one of those speeches. And whether it was because in a slightly masochistic way or just that she had simply missed the Doctors long winded speeches Kathryn couldn't help but smile.

"I believe that we are still working for the good of the Federation, many of them still have their heads well and truly buried on the sand concerning the matter of the Borg. We faced them in battle on many occasions, yet all my attempts to convince Starfleet that steps should be taken to use the technology given to us have been denied. I say if they won't help themselves then why shouldn't we do it for them." He said turning towards them abruptly placing his hands firmly on the table as he finished his sentence. He regarded them both for a moment before Tom spoke up.

"Here here." He said and a small smile appeared on the Doctor's face. It was in that moment that Kathryn realised where her self-doubt had been coming from. As Captain of voyager she had always had that doubt, but circumstances and the Prime directive had always provided her with the correct answer eventually. Only once had she made a decision that was based on gut feeling and heart alone. That was to use the trans warp conduit and get her crew home safe and sound. It was that decision that had lead them here. To this kitchen on this bright day, with two of her finest officers, and this time the Prime directive was the one thing standing in her way.

"This was your plan Kathryn, and if you want to quit now I guess we will have to live with that, but you know deep down that we have to at least try, even if it only means we can warn Starfleet about an invasion then so be it." Tom said his hand still rested upon her shoulder, its presence there meant to give her support just like she had done so many times for him on the bridge of Voyager. Kathryn also knew that Tom was right, they had come so far. She was sure it would not all be plain sailing from this moment on, but she was never one to do things by half measures.

"I need to know something, and I want you to answer me honestly, both of you." Kathryn said giving them each a pointed look in turn. The Doctor made to protest about his moral engrams, but his mouth closed quickly at Kathryn's look.

"I need to know that you are not just doing this because I order you to, that this is something you believe is right. I will not have you risk your lives and your career's out of some kind of misguided obligation to me." There she had said it and now she knew the conclusion of this mission hung on this answer. It was truly the one thing stopping her from moving on, for her own life was hers to risk, bit not that of her companions.

"At first I was sceptical about this plan, you convinced me that it was the right thing to do. I now see that it is the only choice. Starfleet may not want us fiddling with the Borg situation, but I think they are wrong. I want to do this Kathryn, not just for you but for everyone." Tom said and he squeezed her shoulder slightly causing her to look at him. His smile was genuine and the look in her eyes told her that he was telling the truth.

"What do you say Doc?" Tom asked turning now to the hologram who was patiently for once waiting his turn.

"I say fiddle on." He said in a uncharacteristic lack of words, but at this moment it seemed appropriate. It was at that moment when there was really nothing more to say that Geoff and Riley came back into the kitchen and looked at all the serious faces.

"Did you want us to give you guys a minute?" Geoff said, truly worried that they had walked in at a private moment. Tom shook his head quickly and removed his hand from Kathryn shoulder, he didn't know why but he suddenly felt awkward touching her in that manner.

"No no, so I take it you're finished with the flyer." He asked as Riley went over to the replicator and got himself a cup of coffee.

"Oh yes, and I think Tommy boy you are going to like what we have done with her." Riley said as he blew on his coffee to cool it.

"Well then don't keep me in suspense lets go and take a look at her." Tom said giving the chair next to him a quick slap and causing everyone to look at him. Kathryn could see the old Tom for a moment, the one who used to sit in front of her and get that look in his eyes every time he got to fly Voyager into some difficult situation. She was glad he could still find that place inside himself, still smile and enjoy life. Kathryn hoped that one day she would find that kind of peace to.

The modifications that Geoff and Riley had made were even better than Tom had hoped for. The armour was fully fitted and had a voice activation system included. The pilots seat had been made person specific, which mean whomever was flying the ship the seat adjusted to their body shape and movements. The sleeping quarters had been made slightly bigger, the sonic shower was no longer a small closet but a good sized room including a wash basin. The modifications were made with some comfort in mind. They would be traveling for up to a year before they encountered any Borg. Their journey may in fact be far shorter, but it didn't hurt to plan for a lengthy journey. The hold had been reduced in size to accommodate the larger living quarters, but this was not a problem, they would be taking no supplies with them except emergency gear. They all knew this mission would end one of two ways. Either they encountered the Borg and died. Or they found them and won. In both cases, survey equipment and bulky shore leave gear were not required.

"I like it." Tom said clapping Geoff on the back as Kathryn ran her hand across her knew lower and more specious bunk. It was still going to be cramped in here with two other people with whom to share it, but it would be worth it in the end. Plus she could think of far worse people to spend her time with.

"When do you plan on leaving?" Riley asked and it was of course Kathryn who answered that one.

"Right away."

They had said their goodbyes quickly, the decision had been made and the course plotted, Tom was at the helm, Kathryn was sitting next to him, and the Doctor was sitting back at the tactical station getting familiar with all the ships new systems. They had not said much since their departure, only exchanging small talk and the odd question about the ship. It wasn't that they were purposely avoiding the question about the cloak, but for now it was the Elephant in the room. Tom had set course to rendezvous with the Ferengi and no one had questioned him. He had taken this to mean that the exchange was on.

For now the cargo hold only had one thing inside it, and it was what Tom was going to trade for the cloak. He was sure Kathryn had seen what it was, she would not have let him go ahead and make a trade if she did not know what they were exchanging. He knew weapons would be a complete no no. along with biomimetic gel or other regulated substances. This time he had been lucky. What the Ferengi had been looking for was simple enough to get hold of, if not a fairly hard to come by commodity.

"How long until we reach Ida?" Kathryn asked, deciding that they did need to talk about it, even if she hadn't fully come to terms with the fact that they were buying a stolen cloak from less than reputable sellers. She also had to acknowledge the fact that it would help them avoid any Federation ships that may try to stop them on their way.

"About thirty six hours give or take. It depends on how many ships we have to avoid on route, but right now it's looking all clear ahead." Tom replied checking the scanners once more as Kathryn stood up and moved towards the aft compartment.

"Dinner?" she asked as she stood next to the replicator and pondered her choice. Tom looked at the Doctor who got the hint pretty quickly and switched places with Tom. More familiar with the controls now the Doctor took over with more confidence this time and relaxed back in the chair. With one eye on the consoles in front of him, and one eye on the view screen. The Doctor listened intently behind him, trying to hear the conversation between his two companions. If in fact they said anything at all.

All feedback welcome, I hope it has not been too long and I will endeavour to update more quickly from now on. Thank you for reading XxX


	14. Chapter 14

See I am updating there is no longer a need to have me flogged. Please enjoy.

Tom and Kathryn ate in silence, there really wasn't anything more to say. Ida was almost two days away from Geoff and Riley's moon and they had already been traveling for just over twelve hours. Everything about the ships new systems had been discussed. They had talked their mission to death, and now they were left in companionable silence.

Neither of them felt the need to talk either, over the past few weeks they had become accustomed to one another. Their different moods, their habits and knowing when the other just wanted to sit in quiet contemplation. This was one of those moments, they were almost at the point of no return and if there was any time for reflection now was it.

"I am going to record a message for Miral later." Tom said out of the blue and Kathryn just nodded at him slowly in silent agreement. She had wanted to ask him if he had done it, but she didn't want to push him. She knew Tom would only get annoyed with her constant badgering on the subject, and probably not end up doing it just to prove a point. This was something he had to do on his own. And as Kathryn suspected he had come to the correct conclusion without any further persuasion from herself.

"I wanted to have a word with the doctor anyway." Kathryn said getting up and placing her empty bowel in the replicator. Recycling it she moved forward leaving Tom alone at the small table, giving him the space he needed to make his recording. Without making it seem like she was doing it on purpose. They both knew better however and Tom let a small smile slip onto his face as she walked passed him. Kathryn did not see it though as she joined the Doctor at the helm.

Tom went up and climbed onto his bunk. It had its own small communications station in the wall behind his pillow. The modifications Geoff and Riley had done were now paying off as Tom closed the curtain around his small alcove for some privacy.

Switching on the display he set it for record and took a deep breath. It somehow felt cheap talking to his daughter this way, like he was escaping telling her why he was leaving her in person. Tom knew however that this was better than no explanation at all, and even if his five year old daughter did not understand his reasoning now, she would someday.

"Hi honey I hope you are being a good girl for your mommy." Tom began already feeling the well of emotions rising inside of him but he was determined to get through this.

"Daddy has had to go away for a while, probably a long while actually. I have got something very important to do, something that will hopefully change your life for the better. You may not understand why I have to do this, but you will one day. I just want you to know that daddy loves you, and no matter what I will always be there for you. You are one of the few things I ever got right in my life, and going away now to protect your future may just be another one. Be good my angel."

Tom stopped the recording quickly as a lone tear fell down his cheek and landed on his shirt. Whipping the rest of the moisture from his face he took a deep breath. Reaching forward Tom encoded the message and pressed transmit. He knew it would take the message about a day to get back to Miral and by that time they would be long gone. Sitting back in his bunk looking up at the celling he could here soft chatter coming from the forward section of the flyer. Smiling slightly at the irritation in Kathryn's voice, Tom decided that he should probably go and save her from the Doctor before she deactivated him.

Getting up and pulling the curtain away he stopped out onto the floor and moved forward. He could hear them better now , and he couldn't help but smile.

"I don't see why I can't create a holo log of the mission, this could be one of the most important missions in Starfleet history." The Doctor said as Tom came and stood behind their chairs. He looked down at Kathryn who had a withering look on her face.

"That may well be the case Doctor, but it is also a highly illegal mission, candid shots of us smiling at what we have stolen would not do us any favours when they finally get us back for a court martial." The doctor paused at this and let out a small puff of air. Sitting back in his chair he did have to concede her point and looking back at Tom the former Voyager pilot shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe you can get some upon our triumphant return. I'm sure Starfleet wont punish us too badly if we actually managed to stop the Borg from destroying Earth." Tom said trying to lighten the mood with some success.

"Yes I can see it now. The returning saviours of the Alpha quadrant, in full, a holo story of their adventures." The Doctor said with a slight wistful look in his eye and Kathryn shook her head slightly at the thought.

"I would keep those plans on hold for now Doctor, we still have a long way to go yet." Kathryn said with a large yawn. They had been up for almost twenty hours now, and it was finally starting to catch up to even Kathryn, who was known for not going to sleep for days on Voyager when the ship was in any kind of danger.

"Right that's it you two off to bed, Doctors orders." The Doctor said as he saw Tom catch the yawn and try and supress it. They both looked tired, and he knew they would not sleep unless ordered to do so.

"You're not our doctor any more Doctor, you can't order us." Kathryn said having no intention of going to bed, but it did sound like a good idea.

"Oh no as far as I can tell I am still the ranking medical officer on this flight, and as you know Admiral the chief medical officers orders out rank those of even an Admirals when it concerns matter of health." The Doctor smiled at his reasoning and Kathryn just held her hands up in the air in mock surrender.

"Ok fine I am going." She said getting up as Tom backed away to allow her to do so. He knew she must have been tired to have given in that easily, but Tom was far from wide awake himself.

"Ok thanks' Doc, could you wake us as soon as went enter the Idarian system." Tom said moving back to the aft compartment as the Doctor looked over his shoulder at him.

"I am a Doctor Mr Paris, not an alarm clock, but I assure you as soon as we run into any traffic you will be the first person I call." With that Tom gave the Doctor a small grin as turned away from the holographic man. Pulling his bed sheet back Tom noted that Kathryn had already climbed into her alcove opposite him and closed the curtains. For a brief moment Tom allowed a thought to flicker through his mind. Something which he had not allowed himself to think about all those nights they had spent huddled under the same blanket. He wondered if she was getting changed and what she would be wearing under those thin sheets.

Brushing the thought aside as quickly as it had come in the first place Tom climbed into his own bunk and stripped off down to his underwear. Leaving his curtain open this time, he wasn't sure why Tom settled down staring at Kathryn's dark bunk, and for a moment Tom wished there had only been room for one.

Kathryn was tired, she could feel her muscles heavy with sleep beneath her, yet she couldn't actually fall into unconsciousness. It also had nothing to do with where they were. She trusted the Doctor to fly the ship and alert them at the first sign of danger. No this was something far more personal and far more dangerous. She missed having Tom lying beside her. One hand protectively draped around her waist. His strong body holding her close as she slept. Thinking she wouldn't notice his circling thumb on her belly, and she having no intention of stopping him either.

Kathryn had always enjoyed her solitude, being alone and independent, but loneliness had become somewhat of a burden to her over the past month. Her isolation less pronounced as she and Tom had grown to rely on one another again. Now separated by mere feet the distance seemed far greater as she turned onto her side and pulled back the curtain to look over at his bunk.

To her surprise his curtain was wide open and he was facing her. In the gloom she could not tell if he was awake or not and as she strained her eyes to tell her body was screaming out to her to go to him. Listening intently for any movement from the Doctor Kathryn could hear nothing form the helm. Deciding that if she was going to get any sleep tonight she would have to move across and climb in next to Tom, she threw back the covers silently and placed her feet on the floor.

Getting to her feet she padded across the small expanse separating them and crouched down next to Tom. She could now see that he was in fact asleep, but his face held a troubled look. Kathryn wondered if he was thinking about Miral, or Be'lanna , or even the mission. She felt bad about disturbing him now. Getting up with every intention of going back to her won bunk and leaving him in peace she almost let out a small yelp when a hand clasped her own.

"Get in." he whispered rolling over slightly and lifting the covers for her. Kathryn didn't hesitate and as she got in she also pulled the curtain across, creating a barrier between them and the outside world.

"I thought you were asleep." She said in a quiet voice as Tom pulled her in close in a now very familiar position.

"I was kind of, but I heard you get up. I didn't want to look like I was waiting for you, so I pretending to be asleep." Tom said and Kathryn could hear the grin in his voice, even though she could not see it.

"Waiting for me a, such confidence Mr Paris, maybe I should return to my own sleeping bunk." Kathryn said but made no move to do so. Tom's arm closed on her slightly adding a bit of pressure to her waist as he lent forward slightly to whisper in her ear.

"I don't think you really want to do that Kathryn." Tom said and Kathryn could picture all the times he had said similar things to other women on many different worlds. The thought for a moment made her squirm on the inside. They had never even kissed yet in this moment she felt like one of his conquests. The thought that scared her the most however was that she really didn't mind that thought.

"I see that age has not dampened your sprit Tom, and here it thought that womanizing days were over." Kathryn teased as Tom let out a small huff. Kathryn turned over slightly so she was now lying on her back. Tom's hand slipped onto her stomach as she did so and he turned his head to look at her.

"Never, especially when you have a beautiful woman in your bed." He said and the words almost sounded reverent. Kathryn decided that this conversation was headed in a dangerous direction. Needing a change of pace quickly before things got out of hand she looked at him briefly and raised her eyebrows.

"About our cargo, what in the world would Ferengi want with self-sealing stem bolts?" she asked having inspected what Tom had acquired to trade for the cloak earlier had actually left her puzzled. It was unlike the Ferengi to deal in anything but gold pressed Latium.

"Who knows, but it's what they wanted I guess they have a buyer lined up, who is willing to pay a high price for them." Tom said feeling disappointed that she changed the subject so quickly. He was enjoying where their previous conversation was going, but he knew a get out when he saw one. It was obvious that Kathryn was not ready for that type of conversation yet and he wasn't about to push her.

"How did you get hold of so many?" She said as Tom smiled slightly, knowing that she probably wouldn't believe him even if he told her.

"I sold my body, is that a problem?" he said in mock tone as Kathryn rolled over onto her side once more and they took up their old familiar position.

"Not at all, as long as you don't try and sell my body, I think I can live with it." She joked as her eyes slipped closed and she relaxed her body against his. Enjoying the feeling of his chest rising and falling as he to drifted off into sleep. It came far easier for them both now that they were together once more.

More soon, remember feedback isn't just for Christmas, hope you enjoyed more to come soon. Thank you for reading XxX


	15. Chapter 15

A new chapter please read and enjoy.

Kathryn awoke feeling like she had only been asleep for a moment to the sound of sirens going off inside the flyer. It was Tom's hasty exit that had awoken her, followed by the sounds of the doctor yelling.

"Mr Paris!" His voice rang over the top of the siren as Tom danced his way forward, still trying to pull on his pants as he did so. If it wasn't for the fact that they seemed to be in danger Kathryn would have laughed at the site of him. The humour was lost in the moment however as the flyer bounced and shook with the familiar sound of phaser fire.

"Dam it I knew this would happen." Tom's voice said as Kathryn threw on her clothes and ran to the tactical station. Her fingers flew over the control panel trying to asses jut who was firing upon them, as Tom took control of the flyer and managed to avoid the worst of the deluge. Kathryn noted three attack style cruisers, origin she was unsure of, but this far out in the Alpha quadrant it could be anybody.

"They are surrounding us." Kathryn said noting the ships almost seemed to be circling them like vultures, even though they were still moving. Whatever Tom seemed to do, one of the other ships would cut him off. Once again they were returned to the centre of the circle.

"Pirates they are after whatever they can get. Man I wish we had that cloak now." Tom said as he pulled the flyer in to a hard Starboard turn and the torpedo that had been launched at them sailed off into the space beyond.

"But we do have a cloak, you used it to hide the ship in the barn and on the planet." Kathryn said as she ducked down to avoid and overloading power relay behind her head. More phaser fire had landed on their aft shield and it was starting to buckle.

"No that only operates when the craft is stationary, it's not powerful enough to mask our engine when it is running. It would be like hiding our head in the sand." Tom shouted over the sound of a blown plasma relay as the Doctor came back towards Kathryn and gave her a worried glance.

"Perhaps we should sort that out." He said pointing to the rear of the flyer which was getting filled with steam from the pipe.

"I'm an Admiral Doctor not an octopus, I can't return fire and repair that conduit, you will have to make the repair alone." Kathryn said as Tom finally managed to find her a target and she fired off two photon torpedoes.

"Direct hit Admiral, nice shooting." Tom said with a quick grin back at her but there was not time for congratulations now. The flyer shook once more as the remaining two ships intensified their attack.

"Noted Admiral, I will get right on it." The Doctor said knowing when to quit and he moved back into the smoke that had enveloped the aft of the ship. Realising that he was in fact the best hologram for the job, as the toxic fumes would have rendered either of his companion's unconscious in moments he set to work. The tipping and rocking of the ship, not to mention the sudden jolts made it hard for the doc to make the repair quickly. It was hard to see in all the fumes and the constant noise was making him lose his concentration.

"Doc I need that auxiliary power or we are going to be attempting escape on inertia alone!" Tom's voice cried from the pilots seat as Kathryn's triumphant yes hit the Doctors ears and he couldn't help but smile a little as his once stoics Captain's exuberance.

"Well if you would be so kind as to hold her steady Commander I might just be able to get something done back here." He called back to a resounding scoff from his friend as the flyer for a moment levelled off. It was all the Doctor needed to finish his repairs. Venting the gas and closing the port he scooped up his tool kit and made his way back to the front of the flyer. Looking out his view screen he could now only see one ship, it flew past them at an alarming rate and let out a volley of phaser fire on its way.

"Well at least the odds are a little more even now Mr Paris." The doc said as he took his seat next to him as Tom gave him a quick glance.

"Never knew you were such as good shot Admiral, remind me never to play velocity with you." Tom said pulling off another manoeuvre to avoid enemy fire.

"I think Seven would agree with you on that one Tom, but right now how about you get me a shot on this last ship a." Kathryn said a clip in her tone that Tom and the Doctor both recognised well. It was the tone of command. It was to be followed no questions asked, with their full commitment. Tom wasn't about to let her down.

Shifting the flyer around the other ship he placed himself in front of it. Dropping the speed quickly he brought the flyer to a complete stop and the ship perusing it flew straight passed them. Kathryn did not need to be told what to do. Her fingers were poised over the button to fire and as soon as the other ship was in her target area she sent two torpedoes right at them.

The explosion that followed was unexpected, they had only meant to disable the ship, but the pieces of debris that now bounced off their shields told them they had done far more than that. There was no time for remorse however as someone was bound to turn up soon and discover the wreckage. They were only just outside of the Ida system and if caught here they would have been held responsible.

"Get us out of here Mr Paris, full impulse." Kathryn said her command mode still on high alert as they sped away from the debris. Kathryn was pretty sure that the other ship would be identified as a pirate ship eventually, but they did not have the time for an inquisition now. That and they had come to Ida to do a pretty shady deal themselves, the more they could remain under the radar the better.

The planet came into view only a few minutes later, Tom sent out a sub space message on an encoded channel to alert the Ferengi that they had arrived. Tom told them that they had replied and that they were to meet them at the arranged coordinates. Kathryn allowed herself a brief moment to relax as Tom piloted the flyer down on to the planet. The landscape before her was wild and green, not what she had been expecting at all. She thought it would be some kind of building, and insulation at least or out post. But all there was nothing but long green grass as far as the eye could see.

Standing up Kathryn moved forward and placed her hand on Tom's shoulder, she could feel him tense under her hand as he sat with the engine's still running on the flyer and his face turned halfway towards her.

"I don't like this Tom, something doesn't feel right." She said her voice was barely above a whisper, but he had heard her. The slight nod of his head in agreement was all she needed to know that.

"Maybe we are in the wrong place?" The Doctor said but even he didn't believe his own words as the tension on the ship mounted. Maybe it was just what they were doing not where, but they were all feeling uneasy now and the waiting was only making it worse. The chirp of the comm. system made them all jump, it was however the Doctor that recovered quickest and answered the hail.

"Demon Bass to Mr Paris. We are about to land confirm your position." The Ferengi on the screen said as Tom looked up to see his contact.

"We are here Demon and awaiting your arrival." Tom replied and it all became suddenly reasonable. The Ferengi were not based here. They had no building or out post. It was merely a meeting place, they too had come in a ship, and were landing now right in front of the flyer. Tom stood up and turned to Kathryn. He looked down at her, a solemn look on his face as she backed away enough to let him passed.

"We have agreed upon a price Kathryn do not let him get anything else out of us." He said handing her the Padd with the agreement on it. She took it from his hands and gave him a quizzical look.

"I'm just the pilot, he will want to deal with you." Tom said as Kathryn nodded quickly, understanding that the Ferengi had their ways and right now there was no point in arguing. She had done this many times before, she had negotiated an alliance inside a Void for heaven's sake, she could trade some supply's with a Ferengi. Straightening her shoulder she stepped out of the flyer and with Tom behind her she descended the stairway out into the long grass.

The plants almost came up to her neck in a few places and the Ferengi they were due to meet were only visible by the path they were creating through the growth. Kathryn flicked her eyes up to Tom's for a moment the obvious amusement in them a welcome relief from all the tension they had been under so recently.

"Madam Janeway." A voice came from just beyond them as three figures emerged from the thicket. The one in the lead was obviously Demon Bass, the two men behind him were carrying the cloaking system. It was obviously heavy and Kathryn was wondering how she and Tom were going to get it back to the flyer.

"Demon, I see you have brought our cloaking device. We have your stem bolts aboard and my companion is ready to transport them as soon as I give the command." She said offering her hand to him as the Demon took it and kissed it briefly.

"As in our pre-arranged agreement. Now as the rules of acquisition state a contract is a contract is a contract. You have my word madam Janeway the cloak is yours." Damon Bass said as he beckoned his two companions over and they placed the cloak at Tom's feet. Kathryn tapped her comm. Badge and the Doctor replied.

"Beam over our cargo Doc, the deal is done." Kathryn said as Demon Bass received conformation that they had their stem bolts and he gave Kathryn a sly smile.

"A pleasure doing business with you, if you are ever in the market for anything else, do remember me." With that the Ferengi entourage retreated and Tom and Kathryn looked at one another.

"You get the feeling that was all too easy?" Tom said as he lifted one end of the cloak and had to pant as he took the weight.

"Maybe but you know what I think, I am just going to be grateful that it was." Kathryn replied lifting the other end of the cloak and almost collapsing under its weight. Tom was concerned for her, but he knew better than to ask if she were ok. The only answer he would get was that she was fine, and right now he just wanted to get back to the ship and put the cloak down.

The Doctor was waiting for them at the base of the stairs. Once the Ferengi ship had left he had decided that it was safe enough to leave the pilots chair and help out his friends. Taking the weight from Kathryn without saying a word he also bore most of the brunt from Tom who was silently grateful. Placing it in the aft compartment they all knew that installation would have to wait. First they needed to find a safe place to land, and time to do it without interruptions.

"So Tom do you know any out of the way places around here where we could install that thing." Kathryn said placing herself in the navigation seat as the doc sat at tactical. Tom got the flyer off the ground and took her back out into orbit. So far no one had bothered them, but if they were to have an inspection now and found to be carrying stolen goods it would not be pleasant.

"No I am afraid not, we have reached the outer limits of my knowledge here, I guess we are just going to have to play I spy for a while." Tom said moving the flyer out of orbit and back on their previous heading.

"I spy?" the Doctor enquired as Tom took them through a few ships also coming and going from the planet. A patrol ship passed them but made no effort to either contact them, or ask for identification. It did not however stop the occupancy if the flyer to hold their breath until it was out of range.

"The sooner we are out of here the better, we can look for a suitable planet later." Kathryn said as Tom began to clear the traffic and set course for the boundary of the Alpha quadrant.

Kathryn sat back in her seat and crossed her legs. She looked out at the stars streaking past, the feeling was familiar and comforting in one way, terrifying in another. She had always managed to keep that fear a bay. Not the fear of space or what lie beyond, but the fear of failure, the through that this may all be in vain. That fear returned now, its icy fangs digging in to her just behind the eyes and she placed her hand over them momentarily. Feeling a warm hand land on her thigh Kathryn dropped her own from her face and looked down at the long fingers that resided there.

"What is it?" Tom asked averting his gaze from the view screen to study her. His eyes looking at her with a serenity that she had never seen there before and now she paused before answering. Whatever her fears, wherever they may have come from she was still a Starfleet Admiral and she knew better than to let your crew know you had doubts, any doubts about a mission.

"Just the irony Tom, we spent seven years trying to get out of the Delta quadrant, and now we are headed straight back there." She said knowing that at least she had told him the truth, if not the entire truth.

Hope you enjoyed that chapter. Remember reviews are not just for Christmas so let me know what you thought. Thanks for reading XxX


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry for the delay in updates once more but I am afraid life got in the way. Thank you for your patients and please enjoy.

The flight away from Ida and out towards the boundary of the Alfa quadrant began easily enough. For the first two days things were pretty much routine inside the flyer. Steady warp four and keep an eye out on the sensors for a M class planet that they could set down upon to fit the cloak. So far they had seen none that would accommodate them.

"No wonder no one ever comes out this far, nothing but rocks and gas giants." Tom said from the pilots chairs as Kathryn scanned yet another L class planet as they dropped out of warp to check out the next solar system. It was as barren as the last. A single sun with three planets orbiting around it. None of which supported any life. The journey although still in its infancy was already becoming tedious.

When they had started everything had happened so quickly, none of them had had time to think about the consequences. Well not properly anyway. Court-martial's, even the prospect of dying seemed like far off places that one only whispered about in the dead of night. Now though the three former Voyager crew members had nothing but time to think about those things. Tom's thoughts had turned to his daughter on more than one occasion. He still believed that what he was doing was the right thing, but he was sad that he had not taken the time to go and see her before he had left. His message seemed hollow in its sincerity now, even if he had meant every word. As he turned the flyer outwards again and set course at warp four he watched as the stars became long streaks of light once more and sat back in his chair.

Looking over at Kathryn he wondered what she had been thinking about all these long hours. Tom suspected that it had to be one of two things. Either she was worried about what would happened if they returned home, having been wrong about the Borg threat. Or if they weren't wrong and didn't return home at all. Tom didn't know which way Kathryn would rather the chips fell. As far as he knew she didn't have a death wish, but to return home in disgrace would be the last thing he knew she would want. He looked at her now as she read from a Padd. What she was reading didn't interest him, it was the faraway look on her face, as though she was not reading what was in front of her at all, but considering the many possibilities still laid out before her. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips for a second, her teeth catching her lower lip and biting down slightly until the lip lost its pigmentation she was biting it so hard. Tom winced as Kathryn let go of her trapped lip but didn't seem to react to the pain she had obviously caused herself. Waiting had always been hard on her, tom knew this from experience.

Never once had he seen her falter under pressure, whether that pressure was battle or first contact, or any of the other millions of situations they had found themselves in, when they had been in the Delta quadrant. No for Kathryn Janeway those times were almost the easiest. She knew what had to be done, she gave the orders, her crew obeyed and win or lose she was in control. The waiting was always the worst for her. Tom remembered once on a particularly grim night watch he could not get any sleep and had walked the ship. Eventually ending up in the hydroponics bay. He had not been there since Kes had left them and he had not known what had brought him there that particular evening either. He could not remember now what had had the ship so on edge, but he knew B'lanna had been feeling the tension also as she left for the night duty in engineering. Alone in his quarters Tom had lasted maybe an hour before he began his walk. And less than half of that before he found himself in the hydroponics bay, looking at his Captain.

She had not known he was there at first, she had her back to him, looking at one of the flowers that had bloomed early. Its friends still in cased in their protective pods, the bright red flower shone like a light in the darkness and she had seemed to be transfixed. Tom had watched her for a moment unguarded, allowed himself to really look at her for the first time in what had seemed like forever. She stood her head slightly down, obvious tension in her shoulder. Weight on one leg with her hip stuck out to one side. He noticed just how small she really was, her Captain's persona made up for her lack in stature, but now that had been stripped away from him, and all he saw was a petite woman with all that frailties of any normal human being. This fact almost frightened him, for he could not think of her in this way, not only was it objectifying her, but also making her vulnerable in his eyes. It was not a good route to go down when they seemed to be in constant danger.

"Are you planning on standing there all night Mr Paris, or was there reason for your visit?" her voice had pulled him from his thoughts. Not only because it seemed loud in the large space of the hydroponics bay, but also that she had not turned around once since his entrance.

"No Ma'am I mean yes Ma'am." Tom had stumbled remembering how guilty he had felt for his staring, and wondering just how much she knew about why he had been staring.

"Well which is it Tom?" Kathryn had asked finally turning around and regarding him with a soft look which told Tom that she already knew the answer. It was one of the only times he could remember that she had been both grateful, and shocked by his presence. They had spoken for a while about trivial things in that isolated part of the ship. Her avoidance of any subject related to the current danger they were in ignored, and Tom noticed that she fidgeted with her hands and bit down on her lip. Something had been bothering her that night, as it seemed to be now. Tom sat back and adverted his eyes from her. Choosing once more to look out of the view screen and allow her some privacy. Tom decided that if their relationship, such as it was had not come far enough for her to tell him her worries, then he was not going to ask. Right now he had enough to worry about himself.

The Doctor had been at the helm for just over an hour before sensors had sown more planets on their current trajectory. He had been worried about his fellow crew members, as they had been quiet and reserved for the past day or so. He could count on one hand the amount of conversation they had had in that time, and on a single finger the conversations that were not to do with the current planet they had been scanning. The Doctor himself had brought up the conversation when they had scanned the third possible planet and he could see that the other two were about to retreat back into themselves. The Doc may only be a holo program, a very sophisticated one, but still just a program none the less. But he did have feelings, not only for himself and his crews wellbeing, but also that of a friend. This endless sitting and waiting had been hard on him to, but he always had the luxury of turning himself off. He had however not taken that liberty yet and had endured the silence along with his two companions.

The conversation had begun easily enough, he had asked about other members of their former crew. First about Harry, then Tuvok. Finally they had a mutual conversation about Seven and Chakotay. It was inevitable that the Doctor should ask a question that in hindsight should have been left alone. He asked why Kathryn had not asked Seven on this mission, not only would she be an early warning beacon for the presence of Borg, bit she was by far the current expert on them. Kathryn had merely looked at Tom and then turned those steely blue eyes back on him. If the Doctor had possessed real skin he knew he would have been supporting goose bumps at that moment.

"Because she didn't care." Was all Kathryn had said, and with a final glance at Toms he had retreated to the aft compartment and the conversation had ended. It had taken the Doctor another hour to prize out of Tom what Kathryn had meant and after that they had gone back to silence.

Now as the Doctor slowed to impulse and could hear the sound of the sonic shower go off, he smiled to himself when his sensors showed the presence of a M class planet.

"Mr Paris, Admiral you may want to come up here." The Doc call to the two people in the back. It was Kathryn who appeared first, telling the Doctor that it had been Tom in the shower and as the Admiral sat down beside him and also looked at the sensors. He could feel the air of tension almost physically lift from the ship as Tom finally joined them and looked out of the view screen.

"Please tell me we have found it." He asked running a towel through his hair and for a brief moment looked like the young lieutenant Kathryn had pulled from that prison colony.

"Oh yes we have found it. Standard orbit Mr Paris, let's see if we can't find somewhere nice to set her down a." Kathryn said as the doctor moved over to make room for Tom as he did as Kathryn had ordered. It was good to be back to normal, even if it was only just for now.

Settling into orbit Tom scanned the planet below. All his previous thoughts vanished, just as quickly as this planet had appeared to them.

"Life signs Mr Paris?" Kathryn asked from her position beside him and the familiarity of the situation comforted him no end.

"Affirmative Admiral, several large colonies in the Sothern hemisphere of the planet." Tom said running his hands over the controls and scanning further. He knew this was not all the information Kathryn would require.

"Warp capable?" Kathryn questioned him, almost as though she didn't want to disappoint.

"No I would say they were in an early stage of an industrial revolution, much like we were around the early 20th century. " Tom confirmed as the Doctor leaned forward and spoke to the both of them.

"I don't need to remind you about the non-interference laws we have. If we are to set down here, we must find a place where we won't be spotted." He said as Kathryn gave him a slight arch of the eyebrow and folded her arms.

"I realise Doctor that we are operating somewhat outside of the Starfleet regulations, but as yet I have not turned into a complete idiot. When I do I'm sure you will be the first one to notice." Kathryn said with only a slight mocking grin on her face which she deprived the Doctor of seeing.

"Somewhere north it is then, but I have to say the land up there is pretty inhospitable, desert mainly, with temperatures well in the thirties." Tom said as he found a suitable spot to land and began his decent.

"Then I guess we will have to make this visit as brief as possible." Kathryn replied as they broke through the planets atmosphere and could finally see then ground. It was pretty much as Tom had described it. Sparsely populated by strange looking plants, a few sickly looking tress, and sand as far as the eye could see. Skimming over the land Tom spotted a more mountainous landscape ahead. Piloting the flyer to land just in the shadow of one of the mountains he finally set her down as gently as Kathryn remembered.

"Nice Mr Paris, now I don't know about you nut I could sure do with a stretch of the legs." Kathryn said as Tom powered down the engines and smiled.

"Sounds like a good idea, the cloak can wait for an hour or so." Tom replied as he followed Kathryn to the aft door as she opened it and was hit by a wave of heat. One she was sure would have been far worse, if Tom had not parked in the shadow of the mountain.

"Well it's not exactly Risa, but I have to say it's better than nothing." Kathryn said as she descended the stairs and placed her hand above her eyes to shied her from the sun. Tom and the Doctor followed her down on to the surface, but they could see nothing of real interest. It was just good to be off the ship, and breathing in fresh air.

"If it ok with you, I think I will remain here and start work on installing the cloak." The Doctor said, it wasn't any one thing, but something was telling him the less time they spent on this planet the better.

"Sure thing Doc." Tom said as he looked at Kathryn who seemed to be entranced with her surroundings, almost enough not to have heard the Doctor. Once again she surprised him with her reply.

"Ok Doctor, but if you don't mind I think I am going to go for a walk." She said moving forward as Tom followed her.

"Some friendly advice Admiral, don't go too far." The Doctor said his tone kept purposefully light, but inside he knew Kathryn Janeway had a knack for attracting trouble. This was not the time for such distractions.

"Noted Doctor, and don't worry we will be back within the hour." With that the Doc watched them walk off towards the mountains, and he turned and went back inside the flyer. He could at least occupy himself with starting work on the cloak.

NEXT TIME: Were the Doctors suspicions correct, or was it all worry for nothing, and the planet is far less of a threat than what is too come. Please as ever let me know what you think via a review and I will update asap. Thank you for reading XxX


	17. Chapter 17

Welcome back dear readers, I hope you will enjoy my latest offering.

Kathryn moved across the somewhat barren landscape, the wind was soft against her cheek as the sun beat down upon her head. She hadn't realised how much she had missed being outside. It was not something she had considered when they had been stuck on voyager all those years. Shore leave was something of a luxury then, and one she had not often indulged in. her concerns back then had been far more focused on whatever situation they were likely to encounter next. Or the ever constant pressure of getting her crew home. On the flyer, journeying to the ends of the Alfa quadrant, Kathryn did not feel the same pressure.

Looking back over her shoulder she could see Tom examining some of the local plant life. He was bent over what appear to be a lifeless bush when the vine almost seemed to reach out and grab him.

"Tom!" Kathryn exclaimed as she jogged towards him as he sprang back away from the shrub.

"I'm fine, I guess the local wildlife is not as hospitable as we first thought." He said smiling down at her, as Kathryn shielded her eyes against the glare of the sun, as she tilted her head upwards to look at him.

"Perhaps not." Kathryn said with a small smile that fell off her face quickly as she saw his worried expression as he looked down at her.

"I do wish you would stop worrying about me." She said reading the situation as Tom folded his arms.

"I don't think that is ever going to happen Kathryn, it was my job for far too long to worry about you, and no amount of time is going to change that." Tom replied as Kathryn walked away from him slightly, turning her back towards him before she stopped. Looking back at Tom over her shoulder Kathryn sighed.

"On this mission Tom I am not your commanding officer, I have not right to be. What I have asked you to do, you did I hope because you wanted to. If you continue to think of and protect me like a Captain, it could get us all killed." Kathryn said watching as Tom walked forward and closed the distance between them.

"It's not that simple, I can't just switch off how I feel, watching you sat in that chair today a million miles away, and wondering just what you were thinking about. And to tell the truth it made me sad that you weren't sharing your concerns with me. If you truly were not my commanding officer, and simply my friend, you would have said something." Tom said stopping in front of her just within arm's reach, but he made no move to touch her in any way. Kathryn knew he was right, for either of her companions to see her as anything but their Captain she would first have to stop acting like one. It was however easier said than done.

"What was it you think I was thinking about Tom? Because I can assure you, it probably was not what you were thinking." Kathryn said taking a deep breath and knew if she was going to at least try to break down some barriers, she had to start somewhere.

"I don't know I guess the mission, what people may be thinking of us back home. I want you to know I have the same concerns." Tom said feeling like he wanted to reach out and take hold of her, something was making him hold back though. Knowing that one wrong step here and Kathryn would pull away again. Retreat into herself once more, and perhaps not come out again.

"That was not what I was thinking about. " Kathryn replied feeling the familiar feeling of fear she always got when she was on the verge of telling someone something personal.

"I was thinking Tom why do we cling to one another, why us out of the one hundred and fifty people on Voyager did we find each other again. The Doctor was right Seven would have been a much better officer for this mission. Harry would have been invaluable, and Chakotay, or Tuvok would have created a far more manageable balance. Hell they should have all come." Kathryn said stopping mid-sentence and looking at Tom. He was staring at her, his eyes open in a kind of understanding she had come to expect from him over the last few months.

"Maybe because our lives were something we were both willing to risk." Tom said the implications of which made Kathryn's eyes darken.

"No Tom they are not." She said quietly wanting to turn away from him but forcing herself to stand still. Tom had not moved a muscle since she had first spoken and Kathryn was starting to wonder if this was the right time for such a conversation at all.

"Look if you don't want to tell me what has been bothering you then fine, I can live with that, hell I have not had a problem with it for a decade now, why should things suddenly change." Tom said an obvious anger to his voice which made Kathryn wince internally. This was not how she had wanted this conversation to go. But as many of her other attempts to open up to others had gone, it had inevitably ended in failure. Tom turned on his heel, and moved back towards the flyer, his back moving slowly away from her as she watched him go. The feeling of wanting to reach out to him and bring him back to her was almost overwhelming. Kathryn held herself in check though, knowing he needed some time to think before they tried that again.

"If I did not trust you tom I would not be spending my nights in your arms." Her words so clear so truthful however were far to quite for her retreating companion to here.

"Why is it I can only say the things I want to say when I am alone." Kathryn said to herself as she continued to walk forward not having a destination in mind she wandered the foot hills of the mountain. Grateful to be alone, but also ashamed of that fact. Tom had been right about one thing, he did deserve better. Not really paying attention to wear she was going, but thinking it was time to head back, Kathryn turned around and felt something grasp her leg. Reaching down to tear away the thorny spine of one of the shrubs that had almost got Tom earlier. Kathryn inspected the small tare in her pants leg.

"Dam it." She exclaimed peering through the whole and seeing the thin line of blood where the thorn had dug into her skin. It was a tiny scratch and she stood up straight cussing under her breath as she did so. Looking straight ahead the world for a moment went into a spin. Stumbling slightly Kathryn held out her arms for balance as the world titled still. Trying to find some semblance of which way was up she stumbled forwards.

"Why is the world spinning?" she said out loud to no one but herself. This feeling was somehow familiar, her head span and her heart raced, but she didn't seem to care. It reminded of her about a time at the academy when one of her room mates had gotten hold of some Romulan ale. Staggering forwards so she was making progress now towards the flyer Kathryn let out an uncontrollable laugh as she thought about those times. She felt strange, but good, so free, like she hadn't done in years.

As she moved forward once again she realised that she was in fact going more to the side and that made her laugh harder.

"Tom!" she cried out at the top of her voice hoping he would come out and help her get back Kathryn wobbled slightly until she landed on one knee in the dirt.

"Ouchy." She said looking down at her grazed palm. Standing up once more she called again, trying to focus on the flyer which was perhaps just over a hundred yards away. She could see no movement so she wobbled forward some more until she landed firmly on her butt. Letting out a very un-Admiral like giggle she shouted for Tom again.

"Tomas!" she cried hoping the use of his full name would bring him running to her aid.

"Tom had been up to his elbow is engine components when the sound of his name reached his ears.

"Did you hear that?" Tom said to the Doctor who was inside one of the tubes. His shiny head stuck out of the tube as the sound of Kathryn's voice reached his ears also.

"Yeah that sounds like the Admiral, kind of." The Doc said looking at Tom as the pair of them shot out of the back of the flyer and spotted her almost immediately sitting in the dirt.

"What in the name of God." Tom said breaking into a run followed by the Doc. Tom could see Kathryn sitting on the floor, leg out stretched in front of her head hanging downwards as her arms hung loosely at her side. Tom skidded to a stop at her side, crouching down and grabbing on to her shoulders he looked at her as she tilted her head up to him slowly. Her eyes seemed unusually big, and also unfocused. The smile that came to her face was not the controlled half a lip raise he was sued to. it was a full force teeth, opened mouth smile that both broke his heart and worried him at the same time.

"It's about time." She said as the Doc joined them and passed a tri-quarter over her head. Kathryn didn't pay any attention to him however, her gaze was focused on Tom. Her smile remained as Tom looked from her to the Doc.

"She is running a slight temperature, and her electrolytes are very out of balance. If I didn't know any better I would say she was inebriated." The Doctor said closing his Tri-quarter and looking at tom over the top of Kathryn's head. Tom shook his head almost immediately knowing that couldn't possibly be right, but she was certainly acting strange.

"Kathryn can you stand up?" Tom asked turning his attention back to her, knowing that they couldn't stay out here.

"Umm could you carry me?" she asked him, sounding like a shy school girl, reaching up with both arms asking silently for him to pick her up. Tom turned to the Doc for a moment but he only saw concern in his eyes not ridicule. Turing around he grabbed Kathryn under the arm pits and pulled her to a standing position. She wobbled there for a moment before falling slightly onto him and leaning her cheek against his chest. Without thinking Tom bent down and grabbed Kathryn behind the knees. Her hands wrapped around his neck and he lifted her into the air. Moving forwards now he followed the Doctor back to the flyer, trying not to think about all the times he had wanted to do this. Under different circumstances that was, and it was a thought he could not allow himself to indulge in at this moment.

Making on to the flyer they moved into the back and the Doctor activated the medical bay and the bed came out form the wall. Tom placed his precious cargo on the illuminated bunk as her head rolled to the side and her eyes closed.

"What's wrong with her Doc?" Tom asked as the Doctor began his examination and all his response was to look at Tom and raise his eyebrow.

"Ok ok, is there anything I can do?" Tom said as Kathryn's eyes opened. She looked more alert now at least and Tom was hoping that whatever had affected her was starting to wear off. Kathryn started to sit up and the Doctor placed a hand on her shoulder and attempted to make her lie back down. Kathryn however was having none of it.

"Please Admiral I need to run some tests on you, something seems to have infected you." The Doctor said examining his readings and deciding that this was indeed some kind of virus.

"But I feel fine, in fact better than fine, I feel great." She said turning her focus on Tom and her eyes narrowed in to an almost predatory look. Tom had to swallow the lump that came to his throat at the look. She looked like she wanted to eat him alive, her darted out to lick her lips and Tom felt his pulse jump in response.

"Mr Paris may I suggest we place her in restraints." The Doc said seeing what was going on her all to easily. He was unfortunately too late. Kathryn had sprang off the bed and was moving towards Tom who was backing up against the far wall.

"Kathryn what are you doing?" He said looking somewhere between scared and curious as Kathryn pinned him against the wall. It was not that Tom couldn't have moved her if he had wanted to, but at this point he didn't really want to.

"I believe I am trying to seduce you Mr Paris, would you like me to stop?" Kathryn said her voice becoming softer than usual, but her trade mark huskiness remained, it sent a shiver running all the way from his chest to his toes. The answer however was cut short by the intervention of the Doc.

"Ok enough of that we have to figure out what is going on here, and if it is dangerous." He said physically removing Kathryn from around Tom and placing himself between her and Tom. Kathryn looked angry, Tom looked relieved and the Doc was concerned. The room was full of tension and it was the Doctor who broke it.

"Kathryn, have you eaten or drank anything from the planet's surface?" he asked her as she held onto the bio bed obviously feeling dizzy again.

"No nothing." She answered clutching hold of her own head and the Doctor was over to her in a second.

"Dizzy." She stated simply as the Doctor helped her up on to the bed and Tom finally came out of the corner and joined them.

"Did anything happen to you while you were out on the planet?" the Doctor asked hoping that if he could isolate the cause he could at least try and cure her.

"Umm yeah." She said hopping off the bio bed and pulling down her pants without hesitation. Tom again wanted to both turn away and look. The expanse of her creamy white skin proved too much for him. He looked as she turned her thigh and showed them the scratch there. Her fingers splaying out across her thigh and they traced the soft skin there. Tom was mesmerized by the movements of her hand. The Doctors head finally obscured his view, but as he looked up he realised he was being watched. Kathryn's eyes looked at him her pupils dilated almost to a point where her iris was no longer visible. The presence of the Doctor was no longer a consideration for either of them, as they stared at one another, nothing being said, but at the same time everything.

"Can you describe the plant that did this to you?" The Doctor asked once again breaking the moment and giving Tom a chance to come back to his senses. This was wrong. Kathryn was sick, she didn't know what she was doing, but he did. If he allowed her to do what he thought she wanted to do, it would be no better than taking advantage of her.

"Yeah some withered old shrub with thorns and no leaves on it. Dam thing reached out and grabbed me." Kathryn said looking down at the Doctor as he stood back up. Kathryn made no attempt to put her clothes back on but this didn't seem to bother the Doctor as he turned to face Tom.

"I am going to have to go out and collect a sample of this shrub, I can't risk you going and getting infected. From what I can tell her metabolic imbalance is getting worse, and if I don't stop it soon she will have no control over her higher reasoning skills." The Doctor said coming close to Tom looking back over his shoulder watching as Kathryn kicked away her pants and sat on the edge of the bio bed crossing her legs.

"This could kill her, and at the moment I have no idea how to stop it." He whispered as Tom focused on the Doc. He was scared about being left alone with her. He wasn't sure how long he could hold his own reserve.

"Can we sedate her?" he asked as the Doc shook his head.

"I am not sure how that would affect her brain chemistry at the moment, it could speed up the process for all I know. All you can do, is keep her from hurting herself, and don't let her go wondering off, keep her here until I return." He said picking up his medical case and throwing the strap over his shoulder.

"I am going put for a while, now stay here and make sure you do as Tom asks you." The Doctor said to Kathryn as she picked up a Tri-quarter but didn't seem to understand it function.

"Aye aye sir." She said with mock salute as she watched the Doctor leave the flyer.

"Alone at last." She said looking at Tom who could do nothing but stand and look at her and hope he would at least be able to hold out until the Doc returned.

Will the virus take Kathryn and Tom to the next level, and if it does will it only bring regrets? Thank you for reading XxX


	18. Chapter 18

Greetings dear readers please note that this chapter may contain scenes unsuitable for younger readers. Please continue at your own discretion.

As the door to the flyer closed the air of tension inside the now decidedly small ship rose several degrees. Tom could almost feel himself start to sweat just looking at Kathryn perched atop the bio bed. Her eyes had not moved from him once and now he was starting to feel very uncomfortable under her direct gaze. She had looked at him before, stared him down in the face of some violation of the rules. Even stared at him to let him know she was amused with him, but nothing like this before. Now she was totally unguarded, like a predator unleashed and Tom was defiantly feeling like the entre.

"Maybe you should lie down." Tom suggested but made no move to help her do so. In fact he hadn't moved and inch since stepping away from the wall. He was kidding himself if he thought this was entirely one sided, the sweat now pooling at his lower back was not only because of what he thought she would do to him if he let her. No it was also because he wanted her to do those things to him. Tom knew he would have to keep his distance if he had any hope of salvaging their friendship after this was all over. And he knew it would be over, the Doc would find a cure of that he was sure of. For now though he ventured a step forward, intending on heading back to fitting the cloak into the flyer. He thought if he shut her in he could at least concentrate on that for a while and put all thoughts of Kathryn's bare legs out of his mind.

"Leaving so soon Mr Paris, but we haven't even had a chance to talk." Kathryn said her voice low and sultry and it made Tom shiver slightly. He dared not look back at her, he knew she had stood up and come closer to him. He could tell by the sound of her voice that she was close. Tom could also swear that he could smell her. Subtle perfume laced with an essence that was purely Kathryn Janeway, and Tom knew he had to get out.

"I have to finish fitting the cloak." He managed to choke out as her hand landed on his shoulder and Tom almost jumped at the contact.

"It hurts Tom." Kathryn said to his back as Tom continued to evade her eyes. The timber in her voice did not suggest she was playing with him, but genuine feelings. He could ignore her no longer. Turning to face her he could see the anguish in her eyes; she was looking up at him so close now that the heat being radiated form her body was warming the air around Tom.

"God you're burning up." Tom said placing a hand on her forehead as Kathryn moaned low in her throat and pushed herself against him. Tom was being pulled in two different directions, on the one hand he wanted to help her to comfort her, but on the other he wanted to get as far away from her as possible. He knew this situation was dangerous for both of them. Whatever had been happening between them over the past month had to take its own course, not be rushed along by some alien virus, which would ultimately Tom suspected to push them further apart.

"I feel so strange Tom, I can't control it, it's burning me inside and I know you can stop that, you can help me." Kathryn said looking up at him running her hand along her own chest and down her stomach. Tom watched the hands progress, he couldn't help himself, and he was after all a man even if he by his own standards that were. Showing incredible restraint considering what was being offered to him.

"Kathryn you know I won't do that, not when you're not yourself." Tom said capturing her hand before it ventured underneath her clothes. Tom knew that Kathryn in her right mind would be mortified if she had done anything like that in front of him. Tom was not going to be responsible for any kind of embarrassment.

"But I am myself Tom, don't you see, this is what I would be like if I didn't worry about protocol all the time. Hold myself back from expressing my emotions because of some silly rules, God dam it I am a normal woman you know and I have needs." Kathryn said her voice rising in anger, her cheeks flushing a dangerous red colour and for a moment Tom thought she was going to pass out. Clutching hold of her shoulders Tom kept Kathryn steady as she swayed slightly on her feet, her eyes became unfocused for a moment before returning to his own and giving him a half smile.

"I know Kathryn, and I don't know how you went all those years without someone to hold you. God knows I needed someone, we all did, but you, you kept yourself out of arms reach. And there isn't a day goes past that I wish you hadn't." Tom said no longer afraid to look at her, if she was able now to share her thoughts with him, then he could at least do the same for her.

"I wanted to you know, I wanted to let someone in." Kathryn replied allowing herself to lean on Tom's chest as her hair started to cling to her damp forehead. Tom brushed it away with his fingers as Kathryn let out another small moan.

"I would have let you in Tom, I just didn't think you were interested." She said almost so quietly that Tom did not hear them. But hear them he did and he pushed her away from him slightly so he could look down at her eyes. Tom was not sure if she was delirious or if she was telling him the truth, he was also unsure if he would get a straight answer from her either way.

"Maybe we should have both opened our eyes." Tom replied as Kathryn licked her lips slowly and ran her hands through her hair, arching her back towards him as she did so. Creating a very tantalising angle with her body. Tom wasn't sure if she did it on purpose or not, but the effect was almost immediate. Tom wanted to kiss her so badly it almost hurt. A thought flashed through his mind, what if this thing that Kathryn had was contagious, what if he too were infected, how was he supposed to keep away from her then?

"Tom touch me please, make the ache go away." Kathryn said pulling him out of his thoughts as her finger ran up his chest until it lifted his chin so he was looking at her once more. Tom shook his head, both to clear it and to respond to her question.

"No Kathryn I can't do that, you know I can't you're not yourself, I won't take advantage of you like that." Tom said now taking a step away from her, realising that she had once again manoeuvred him in to a corner.

"You won't be Tom I want this, I want you. How could you possibly be taking advantage of me." Kathryn said moving closer her eyes seemed even more unfocused now as she placed both hands palms down on his rapidly expanding and contacting chest. Attempting to not hyperventilate Tom took her tiny wrists in his hands and pulled her over to the bio bed. Virtually placing her on it he pushed her down and ran a few scans. He was worried by what he saw there. Her temperature was sky high, hormone levels were off the chart and her heat rate was dangerously fast.

"Kathryn you have to hold on ok, the Doc will be back soon and I am sure he will have found something out." Tom said as Kathryn wiggled about on the bio bed, soft moans escaping her lips. Half sounded like she was in pain, the others were more like the ones Tom had only dreamt of hearing from her.

"Too late, have to do something now." Kathryn said her murmurings finally making sense to Tom's ears as he stood over her looking down at her prone form. It was pretty evident that was ever this was worked fast, and it was unlikely that there was anything wrong with him. No all his feelings and thoughts were all his own, it was a shame that Tom could not say the same about Kathryn.

"What do you mean too late?" Tom said hoping that she was simply rambling in her altered state, but something was telling him she was not.

"Have to have you Tom, you have to help me or it will consume me." Kathryn said as realisation hit Tom. He may not have been a Doctor, but he knew enough to know that whatever this was, was driving Kathryn to mate. For what reason Tom was uncertain, probably something to do with this planet, but he had a sneaking suspicion that this was only going to end one of two ways.

"Kathryn what do you feel?" Tom asked he had to know, he had to be sure before he did this. Tom would do anything to save her life, even if it meant sacrificing their relationship and his dignity along the way.

"I need you Tom, I need you to touch me, I can't control it any more I thought I could but I can't." Kathryn said and Toms stepped back. Need was not a word he wanted to here, it made her sound desperate, not how he wanted her to be when and if she finally allowed him in to her life completely.

"I can give you what you need Kathryn, but is it what you want?" tom asked as her hands moved across her own body once more. The friction only seemed to cause her more pain though and Tom's heart almost broke at the sight. She looked at him now though, at his words her movements stopped and she regarded him with almost clear eyes. For the briefest of moments he saw Kathryn again, the Kathryn he knew, not the one now. Whether it was what he wanted to see or if it was really there, Tom could not be sure.

"It's what I have always wanted Tom." She said and her words made Tom's last shred of resolve crumble. Bending his head down he captured her lips with his own. Her body melting under his touch like he had always wanted it to. Running his fingers through her hair he felt her hands wrap around his waist trying to pull him closer. Tom understood her need, but he wanted to take this slowly, to savour ever second for it might be his one and only chance. Letting his lips trail along her neck he reached the collar of her shirt and he pulled it aside as she rolled her head to give him better access. As he tasted her sweet skin he couldn't help but smile at the quite humming now coming from her. Almost like a purr it vibrated through her body and onto his lips.

Running a hand up her side he cupped one breast in his hand and marvelled at the weight and feel of it. Her hardened nipple taught against his palm as he reclaimed her mouth with his own. Her hands were running along his back intent on un-tucking his shirt so she could feel his bare skin against her own. Tom made no effort to stop her as he began unbuttoning her own shirt. Inch by inch of creamy skin was revealed to him, the smooth sides of her breasts dusky in his shadow begged to be kissed. Leaning down to do just that Tom was ripped away from the moment by a loud shout.

"Dam it I can't leave you alone for five minutes!"

"Doc, this isn't I mean it is what it looks like, but I thought it was the only way to save her life." Tom said stepping back form a now distraught Kathryn Janeway. She was reaching for him, seemingly unaware of the Doc's presence.

"What you think Mr Paris and what is actually reality, are usually two quite different things." The Doctor said moving himself between Tom and Kathryn. He looked down at his patient and was worried by what he saw. It was obvious her condition had worsened since he had left, she was now even less coherent than he imagined and he knew it had to do with what he had just walked in on.

"It's ok Admiral, I know how to treat it now. I had to check several different plants, but it seems that the cure was located in the plant itself." The Doc said pulling out what looked like a tube of brown liquid from inside his medical case. Inserting into a hypo spray the Doc pushed it against Kathryn's neck. He stood back as Kathryn's writhing died down and she became silent. Her body still but still looked pained.

"She will be sensitive for a few days but that will get rid of the worst of the hormonal imbalance." The Doc said as Tom moved up to his side and looked down at her.

"I couldn't help it Doc she was." Tom stopped short there as the Doc's hand rested on his shoulder.

"If it had been any one else they would have succumbed long ago. And that goes for both of you. The hormone rush this plant creates is almost impossible to ignore, it's as strong as the ponfar in its ability to cloud judgement and drive the infected to mate. I am sure her need affected you more than you realised, I am just glad I arrived when I did." The Doc said getting out his medical triquarter and running it over Kathryn again. He seemed pleased with the results as Tom watched him move away and place the device down on the bench.

"I am afraid however the virus would not have gone away with you granting the Admirals wish." The Doc said with a small smile as he lead Tom out into the back of the flyer and left Kathryn in piece to sleep.

"It would have migrated to your body, causing both of you to become infected. You see every virus lives to replicate its self, passing from person to person until it can grow no more. This virus is no different. It just has unusual consequences, I am just glad I got here in time to prevent that." The Doctor smiled at Tom as they stopped at the open access tube they had been working in before all this madness kicked off.

"Well then I am glad to Doc, so what do you say we fix this cloak and get the hell out of here?"

Hope that was ok, not too much off topic, but if you will go walking around alien planets things do have a tendency to go wrong. Next time: can Tom and Kathryn get their friendship back, or did it all go just a bit too far, was too much said? And now they have their new cloak will they find what they have been searching for? Thank you for reading XxX


	19. Chapter 19

Sorry for keeping you waiting, as ever please enjoy.

Kathryn woke up, not slowly, stretching her arms and fluttering her eyes with the start of a new day, but shot up like a red alert had just been sounded. For a moment she was back on Voyager, the familiar hum of a starship engine beneath her, the subtle but ever present feeling of flying. But something felt wrong, sitting up it was then Kathryn realised that she was in fact not on Voyager at all but on Tom's new flyer. Looking down at herself she realised that she was in a standard issue sick bay gown, and she could not remember putting it on.

Placing a hand to her face Kathryn felt the memories start to wash over her. Like climbing into a bath inch by inch until fully submerged in the hot water. She remembered going for a walk on the planet, having a brief fight with Tom and then getting caught in that bush. After that the memories seemed strange. Like she had been drunk, but the effect had been far more powerful than any alcohol she ever remembered drinking.

Then she remembered the feelings of lust, it reddened her cheeks even alone in the modified cargo hold of the flyer, it made her heart flutter even now. The knowledge of what she wanted to do, and who she wanted to do it with, only made her heart pound harder. Before Kathryn could look any deeper into the memory the door opened and the Doctor walked in.

"Are you're awake I see." He said going over to the bench and picking up what Kathryn could only assume was a medical tri quarter. Her suspicions were confirmed when he approached her and began scanning her all over. His mumblings as he did so only causing Kathryn to frown as he finally put the instrument down and looked at her.

"Well your fever is down and your hormone levels are almost back to normal." The Doc said with a small smile as Kathryn pulled on her gown to straighten it somewhat.

"How do you feel?" He asked her and Kathryn wasn't sure how to answer that question at first. Physically she felt fine, but her mind was racing at the prospect of what had happened.

"I feel fine." She said settling for the party line, not willing to go into all of that with the holographic man. Even after all these years she could not open up to him about personal matters, even when it concerned her health.

"Good, my cure must have worked, what do you remember?" he said looking at her and Kathryn almost said everything. The word died on her tongue though, and for one of the first times in her life she chose to bare face lie to a person she trusted.

"Nothing, well nothing beyond going for a walk on the planet." Kathryn said, she knew it would be easier for all of them if they thought she knew nothing of what happened. Kathryn however was not used to lying, oh it was easy when dealing with saving the lives of your crew. Or getting your ship out of harm's way, but she preferred to think of that as diplomatic flare, this was different, but she had done it now, it was something Kathryn was sure she could learn to love with.

"Humm well I didn't expect a full memory loss, but I guess it may come back to you in time." The Doctor said secretly kind of glad Kathryn didn't remember anything. Tom was already on the edge with worry about what would happen when the Admiral woke up. Now at least he would be spared the embarrassment of having to explain why what happened, happened.

"OK Doc, do you think I could get out of here now, I could use a shower." Kathryn said, holding back on asking how Tom was. She knew if she was supposed to remember nothing, she was hove no reason to enquire after his wellbeing.

"Of course, I think you will be pleased with our progress, we seemed to have gotten a lot done whist you have been asleep." The Doc said with a playful grin which Kathryn chose to ignore as she stood up on shaky legs. Holding herself upright by using the bed, Kathryn flinched slightly when the Doc placed a hand on her arm for support.

"You have been asleep for almost an entire day, you must give your body a chance to recover." He said knowing that she wouldn't listen to him, but the Doctor in him had to try anyway.

"Fine I will sit down in the shower." Kathryn conceded as she straightened herself and walked slowly but steadily towards the door. Going through it Kathryn did not look towards the forward section of the flyer. She pulled clean clothes from her bunk and went straight to the sonic shower, closing the door to shut out the world. Leaning back on the wall Kathryn allowed her eyes to slip closed and breathed in a long slow calming breath. It did little to settle her.

"Get a grip Kathryn, you are about to face the Borg one on one, you can handle a little sexual tension." She berated herself as she switched on the sonic shower and pulled off the gown.

Tom had been waiting nervously for the Doc to return, he knew by the voice he could here coming from behind him that Kathryn was awake. He tapped his hand on his chair and sifted uncomfortably in the seat. Not being able to focus on anything right now he gave up looking at his readouts and concentrated on the voices behind him. They were too muffled however for him to make out actual words. When the door opened Tom stiffened, unable to move he also held his breath until he heard the door to the sonic shower close.

Breathing in much needed oxygen Tom jumped as the Doc sat down with a thump in the seat next to him.

"I thought you were a Doctor not an assassin." Tom said clutching onto his chest. Hoping to prevent his heart from bursting through it at the sudden shock.

"I am." The Doctor replied looking at Tom who frowned at him.

"Well you almost killed me, creeping up like that." Tom said as the Doc gave him a withering look before facing forward again.

"I think that had more to do with your current anxiety about Admiral Janeways recovery, and what might proceed it. Let me reassure you Mr Paris, it seems she remembers nothing, you are as you would say. Off the hook. Although this does not mean her memory will never return, but for now perhaps it's better that we allow her to recover her memories slowly, and try to act normal around her." The Doctor said in his I know you are stupid and try to understand me tone. Tom acknowledged him only with a nod of his head, returning to his course corrections and sensor scans. There was something about this that made him feel uneasy, as to what it was, he did not know yet, and Tom was almost certain that when Kathryn returned he would have a hard time looking her in the eye.

Kathryn had taken her time in the sonic shower, but she knew there was only so long she could hide in there until it became obvious that that was what she was doing. Dressed now in a crisp dark blue shirt and black pants she stepped out of the sonic shower and walked forwards. She knew she could not put the moment off forever, and as she walked forward she made sure her head was not looking down, that her back was straight, and a small smile placed on her lips. All of it felt false, but it was for now at least necessary.

"Report Tom." She asked in her Captain's voice and there was only one response from her ever diligent officer.

"We are currently at warp 4, heading 316 mark 225 towards the Delta quadrant. Ten light years from our previous position. The cloak is fully operational, but as yet we have been unable to test it as we have not encountered any other ships." Tom read off the report like it was any other day on Voyager, so practiced it almost sounded like the computer had been saying it, not a living human being. Kathryn noted his tone also, she knew she would have to be the one to break the tension. After all she knew nothing right?

"Ok that's great, so what do you say we go and find someone to test our cloak on. I believe the science ship Excalibur is on a long range science mission out here, and they have incredibly sensitive sensors, if they can't detect us, my bet is we have a good chance against the Borg." Kathryn patted Tom on the shoulder and smiled at him when he finally looked at her. She could almost feel the tension drain out of him as she did so and with a quick nod she sat back at the tactical station.

"Aye Ma'am, starting long range sensor sweeps for the Excalibur." Tom said forcing himself to relax as his fingers tapped in various coordinates to scan. He could still feel her presence behind him, but in the end knowing that she was going to be ok, was worth all this tension, over something she didn't even seem to remember.

It was over an hour before Tom was able to locate the Excalibur, the Doc had scanned Kathryn again and reported that she had the all clear, he had then returned to the aft section to run a diagnostic on the new armour, making sure it was all in working order. Kathryn and Tom had been left alone with their individual thoughts. Tom had been mostly preoccupied with his sensor sweeps, only the occasional image of Kathryn's welcoming lips invaded his thoughts. He quickly pushed those away and managed to concentrate on what he was doing. Kathryn had no such distraction; her mind was stuck on what had happened in the cargo hold. On how Tom had looked and felt, on the feelings she had been desperately fighting, and ultimately loosing. Now she felt week, like herself control had abandoned her. A control she prided herself on for years had been so easily cut through when faced with such a situation. The thought that something like that could happen again frightened her more than anything, for Kathryn Janeway would not go quietly into the night, over taken by her own bodies hormonal urges. She would go down fighting, preferably in total control of her faculties.

When Tom found the Excalibur he shouted excitedly to both his companions. Kathryn moved to the navigational chair, while the Doctor moved to tactical. It was a welcome distraction for Kathryn who was starting to get decidedly annoyed with herself over lying to the Doctor about remembering nothing. The arrival of the federation science vessel on the scanners provided Kathryn with the just the thing she needed. Something to do.

"Ok Tom bring us in close, start with five thousand kilometres and fly right passed them." Kathryn said as tom did as he was asked and they all watched the Excalibur's movements on the view screen.

"No indication that they saw us." Tom said as he arched the flyer round waiting for his next orders.

"Ok take us to three thousand kilometres and hold position of their Starboard flank." Kathryn said looking at her readouts. The Excalibur had not altered course or initiated any sensors sweeps at their fly by, it was a promising start, but they needed more. The Borg could have developed anything in the time Voyager had returned. Kathryn knew this above all else. Never underestimate the Borg, even if the last time you did almost wipe them out.

"Ok hold position Mr Paris." Kathryn said as the view screen was full of the Excalibur, they were so close, tom could almost make out the people walking along the corridors. Going about their duties, completely unaware of what was going on around them.

"Any indication that they have spotted us Tom?" Kathryn said looking at her own readouts, but wanting confirmation from him.

"No nothing, not even a twitch." Tom replied now looking at her with the first genuine smile he had all day. Kathryn returned it briefly before facing the view screen again.

"I guess it's as good as we are going to get, until we encounter the real thing that is." Kathryn said as Tom pointed the flyers nose at the Delta quadrant and set course once more. Kathryn did not question his choice of speed or direction. She had trusted him for seven years to fly her straight and true, she wasn't about to question him now. Sitting back in her chair she let out a sigh, trying to hold in the yawn that crept up on her Kathryn was caught by the Doctor.

"Maybe you should consider getting some rest Admiral, you have been through a pretty rough couple of days." He said giving her, this is not a suggestion look Kathryn could do nothing but pat her thighs and stand up.

"I guess I am a little tired." She admitted and Tom almost said something about it before he quickly closed his mouth and thought better of it. Watching her move back towards her bunk he jumped again when the Doctor placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Perhaps you should get some sleep as well." He said his voice soft and for once Tom could see humility in his face. Choosing not to question it Tom stood up and relinquished his seat to the Doc. Pausing midway Tom turned and looked at the bald head staring at the consol.

"Thanks Doc." He said, it was met only with a smile flashed over the holograms shoulder as Tom turned and climbed into his bunk. Leaving the curtains open as usual he pulled off his outer clothes and settled down. Exhaustion took over quickly and he couldn't keep his eyes open, wanting to see if Kathryn joined him, and praying that she wouldn't at the same time Tom descended into sleep.

Kathryn knew that Tom would wonder where she was, and it was bound to raise a suspicion about what she remembered. None the less she couldn't bring herself to go to him, lying down and closing her eyes, Kathryn fell asleep alone for the first time since this all began.

Can they afford to pull apart now? Will Kathryn's lie finally come back to haunt her, and was she right about never under estimating the Borg? Reviews are cherished and make me write faster, so Thank you for reading XxX


	20. Chapter 20

The snow is thick on the ground here, but I am now finally back in the warm, and can once again fill you in on the next chapter. Please as ever enjoy.

Kathryn woke up with a start, as she sat up though she realised that something was very wrong. The iridescent green glow around her was not that of the flyer. The buzz of machinery, and the black and green computer consoles that surrounded her brought Kathryn to her feet quickly. She recognised this, she had been here before, or at least somewhere very similar. The Borg vessel she was on appeared to be empty however as she scanned the area around her. Long corridors, and vast amounts of regeneration units stood empty. Turning quickly Kathryn felt for a moment as though the world were trying to catch up. Her eyes moving faster than her brain could process, but how could that be? Taking a step forward as her vision cleared she peered into the darkness, seeing nothing but hazy images she felt like she were suddenly looking through water.

"Captain Janeway"

Snapping round at the sound of her name Kathryn once more had to hold herself steady as the world span before her. Blinking a few times to clear her vision Kathryn moved towards the direction of the voice.

"Captain Janeway, so interesting to see you again."

The voice seemed to be coming from everywhere now, Kathryn stopped and looked around her, so far she could see no one, but there was something very familiar about that voice. Something she knew was impossible.

"Who's there?" Kathryn called, her voice came out rough, like she hadn't used it in a while and she coughed slightly to clear it.

"Oh but I think you know Captain, you knew the moment you woke up, you just didn't want to believe what you were seeing."

Kathryn turned around more slowly this time, allowing her eyes to follow the line of sight until they rested on a female Borg. A Borg Kathryn had assumed was dead for two years now. The queen walked forward, her cybernetic parts making their usual hissing noises as she moved. Kathryn fixed her eyes on the queens face and did not drop her gaze, even when the Borg was right in front of her.

"What do you want with me?" Kathryn demanded as the queen almost prowled round her, as though she was trying to size her up.

"Oh I would have thought that obvious. We know of your plan, we have been monitoring your ship. It is only now you are closer I have been able to tap into your unconscious mind. I have to say what I found there was strange." The queen said with a slight smirk. Kathryn realised that if the Borg had tried this the previous time she had been asleep, whist under the influence of that alien plant. The queen must have been very confused.

"I am surprised to see you at all. Last time we met you died." Kathryn said deciding not to go into the other issue and get right to the point. Knowing now that she was not in fact on a Borg cube and this was all going on inside her head. Gave Kathryn all the liberty she needed to say what she wanted.

"Indeed Captain, you did a fine job of eliminating my predecessor. However for every one of us you destroy there are thousands of others ready to replace them. You will never truly be rid of us, resistance is futile." The queen said raising her hand to Kathryn's face and making her look directly at her. The paleness of the Borg's eye's made Kathryn shiver, the absence of any compassion, and feeling at all was what she would always remember about her, or any one before her.

"Maybe but it won't stop me trying, and by the way it's Admiral now." Kathryn said as the queen dropped her grip and moved back a stride.

"Then consider this your warning Admiral, we are coming to Earth, your species have been a thorn in our side for too long. It still amazes me how a species as primitive as yours has managed to thwart us so many times, but now it will end. I am giving you this chance to turn around, find a new home, and you may live the rest of your life in piece. But mark my words Admiral Earth and all those that reside there will be assimilated." Her voice hardened as she spoke, a flicker of anger slid across the Borg's face before it was gone Kathryn saw it. She had seen anger from this being before, it was the one emotion she seemed to have in abundance, and now it was being aimed at her people. At Starfleet, at everything she held dear.

"No, if you want to get to Earth you will have to go through me." Kathryn said looking now at the Borg queen, taking a deep breath and folding her arms.

"You will die." She replied but there was something in her voice that told Kathryn that even as she said it, the queen did not believe it.

"Perhaps, but the reason our primitive species has managed to survive all this time is because we don't turn a run, we don't roll over at the first sign of danger we sand and protect our way of life. To the last man if necessary, and this time will be no different." Kathryn said as the Borg queen moved close again, staring down at Kathryn her face hard and her eyes fixed.

"Your single ship cannot prevail against my armada of hundreds, I am offering you the chance to save yourself, and your crew." The queen stated as Kathryn allowed a half smile to form on her face, the look made the queen take a step backwards as Kathryn placed her hands on her hips.

"Why let us go, I thought resistance was futile? No I think you're scared of us, you know we have something that can destroy you. Your attempt to put me off will not work. And this time when we meet, only one of us will be going home again." Kathryn said as her world faded to black. Her body felt like it was falling. Gasping in a quick breath Kathryn snapped open her eyes to the sight of Tom looking at her.

"Kathryn, Kathryn, are you ok?" Tom said looking at her with concern in his eyes as his hands rested on her shoulders. Pulling herself upright in bed Kathryn lowered her head slightly and calmed her breathing. She was slightly disorientated after the whole experience and she needed a moment. Tom's hand rubbing her shoulder was both comforting and distracting at the same time.

"I'm ok, I just had a little visit from our friendly Borg queen." Kathryn said finally placing her hand over Tom's and stopping his caress. Taking his larger hands in her own she held them in front of her and looked up into his eyes.

"What! How?" Tom said taken back by what she had just said but not questioning her on if it were true or not.

"She tapped into my dreams somehow, who knows, it's been two years, they could have assimilated a lot of abilities in that time." Kathryn said allowing Tom to sit next to her on her bunk as she made room for him. Tom looked over at Kathryn, her face was pale and her hands shook slightly, he knew whatever had happened and been said had shaken her. Tom wanted to hold her, but the recent events prevented him from doing so. Whether it was fear that he may awaken some forgotten memory in her. Or fear that he wouldn't be able to let go Tom was unsure, but for now him main priority was to find out exactly what the Borg queen had said.

"So shall I take it that they are coming?" Tom questioned after a short period of silence that seemed to have stretched on endlessly, although it was probably less than a minute.

"Yeah, you can, but maybe we should go forward and fill the Doctor in at the same time, you know how much I hate repeating myself." Kathryn said with a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Tom was glad she could smile though, at least it was a step in the right direction. Getting up with her Tom watched her for a moment as she almost visibly gathered herself. Straightening out her shoulder and tilting her chin up so she could at least appear in complete control. If this had been back on voyager Tom would not have seen any of this, it would have all taken place inside her ready room, he would have only seen the polished article as she made her way to her chair on the bridge. There had been a few times when he saw through that finely polished veneer, each time he had chosen to ignore it. To continue on as though he was certain that his Captain was indeed invincible. Today was not one of those days.

Grabbing hold of her hand he stopped her forcing her to turn and look at him, in the moment their eyes met, Tom knew there was something Kathryn was hiding from him.

"You know you can talk to me, that you're not alone Kathryn, however much you may think that." Tom said as Kathryn pulled her hand away from him slowly shaking her head slightly at Tom's statement.

"Maybe we can talk later Tom, but for right now, you and the Doc need to hear what I have to say." With that she was gone, tom had no option but to follow her forwards and to for now do as she asked.

Kathryn did not go into fine detail about what had happened with the Borg queen. She gave them the gist of what had happened, telling them about the queens obvious fear of what they had on board that might stop her from getting to Earth. The Doc had run a scan on Kathryn much to her protest, but it came back normal. The flyers long range scanners showed nothing in the way of Borg vessels, or of any trans warp activity.

"She did say they had only just entered range, it is possible that their sensors are far more sensitive than ours." Tom said looking back over his shoulder and not wanting to mention the fact that he was scared that the Borg could sense them at all.

"How could they find us at this distance through the clock?" The Doctor said obviously unafraid of the elephant in the room.

"Maybe they didn't." Kathryn said looking at the pair of them from the navigational seat, both men looking back at her in surprise.

"I mean maybe she just sensed us, or more precisely me. It made her scared that she couldn't locate the ship, which prompted her little invasion." Kathryn said the pieces suddenly falling into place, the way in which the queen had contacted her. The ease at which she had suggested their freedom if they fled now.

"She can't find us and she can't figure out why." Kathryn said more to herself than anyone else, but both Tom and the Doc heard her and nodded their heads in agreement.

"So what now?" Tom asked looking again at his scanners but coming up blank.

"We continue on as if nothing happened, we will find them eventually, at least now that I am sure of." Kathryn said getting up and yawning. They had only been asleep a matter of hours before she was awakened, a sleep that had been less than restful for her. Exhaustion was now creeping up on her once more and she could not supress the yawn.

"I think I am going to try and catch a few more hours sleep, wake me if anything happens." Kathryn said moving back to her bunk again, but knowing she was being followed.

Tom had gotten up to, leaving the Doc to fly the flyer, the request went unsaid as the two men parted company and Tom quickly caught up with Kathryn. He watched as she pondered over her own bunk. It was as though she needed to sleep but was scared to in case the queen made a return visit. Tom placed his hand on her shoulder and turned her around.

"You know I would feel better if you were over here with me." He said saving her from asking him, and although recent memories of her were still fresh in his mind. Tom knew he could block them out for her sake, at least for one night.

"Ok." She stated simply the gratitude in her eyes went unspoken as Tom climbed into his bunk and left space for Kathryn beside him. She leant against his front, allowing the warmth of his body to comfort her as her mind ran in turmoil. The knowledge that the Borg were worried did little to calm her nerves. The queen had not been exaggerating when she had mentioned an armada, of that Kathryn was sure of. The flyer could probably take a out a few ships before it was discovered. Maybe a few more after that, but how many could they take out altogether, probably not enough to stop the final invasion of Earth.

"Tom if they get through, Earth will have no way of stopping them, we took the technology to destroy them with us, and they refused to admit that the Borg coming was even a possibility." Kathryn said as Tom pulled her in closer. She could feel his heart beating at her back and she turned her head slightly so she could see him.

"Then maybe we should think about letting them know that you were right all along, to help them prepare." Tom suggested but he knew the logistics of that were difficult. Not only were they almost a week away by subspace message, but the Borg may be able to intercept the message and either erase it or use it to pin point the flyers location.

"It's an idea, one we will work on, but in the morning yeah." Kathryn said her voice almost fading as she drifted off into sleep. Tom settled down behind her and was glad that she was here with him again, they couldn't afford to fall apart now, they needed one another, no matter what had happened to them in the past.

As Kathryn drifted off into sleep her thoughts seemed to drift around from plan to plan until in her unconscious state an abstract thought popped into her head. One she thought she had encountered before. When and where eluded her right now, but it was there all the same.

Something she couldn't feel, couldn't see, and couldn't reach out and grasp, but Kathryn knew it was thee all the same. A force so powerful it destroyed nations, and rebuilt them again, and enemy and an ally that you could neither count on nor defeat. Time the one thing that didn't stand still for anyone, and Kathryn wondered in all the time she had been stuck in an office, looking up at the stars and thinking about her days back on Voyager just what the Borg had been planning, what advancements they had made, and what finally made them decide to attack Earth. Her life had changed almost as suddenly as the grey hair starting to appear in her auburn locks. Something that happened overnight, some fundamental shift in her body and her thoughts about what had been done, and what she still needed to do. It had all brought her to this moment, in the one person's arms she knew she could forever feel safe in. Was it like that single grey hair, one moment that had brought her and Tom together or had it been a culmination of things, of things she had avoided on Voyager, things she had denied for years, but could deny no longer only now to be placed in danger again by the threat of what was to come.

Kathryn rolled over half awake at her minds wanderings, she buried herself in Tom's chest and soothed herself with the sound of his breathing. For now that was all she could do, for time no longer seemed to be on their side.

As ever feedback is highly appreciated and I am thrilled with all the response and hits this story is getting. Thank you for reading XxX


	21. Chapter 21

Sorry for the delay, horrible weather over in sunny old England has made work that much harder. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Kathryn's night went uninterrupted on the second time of trying, she woke up to an empty bed however as she drifted towards consciousness. Briefly wondering how long she had been asleep, Kathryn sat up and allowed the coverers to fall away from her body. It was probably the first time she had woken up feeling well rested for quite a while. The ship hummed beneath her alerting her to the fact that they were still at warp. It was unlikely that they had found the Borg yet given their current speed. Placing her feet on the floor Kathryn stood up and stretched her aching muscles, she wasn't getting any younger and the recent activity was starting to take its toll on her body.

Hearing no noise coming from the forward section of the flyer, Kathryn allowed herself a small frown to fall on her face. Tom was a chatty person by nature, often it had been his voice on the bridge that filled the silent moments. The Doctor to was not afraid to fill the air with the sound of his own voice, Kathryn often wondered if he enjoyed his own inane chatter as much as she loathed it. The silence between the two now was disconcerting. It made Kathryn wonder if something had happened during her slumber. Deciding that whatever it was had not been important enough to wake her, therefore could wait until she had got herself dressed.

Tom sat next to the Doctor who seemed engrossed in his Padd, he had made no move to talk to Tom since he has woken up earlier that morning, and for now Tom was content with that. He had been unsure when he had woken up about what to do. For as much as he wanted to stay and hold Kathryn his mind would not allow him to relax back into her embrace. It was easier before, Tom didn't know what he had been missing, the line between being good friends and something more was very clear and very real. Now he had felt that other side of her, the woman unleashed if only for a moment, that line had not only become blurred, but almost entirely erased. Once awake Tom grew more and more nervous that Kathryn would wake up and discover just how much that she affected him. Moving away carefully from her as not to disturb her Tom had gone to the front section of the flyer and unceremoniously dropped himself in the navigational chair. The Doctor had barely looked at him, merely giving him a cursory glance, before his attention was returned to the sensors.

Almost out of habit Tom asked for a report but the Doctor had nothing of interest to tell him. The conversation had ended abruptly there, neither one offering up another topic of conversation until Tom requested to swap seats. The Doctor obliged with a small smile picking up the Padd he had been reading and moving deftly across to the opposite chair.

"I am glad the Admiral seems to be able to sleep again." The Doctor said almost out of the blue as Tom ran his own scans after they had swapped seat. There was something in the Doctor's tone that almost had a grateful quality to it. Tom turned his head and looked at the Doctor who seemed to have gone back to reading his Padd and Tom wondered if the Doc had required a response at all.

"Yeah I think she really needed it." Tom said finally feeling like it was the standard response to such a question. That was unless he wanted to open a can of worms he would rather keep closed right now. Plus if he was going address the issue of his and Kathryn's sleeping arrangements it would be with her. Not the Doc. As that thought filtered across his mind Tom could here movement from behind him. The subtle swish of the sheets and the sound of bare feet padding around was almost loud in the silence of the ship. Tom was again filled with mixed emotions. He wanted to see Kathryn, talk to her and enjoy her company. But his heart hammered in his cheat, and his fingers tapped the console in a nervous response to her impending arrival. It was silly he had known this woman for a decade, he had seen her in every situation known to man, and yet because he had seen desire in her eyes, desire that had been aimed at him. Now along with the feelings of contentment when she was around, was also the feeling of trepidation. His thoughts were cut short by the alert sirens going off on his console.

"Tom what's going on?" Kathryn barked almost appearing out of nowhere as soon as the klaxon sounded. Tom's hands flew over the console trying to figure out what was setting off all the alarms.

"I'm not sure." He replied as the Doctor moved over to let Kathryn in to the navigational chair. He moved back towards tactical as Kathryn sat down and immediately hitting the mute button for the klaxon. She couldn't concentrate with all that noise going off around her. Maybe it was the close quarters, maybe it was just the stress of knowing what was waiting for them, or perhaps it was just the rush of adrenaline, but Kathryn's nerves were beyond frayed. Without the time to contemplate her anguished body chemistry Kathryn finally found the cause of the sirens.

"Looks like we are not as alone out here as we thought, the long range sensors have picked up what looks like a dissipating ion trail." Kathryn said trying to get a better read on the signature.

"Tom get us closer I can't tell from here what ship it came from." Kathryn said without looking at him, but she knew he would do as she asked without question. As the flyer approached the signature Kathryn looked over her readings a few more times.

"It's too degraded to get an accurate reading, but it appears to be leading towards a planet a few light years from here." Kathryn said finally looking up and connecting her gaze with Tom. He looked back at her his eyes trying to read the emotion behind the mask she had once again erected. The moment however was interrupted by the sound of the Doctor.

"Could it be Borg?" He enquired and the question was not only legitimate but also relevant. The moment forgotten up at the helm Kathryn turned back to her readouts and shook her head.

"I can't rule it out." She replied turning to look at the Doctor briefly before directing her gaze forwards once more.

"Then may I suggest we follow it. If the queen knows we are looking for her, we may have altered her plan of attack. For whatever reason that planet may be some kind of power source, or base of operations." The Doctor said looking at the back of two heads, neither of which turned to acknowledge him for a moment.

"Yeah and it could be a Tar kalian merchant vessel delivering supplies, the Borg might fly right passed us as we check this out." Tom said finally turning his chair so he was looking at both his companions now. He wasn't sure which way Kathryn was leaning right now, her face remained and emotionless slate as she sat there and looked at her sensors again. For the briefest of moments he was back on Voyager, back almost at the beginning of their journey when they had been faced with a similar dilemma. They had tracked a Kazon vessel into a nebula; one they had believed contained Seska. It was after extensive scans and a lot of waiting later, they had tracked an ion trail away from the nebula. Following it they had almost been destroyed by a waiting armada of Kazon ships. It had been a trap, but the expression on Kathryn's face back then had been the same. To continue on their journey, or follow the trail knowing it could put them in danger. If Tom knew Kathryn at all, and he had reason to believe he did, he knew they would be following that trail.

"How long will it take us to reach that planet at maximum warp?" Kathryn asked after a moment, and the Doctor answered her before Tom could even check on the data. He had the sneaking suspicion that the Doc had come to the same conclusion as himself.

"Six hours, that is assuming they did indeed stop at the planet." The Doc pointed out as Kathryn gave him a raised eyebrow over her shoulder before sitting back in her chair.

"Ok we check out the planet, if we find nothing there then we will continue on our previous course." Kathryn said knowing that both her companions had already figured out what she was going to do. She had seen the look on Tom's face, and the speed at which the Doctor had answered her inquiry. The course was laid in and the flyer was off almost before Kathryn had finished speaking, the ion trail there only guild to where they were going at this point. They had no idea what they were going to find at the other end, but this is why they joined Starfleet wasn't it, to explore the unknown. Load knows the three people in that flyer had taken that part of their duties to the next level and beyond. Now they were just doing it again, this time to perhaps preserve their very existence.

Kathryn had retired to the aft section, she was running an analysis on the ion trail, trying to get a better idea of what ship, or how many ships had made it. The quite was something that once was her friend, now seemed to be an oppressive force bearing down on her shoulders. It had been too long and to frequent on this journey to be a comfort now and as the door hissed open behind her, Kathryn turned round to welcome the distraction.

"Doctor." She said half surprised, half curious. She was almost certain that her visitor would have been Tom. The look on the Doctors' face however was one of serious contemplation. Something Kathryn had not often seen in her holographic friend.

"I have been thinking for a while now about your memories Admiral, I have also come to the conclusion that you have been lying." He said his usual arrogance of absolute certainly seemed to waver as he spoke. A slight pause in his artificial breath alerted Kathryn to that fact, it did not however stop her from standing upright and placing her hand on her hips.

"Lying Doctor, on what do you base that?" she snapped, feeling both angry about being questioned, and guilty for being found out.

"You never asked me what happened to you. It used to be your first question, wanting all the information you could obtain, usually in the shortest amount of time possible. You didn't ask Mr Paris either, in fact you have been distancing yourself from him in recent days. Something in contradiction to past events. You had been using him as your support, your council and your moral compass. A function you had previously sought in either commander Tuvok, or Chacotay. My only conclusion is that you do in fact remember everything about what happened when you were under the influence of the virus." The Doctor concluded and Kathryn almost had to sit down. Forcing herself to remain upright and face the consequences of the Doctors discovery she allowed her hands to drop from her hips. It was a simple gesture of defeat, but effect none the less.

"So you know, does Tom?" Kathryn enquired as the Doctor approached her. He looked down into her eyes and for a moment Kathryn swore she could see admiration there. It was quickly replaced by a look of concentration as the Doctor thought about his reply.

"No I don't think so, not consciously, but he is struggling with his own feelings right now. Figuring out yours is something he is not capable of right at this moment." He said placing one hand on Kathryn's shoulder. She looked down at it, wanting to shrug it off and allow it to support her at the same time.

"Then I think it should stay that way. We are going into a difficult situation, and dragging all this up now is not a good idea." Kathryn said finally allowing the Doctor to hold her shoulder, but not leaning on him either.

"I came here to offer you some advice Admiral, as your friend, not your physician. Even if the results could be beneficial to your mental health." The Doctor was rambling and Kathryn found herself loosing patients with him, almost irrationally so and she had to quell the rising emotions inside her.

"Go on." Kathryn managed to get out, still sounding reasonable, but she had to consciously relax her fist as the Doctor spoke.

"I think you should tell him, because you may not get another chance." His words made her body relax almost immediately; no longer did she feel the swell of anger inside her, only recognition, that however much it pained her, the Doc was right.

"Perhaps, some things are better left unsaid." Kathryn finally said, no matter how right he was, she still had this mission to consider. She could not have Tom distracted with thoughts of what had happened and how she was feeling about it. The Doctor did not look as though he was about to simply accept her response as he opened his mouth to speak. Kathryn beat him to it however.

"Dismissed Doctor." The tone of her voice denoted that of the order being non-negotiable and the Doctor for once turned and walked towards the door.

"There is one thing I will never get, and that is the human need to punish itself when it comes to love." With that the Doctor left Kathryn alone in the aft compartment, the silence surrounding her still felt oppressive, the Doctors words hung in the air like smoke. Thick and heavy and just as dangerous. Love, but she was not in love with Tom, she had been under the influence of a virus.

"Then why are you so afraid to tell him you remember." Kathryn said to herself out loud breaking the silence in her isolation for a moment. The words did little to comfort her though, they had the effect of making her shudder. Looking once more at her sensor readouts and seeing that she could discern no more information than they already had she switched off the terminal.

"Computer time to destination?" Kathryn asked as she stood alone in the room.

"Two hours twenty one minutes to the destination." It replied as Kathryn pulled subconsciously on her shirt as she approached the door and activated the sensor to open it. Hearing no sounds coming from the forward compartment again, Kathryn now understood the silence between the two. Both were thinking about the same thing, probably for different reasons, but the incident that had happened two days ago had already had a profound effect on her crew. Kathryn could not afford to avoid the situation any longer, but how did you go about telling one of your closest friends that you remember how his body felt. How his lips made your knees tremble and how if they ever got out of this one you would like to try it again. Kathryn did not know the answer to her question, but maybe Tom might.

So will Kathryn face Tom, or will she avoid it again, hoping that in reaching the planet the discussion would be a moot point anyway? Thank you for all the reviews so far please keep them coming and I will endeavour to update as quickly as possible. Thank you for reading XxX.


	22. Chapter 22

No long authors note toady, just enjoy this next chapter.

The Doctor had left the aft section knowing that he had given Kathryn something to think about. He had suspected for a while that she had in fact not lost her memory at all. Finding the time to confront her about it however was the hard part. Out here there were too many times when something was about to happen. Or he couldn't say anything because of the simple fact that he couldn't get her along long enough. The Doc had suspected that Tom had also drawn the same conclusion. Either unwilling or simply in denial about the facts, Tom had merely ignored the facts and chose to believe exactly what Kathryn had told them. The Doctor was well aware of the fact that both of them were trying not to mention what happened for the sake of the mission. What neither of them seemed to acknowledge though was their silence was having a greater effect than the truth ultimately would.

Moving to sit back at the tactical station, the Doctor was not surprised when only a few moments later Kathryn emerged from the aft section. Her unusually slow walk towards the forward section alerted the Doctor to the fact that Kathryn had made a decision. This time Kathryn was taking longer because she was trying to build up the courage to follow his suggestion. Give Kathryn a starship and a hundred Romulan war birds and she would deal with it. Give her one man and feelings to confront however and she has problems. The Doctor shook his head, wondering if a switch kick up the behind would sort this mess out. Or perhaps just encourage the Admiral to decompile him; the Doc was pretty sure she would not need a good excuse at the moment. As Kathryn walked passed him she threw the Doc a look which said, say anything and I will kill you. The Doctor chose to keep his silence, getting up discretely he moved back into the aft compartment out of sight he sat down and tuned his holographic sensors to the two people sat up at the helm. If he had been a normal human being he would not have been able to hear what was being said. But the Doctor was no normal human, he was a hologram, and he could here every word.

Tom almost jumped when Kathryn sat down next to him, he had been lost in thought left alone to think was never a good thing for Tom. He tended to drift into what if scenarios and this time had been no different. He had been wondering what would happen if Kathryn got her memory back, if she remembered how he had taken advantage of her, how he had allowed himself to be overtaken by his hormones. He shuddered at the thought, she trusted him with her life and he had let her down. Tom knew she wouldn't kick him off the mission, not only did she have little choice as they were light years from home, but she did need him. Tom suspected that on some level they had needed each other for a long time, this mission had done the job of bringing them together. But it had been Voyagers decommission that had started it all off. Before that they had both been lonely and unfulfilled in their lives. Their friendship had changed all that, and as Tom sat here now he realised that whether Kathryn remembered or not, that friendship was lost, changed by an event neither of them could have predicted. Her sudden arrival had thrown him out of his thoughts and back to reality. Looking across at Kathryn, Tom could see the look of anguish in her eyes, for a moment it confused him. She had obviously come up here to tell him something, and whatever it was he was sure he wasn't going to like what she had to say.

Kathryn was attempting to calm her nerves, the decision to tell Tom that she remembered everything was not something she was going to do lightly. As she sat down next to him now she found her resolve to tell him crumbling. Her hands shook slightly; she held them tightly together to prevent the shaking to become obvious from the person silting only two feet away. Meeting Tom's gaze Kathryn could tell he knew something was up. They had managed to master wordless communication a long time ago. Most of the time it had been invaluable to their working relationship, now it was being a little uncomfortable sat here in the silence.

"Tom look I have something to tell you, but I want you to know that it will in no way affect our relationship, or the mission." Kathryn started, putting on her best I am an Admiral and I know best voice. It didn't seem to be having the desired effect however as Tom's eyebrows knitted together as he continued to look at her in confusion. Kathryn should have known better than to try the I am your commanding officer and what I say goes tactic on Tom. He had never been someone who brought into all that stuff, even when he had been on Voyager. Yes he was respectful, yes he was obedient, but he also was one of the people who treated her like a real person. Human and fallible, just like any other member of the crew. Why she would expect him to change now after all that had happened Kathryn did not know.

"Look this is not easy to say ok and I know I have not acted well in this particular circumstance. Usually I face my problems head on, deal with them as best I can and move on. You have to understand however this time was a little different, it was more of a personal nature and I was trying to do what I thought best for both of us." Kathryn realised that she was rambling. Tom's face had gone from confusion to concern and now he seemed to be almost uncomfortable sitting so close to her. He had nowhere to go however, Kathryn was blocking his way out and there was only a window into space behind him. Tom's eyes shifted nervously around the cabin, and Kathryn got the distinct impression that he knew what was coming next.

"Kathryn you don't have to justify yourself to me, I understand some things are hard from you, and we are in a tense situation." Tom replied wondering if maybe he could put off this moment, convince her not to tell him what he had suspected all along. From the moment she had walked up to him after waking up from her illness, he had seen it in her eyes. When she had not come to bed with him that night Tom's fears had been confirmed, and even though he pushed the thoughts back, convinced himself that Kathryn did not remember, that it was his imagination, he had known this day was coming. Tom had had the romantic idea that he would confess everything to her as she held him in her arms as he died. His last mutterings being that he loved her, and even if only for his dying movement he saw that love reflected in his eyes, he could have died happy.

This moment too soon and almost business like in its nature, was not what Tom had in mind at all. His words of discouragement hung in the air like an easy access escape hatch. Daring both of them to simply pull the cord and step on through. It was too tempting for Kathryn, Tom's obvious fears about what she was to confess had made her rethink entirely. It was obvious he knew what she was going to say and he did not want to hear it, almost as much as she did not want to speak it.

"Ok Tom your right, but I just want you to know, it changes nothing between us." She said hoping that Tom would read between the lines and accept her flimsy excuse for lying to him. It was at that moment the Doctor broke the uncomfortable tension in the room, virtually exploding on to the deck and interjecting himself in-between the pair.

"For god's sake you two are worse than children. Don't you see not talking to each other is making this worse not better. He likes you, you like him, what on earth is the problem here, dam it I am a Doctor not a couple's therapist." The Doctor raised his hands in defeat as he stepped backwards, leaving the pair open mouth and wide eyed at his little outburst. It was of course Kathryn who regained her composure first. Her hands linking together in her lap as she forced down the urge to knock the Doctor flat on his holographic backside. Standing up and rounding on the Doctor she fixed her icy stare on him, choosing to avoid Tom for the moment in favour of glaring down her out of line Doctor. The gaze however had little effect on him, not that it ever had before, a few years was not going to make a difference there, but Kathryn couldn't help but try anyway.

"Doctor what in hell do you think you are" Her sentence was cut short by the proximity alert sensors going off. The mood in the cabin changed in an instant as they all dashed to check their stations. Tom who was already sitting in the pilots chair got the information first.

"Two Romulan war birds on an intercept course coming up from behind at warp six." Tom said as he checked to see where their course was taking them.

"Romulan's why aren't they cloaked, and what in the blue hell are they doing all the way out here?" Kathryn said as she moved to tactical and also charted their course.

"I guess they weren't expecting company way out here, and my guess as to what they are doing, is as good as yours." Tom replied, his voice holding all the ease it had ever done. Their earlier conversation forgotten in favour of the current crisis.

"Have they detected us?" The Doctor asked as Kathryn noted the course of the war birds would take them within a few thousand feet of the flyer.

"I don't think so, they have not raised shields and their weapons are in active. Hold course Tom and slow to warp 4.5, let them passed and see where they go." Kathryn said knowing that engaging two war birds in battle was not what they had come out here for. Knowing that with their new weapons and armour the war birds would not stand a chance against them, did however make Kathryn feel better about the situation. Showing her hand at this point to the Borg though was not a good idea. If for whatever reason they were the ones on the planet, this could all be some kind of trap to lure them out of hiding.

"Aye Ma'am." Tom said easing the flyer back so that the fast approaching war birds could pass. It took only a few more moments for the war birds to rock the flyer as they swept passed, the wake of their warp filed causing the flyer to momentarily pitch before righting herself again.

"Now that's what I call a close shave." Tom said his smile more from nervous excitement than actual triumph, as he turned and looked at Kathryn briefly before checking on his sensors again.

"Umm Mr Paris I think you spoke too soon." The Doctor said pointing out of the view screen to the two war birds now floating in space as Tom dropped out of warp quickly. Lowering the flyers power emissions and improving their chances of not being detected.

"They must have sensed something, they have no other reason to suddenly stop in the middle of nowhere." Kathryn said as she checked her readouts and confirmed that the Romulan's were indeed scanning the area.

"They are flooding space with tachyon partials, will it penetrate the cloak?" Kathryn asked worried for the first time now as the war birds hung in space, staring right at them, but for the moment, they had no idea they were being watched.

"I'm not sure I doubt it, but perhaps we should power down to be careful." Tom suggested as Kathryn gave him a curt nod to do just that. The flyer went dark, the noise from its idling engine's ceased and the only noise now was the sound of their breathing.

"We could make a run for it, go back into open space and come back later." Tom suggested as they sat there for a while. The Romulan's had not given up their search yet and with each passing second the tension grew thicker inside the flyer.

"No they are up to something out here; whatever it is has something to do with that ion trail we were following. Their behaviour now seems to suggest that it is something they would rather keep secret." Kathryn replied as one of the war birds moved slightly. Moving in a wide arch around them to now sit off their port stern.

"Admiral, sorry but I thought our mission was to find the Borg, not Romulans', perhaps for now we should let them get on with whatever it is they are doing. We could send Starfleet a communication letting them know about the planet and the ships and they can come and deal with them." The Doctor said, moving so he couldn't see the nose of the war bird in his window. Its sharp beak almost took up the entire view port and it was making the Doctor nervous.

"Doctor you're a genius." Kathryn said a plan formulating in her mind as finally the war birds moved off. Having not discovered the flyer and allowing all its occupants to breathe once more.

"Well I always suspected as much Admiral, but it is nice to hear it once on a while." The Doctor said virtually preening in his chair as Tom gave Kathryn a, you know he is going to be unbearable now look. Kathryn merely ignores him and stood up and walked over to where Tom was sitting. Placing her hand on his shoulder she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Continue on previous heading Mr Paris, let's see what these Romulans are up to, and then we will inform Starfleet." Kathryn smiled as Tom set the flyer forwards again and shadowed the pair of war birds. It didn't take long for the planet to come into sensor range; Tom had to check his readings twice before he reported to Kathryn who had gone back to the tactical station.

"I count seven war birds, not including the two we are following in orbit around the planet. Whatever they are doing here, they are doing it with a heck of a lot of ships." Tom said as they dropped out of warp again and took up a position a few thousand kilometres from the planet.

"Tom scan the planet, are there any people down there?" Kathryn enquired as she watched Tom run his scans.

"Yeah I am detecting a small settlement on one of the planets Sothern continents. Can't get an accurate reading of how many, but I would say between fifty and a hundred life forms. All Romulan." Tom said turning to look at the Doctor who was also looking at the readouts.

"Any guesses as to what this is?" Kathryn asked, racking her own brain as to what must be going on here, but coming up blank.

"I would say given the remote location of this planet. Its lack of strategic advantage concerning all Romulan enemies, I would suggest they are looking to start a base closer to the Delta quadrant border." The Doctor said as Kathryn could feel the pieces start to fall together like a jigsaw in her brain.

"They know, or at least they think they know." Kathryn said as Tom looked round at her at the same time as the Doc.

"Know what?" Tom asked as Kathryn rubbed her hand down her face and raised the corner of her mouth slightly. It was a half-smile of sorts but held no humour. Tom had seen that look before and he knew whatever followed it was never good news.

"That the Borg are coming."

Thank you for reading XxX.


	23. Chapter 23

Authors note: For quite sometime I have been considering abandoning this story, it has been so long since I have updated I could not remember where it was going, and had no drive to even think about it. However seen as a few of you seem to be keen for me to continue I have spent all morning thinking about the plot. This is what I have managed to come up with, I hope it is satisfactory.

Tom didn't know whether it was what the Admiral has just said, or the war bird drifting passed the view screen, but a cold shiver ran down his back, causing the hairs on his arms to stand on end. Looking at the others it was obvious that he was not alone in his unease. The Doc was holding onto the back of Janeway's chair with an iron grip, Tom was sure if his knuckles were real they would have indeed been white. Janeway was simply staring out of the view screen, her eyes following the movement of the Romulan ships, until finally coming to rest on the planet before them.

"Doctor do you have the necessary equipment on board to make myself and Tom look like Romulans?" She asked finally turning her head to look inside the cabin.

"No and even if I did, going down there would be suicide." The Doctor replied looking none to happy with Janeway's proposed plan, not only did they not know what they would be walking into, but they had no back up to speak of. No one knew they were out here, and the nearest Star fleet base was over three days away by maximum warp.

"Fine then you will have to go alone Doctor, with a few modifications to your mobile emitter we can make you look like any Romulan we want." Janeway continued, interrupting the Doctors morbid musings and causing him to frown.

"What I'm a Doctor not a insurgency agent." He replied the frown deepening on his already furrowed brow.

"Not today Doc, now we need to find someone suitable." Tom said spinning around in his chair and running his fingers over the computer console. Bringing up all the information they had about the Romulan military. He could here the Doctor sighing behind him, but Tom knew however much he might not want to do this, the Doctor would undertake this mission. It didn't take Janeway long to point out why.

"We need to know what's going on down there Doctor, it could mean we have change our plans with the Borg, or worse abandon it all together, we can't go in with our eyes shut." Janeway said turning to look at the Doctor, softening her features and giving him one of her best smiles.

"We will find you someone important enough so they will be too threatened by you to ask too many questions, someone like him." Tom said pointing to the screen as the Doctor took a few tentative steps closer and raised his hands in defeat.

"Fine, but can you go easy on the ears, I never thought I looked good with large lobes."

Finding a suitable place to beam in the Doctor without getting caught uncloaking, was actually the hardest part of their plan It had taken them almost an hour before they found a suitable gap in the patrols where they could accomplish their task. As the Doctor materialized just outside the base structure on the planet, he hoped it wouldn't take quite so long when retrieving him. Taking what would have been a deep breath, he walked forward carrying his head high and defiant, just like the head of the Romulan Tal Diann should. It was brilliant really, posing as the head of military intelligence was sure to get him noticed, as well as all his questions answered. It wasn't long before someone did just that.

" Commander D'varo sir I was not informed of your visit." The weedy looking Romulan said as he bowed slightly before the Doctor as he looked around the sterile base. A group of Romulan guards chose that moment to appear around the corner. The Doctor froze, his holographic muscles freezing in anticipation of on of them realising he was however walked on past, a simple nod from each of them to their supposed commanding officer.

"As well you shouldn't have been, it was thought sending a message by subspace may be pick up on by the Federation and alert them to our plans." The Doctor replied in a well rehearsed manner.

"Of course sir very wise, now what can I do for you?" the smaller Romulan asked, bringing the Doctors attention back to him and he cleared his throat.

"I am here for a progress report Sub commander." The Doctor paused, he knew this man's rank by the insignia on his tunic, but had no idea of his name.

"T'Rul sir, we meet at the senate meeting when this plan was first discussed." He replied leading the Doctor into another room. This one however was littered with computer consoles, and what looked like some very interesting weaponry.

"I see, well I have met many people since then, after all these are trying times, remembering peoples names is hardly a priority." The Doctor winced internally, not only did he look like a Romulan he was starting to sound like one to. ' must be the ears' he said to himself as T'Rul brought up a semantic of the planet, their fleet placings and a diagram of the surrounding area.

"As you can see we have begun developing a counter weapon for the technology Admiral Janeway brought back from the future, how she and that band of miss fits ever made it back is beyond me." T'Rul gave the Doctor a rye smile, the Doctor chose to keep his council even though his photons were doing cartwheels inside his stomach.

"Please proceed with the plan." He managed to force out before the silence went on too long as T'Rul turned back to his console.

"By the time of the Borg's arrival, we should have the weapon up and running, our communications with the new Borg queen have been encouraging. She has agreed to leave Romulan territory untouched in return for our assistance." The Doctor couldn't believe what he was hearing, not only were the Borg coming, but the Romulans were helping them.

"Do you not think once they are through with the Federation they will come after us."The Doctor said forgetting himself for a moment as T'Rul frowned at him slightly.

"Certainly, but that's why you suggested in the first place that we also find a way to protect ourselves from assimilation. Which I am pleased to say we have also made progress on." The Romulan replied pulling up a new schematic and pointing to the various components on the screen. Now the Doctor understood, the virus the Romulans had designed was working to kill any nano probes. It still wasn't quite perfect, but the Doctor could see they weren't far off.

"I will need a copy of everything you have to take back for review by the senate." The Doctor said knowing that he needed to get a better look at that virus, and he was sure the Admiral would want to see the Romulans invasion plans with the Borg.

"Of course sir, but believe me the pan is sound. Soon the Federation will be wiped out their ideals eradicated, unworthy of assimilation."

The Doctor paused at the doorway clutching the memory stick in his hand, turning slowly he looked back at T'Rul.

"Unworthy you mean the Borg are just going to kill them, all of them?" The Doctor couldn't help but take hold of the door frame supporting himself as T'Rul took a step closer to him.

"Of course Commander, do you now have a problem with that?" The man asked now looking suspicious and the Doctor pulled himself upright once more and shook his head.

"Of course not."

With nothing to do, but watch Romulan ships cloak and uncloak the tension inside the cabin of the flyer grew as each minute passed. It was in fact easier to think about the lurking war birds than of their somewhat stinted conversation they had had earlier. Kathryn busied herself thinking about worse case scenarios. Like the Romulans launching a full out attack on the Borg and only providing them with more drones. Or even some back door attack on the Federation, that had nothing to do with the Borg at all. Looking up finally and across at Tom she took a moment to admire his profile, the long graceful line of his neck, curving to his strong jaw, and forward to elegant pouting lips. If only he new how that part of his anatomy more than any other intrigued her so. Now having felt them, all but fleetingly against her skin, had only deepened her fascination with them.

Feeling her cheeks redden Kathryn looked away from her current position and refocused on the console in front of her. This was silly, sitting here worrying about what Tom's lips would feel like, or more the the point, what Tom would think he if knew simply didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Her voice even to her own ears was a shock in the silence of the cabin.

"Tom we need to talk, this is ridiculous, sitting here in silence, like speaking will suddenly make us come apart at the seems. We need each other Tom, and I don't mean in just a professional way either. I need a friend out here, I'm sure you could do with one as well." Kathryn finished offering him her hand across the console. For a moment Tom hesitated, so much had happened between them in the past few weeks, that just a few words of Janeway cover up didn't seem to cut it any more. However Tom wanted so much for things to move on from the awkward place they were currently in that he too reached forward and took her hand.

Looking up and meeting Kathryn eye to eye, Tom could feel her trying to retract her hand. He held on firmly, not letting her run away from him this time. He needed the truth, he needed to know if her distance had been his fault.

"Tom look." Kathryn started but Tom interrupted her raising his hand to silence her for the first time in his life.

"I have to know Kathryn, I have to know what you remember about when you were sick, I know there is something you are not telling me, and I am worried that I am the cause of your distance lately." There it was out, Tom's heart was going like a jack hammer in his chest and he could feel beads of sweat forming on his upper lip. Choosing to ignore these unavoidable bodily reactions to his nervousness Tom simply sat and awaited an answer.

It took Kathryn a moment to register the question, the levity of it seemed somehow inappropriate for their current situation. Then again what time was ever perfect for the 'do you remember coming on to me and not taking no for an answer' question. Looking up at Tom and blinking slowly Kathryn decided that the Truth was the only thing available to her now. She could see the fear in his eyes and the knowledge of her impending admittance. Thinking about it now Kathryn suspected Tom had always know, but like her was happy avoiding the truth. It was though a short term solution, and as one of Tom's holodeck characters might say. The truth will out.

"I remember it not being your fault Tom, none of it, I would be hard pressed to name a single man in your place that would have acted with such restraint and respect as you did. Please don't blame yourself for my weakness." Kathryn's voice was barely above a whisper as she completed her sentence. The silence hanging in the air like the stale smell of smoke, neither knowing what to say, or how to move on from this.

Tom let go of Kathryn's hand, but neither of them retracted it fully back into the comforting warmth of their own bodies. The symbolism of which was not lost on either of them, the closeness between them now, separated by mere inches of duty and honour. The wish to finish their mission, one that was not even approved. To save the Federation and all the people who lived by it's code, and yet their own sacrifice bigger it seemed than just their lives, was to remain alone.

"Maybe when this is all done with, we can think about where we want to take this. Us?" Tom said now looking up from their parted hands and meeting Kathryn's gaze.

"When this is done with, we will either have all the time in the world to think about it. Or we will be dead." The seemingly sombre tone Kathryn's words had taken were not lost on Tom, but he chose to focus on the positive. To come out of this alive, with Kathryn wanting to see where their relationship could go was enough to bring a small smile to Tom's face.

"Then I guess we had better make sure we live through this thing, because I will be dammed if I don't get that chance." Tom said catching Kathryn's slight smile before it vanished at the beeping of the comm system.

"Its the Doc he is ready to come back." Tom said moving the flyer into position before de-cloaking and beaming the Doc aboard. Turning to look at the Romulan Tom's face fell when he saw the Doc's expression.

"We have a far bigger problem than we realised."

Hope that was ok, I will endeavour to keep writing reviews and encouragement always help. Thank you for reading XxX.


	24. Chapter 24

Thank you for all the responses to my latest chapter, it has inspired me to continue, and I promise I am working on the typing errors.

"What is it?" Tom and Kathryn said in unison, all eyes focused on the Romulan in front of them. The Doctor merely raised his hands and waved them both off.

"I will tell you but can we do this some place else. All these Romulans are starting to give me the creeps." The Doctor replied a little more sharply than he had originally intended. It earned him a slight glare from Janeway, but she remained silent. Instead turning towards Tom and looking over her console.

"That asteroid belt, just under a light year away should provide us with a good hiding place for now." She suggested as Tom gave her a quick nod and tapped in the new heading. The flyer pitched slightly as it manoeuvred around the gathering war birds and out into open space. As they cleared the field of Romulans the tension level inside the flyer dropped, the Doctor even let out a breath he neither realised or needed to be holding.

"Well are you going to tell us what happened, or do we have to guess?" Janeway said finally as Tom took the flyer into warp. Relaxing back into his chair and turning it slightly so he could see both Janeway and the Doctor.

"Of course, but first would someone do me the honour of relieving me of these ears." The Doctor said as Janeway stood up and reached for the offered mobile emitter. Choosing to say nothing but growing impatient with the Doctors continued avoidance of simply telling them what was going on. Janeway used far more force than necessary to change the settings on the Doctors emitter. A fact which did not go unnoticed by the Doc as he gave her a small frown with his now familiar human face.

"Here I managed to get a download of their files, but I warn you, I think you were right when you said this might change our plans." The Doctor said handing Janeway the data clip and watched as she didn't hesitate to plug it into her console.

Tom watched as Janeway began to read what the stolen devise had to say, as the Doctor started to talk about what he had discussed with T'Rul on the planet. Tom couldn't believe what he was hearing, he knew the Romulans to be a treacherous and arrogant people, but he didn't think they were suicidal.

"You would have thought they would have learnt their lesson with the Dominion." Tom said as Janeway looked up from her reading. She had been half listening to her companions, and half reading about the Romulans plot. It was as Tom suggested a huge risk, the Borg were not interested in any kind of negotiation, and when they were it was only to suit their own needs. After that, deal or no deal, assimilation would soon follow.

"They only have one chance, if they can get their hands on the latest Borg assimilation technology and devise a counter agent, then they would be immune and could offer the Borg proper resistance. A clever plan then to get the Borg to wipe out, rather than assimilate the rest of the Alpha quadrant. That way you are facing the same number of Borg, but with a real way to offer resistance." Janeway's thoughts drifted off as she completed her sentence. Silence once again drifted though the flyer, the only sound the thrum of her warp engines as she flew ever closer to the Delta quadrant border.

It struck Tom for a moment in that silence how long they had tried to get out of that sector of space, only to return a few years later. Now desperately trying to correct a mistake they had made when trying to leave it. If Tom knew anything it was that Kathryn Janeway was the one person in this universe that did guilt as well as he did. This was a mistake she had made in not one, but two lifetimes, a mistake she would die trying to correct. It was the desperate guilt of getting her crew home that had forced her into taking her future selves advice in the first place, and now guilt had driven her right back again to save probably the entire Federation. Now as Tom sat and looked at Janeway's far off gaze he wondered what was driving him. Simple duty didn't seem to cut it, the desire to save the Alpha quadrant was a strong motivator yes, his daughter another, but even combined, he would have rather done this with the entire fleet, armed to the teeth with future technology. Checking his flight plan once more and then turning to look at the Doctor who seemed to have fallen into some kind of trance, Tom knew exactly why they were both out here. It was the simple reason that their Captain, the woman who had returned them home has asked them to, and that was all they needed.

Tom's internal musings were cut short by the sound of her voice once more, its tones filling the silence and bringing him back to the here and now.

"We will rest for tonight in the asteroid field, set up a sub space monitor and see if we can't catch the Romulan's making contact with the Borg. Any information on where and how close they are would be useful." Janeway said as she stood up somewhat stiffly and retreated to the replicator.

"Coffee black." She barked slightly and took the beverage and then turned back to her companions.

"How long until we reach the asteroid filed?" she asked her voice softening slightly as she looked at Tom. The barest hint of a smile on her face as she sipped her coffee.

"Around three hours." Tom replied glad that at least coffee seemed to have its usual calming effect on her.

"Then I suggest we get some rest until then gentlemen." With that Janeway retreated to the aft section of the flyer. Suddenly and desperately bone weary, the need for sleep almost over whelming as she sank down no her her own bunk. Placing her half empty cup of coffee on the shelf beside her bunk. Janeway swung her legs up and flattened herself against the soft pillow. For a moment Janeway didn't care where she was, all that mattered was going to sleep. Just as her body was beginning to succumb to unconsciousness, Janeway realised that something was unnatural and wrong about her sudden weariness. She wasn't so much as falling to sleep but being dragged there by some unknown force. Only in those last moments of contentiousness did Janeway realise what was happening. Her weak attempt to call out Tom's name however seemed to fall on deaf ears.

The iridescent green that surrounded her, did not come as a surprise this time, Janeway looked around her and waited for the queen to appear. She did not have to wait long, the figure loomed out of the darkness towards the light where Janeway stood, and yet the queens attempt at intimidation fell somewhat short of the mark.

"My dear Admiral, so glad you could return to us." The queen said in her soft androgynous voice, the attempt of sounding friendly also falling sort of it intended target.

"What do you want?" Janeway stated simply, she was too angry to play games this time, especially now knowing about the Romulans.

"I wanted to see how you were, make sure you took my previous suggestion under advisement." The queen said as Janeway let a small smile grace her lips.

"You can't find us, you know we are coming, but your sensors can't penetrate our new cloak. If you think I have any intention of telling you then you are very much mistaken." Janeway said placing her hands on her hips and still holding a rye little smile.

"I knew you would not give up your location easily, that's why I brought you here. You see the unconscious mind has a way of letting things slip. Things that while awake I would not be able to retrieve from you I am sure." The queen now held her own little smile as Kathryn dropped her hands and folded them across her chest. Kathryn was unsure how much the Borg queen could probe her mind. Was it a simple case of reaching in and taking what she wanted. She was able to bring her here, create this illusion of sorts, was there away she could go deeper and take what she wanted?

"I think you will find, once we know we are dreaming it doesn't work like that any more." Janeway stated, determined not to show her fear to her enemy, just like she was simply looking at them from across a view screen.

"Perhaps, but I have control of your mind now, we shall see." The queen said as Janeway now dropped her arms completely as the seen before her changed.

She was outside, Earth she guessed, and she recognised this place. The wood beneath her feet clacked as she walked across it towards the railing over looking the countryside below. It was a beautiful spring evening. A little chilly for the simple shirt she was wearing, but the sky, now full of stars was capturing her attention. The glass door behind her opening went unnoticed for a moment before a familiar voice made her turn her head.

"Scotch over ice." Tom said handing her the glass as he walked up to her to enjoy the view. Kathryn took the offered beverage with a small smile. Something however didn't seem right, like she had done this before, but it was also different somehow. Tom's hand on her lower back, guiding her gently towards one of the recliners on the verandah pulled her from her train of thoughts. The night was so lovely, and his smile so soft that Janeway forgot about the strangeness of the situation and sat down on the chair. Tom sat opposite her and raised his glass to hips lips. The low light shone off the opaque glass and caught Janeway's eye. For a moment she remembered, she had been here before, sat in this very chair and drank this same drink.

"This isn't right I was somewhere else a moment ago." Kathryn said beginning to stand up but was halted by a hand on her thigh. Looking down at it now, Janeway thought it odd for Tom to put his hand in such an intimate place, and yet the contact was sending flutters of unwanted arousal though her stomach.

"Where Kathryn back in your office at Star Fleet headquarters? You know you hate it there, for however much you wanted to become an admiral, you long to be a Captain once again just as much." Tom spoke, not moving his hand from her now hot thigh, his gaze picking out her own in the twilight.

"Back out there among the stars, a starship at your command once more. Voyager and all it crew." Tom said a wistful look in his eye now, one Janeway was sure was reflected in her own.

"But you know that's not possible now Tom, they decommissioned her, that's why I came here in the first place." Janeway replied, hoping that Tom would remove his hand so she could think straight again.

"I know but I can get another ship, we could go fight the Borg together." Tom said this time taking Janeway's glass and placing it down beside them. Now with her hands free Tom took both of them in his own and place them in her lap. The closeness of him, and the feel of his hot breath on her neck was making Janeway's head spin. She so much wanted to do as he had suggested, to get out from under all that Star fleet protocol. To be in command again, and more to be with him, with Tom Paris.

"If you have a ship I am ready to go when you are." Janeway replied, allowing her thumb to caress the back of his hand slightly as Tom moved himself as close as the chairs they were sitting on would allow. Janeway heard his breath catch in his throat as he removed one of his hands from hers and brought it up to caress her cheek. Leaning into his touch, she could feel the slight roughness of his hand. One that had been working for years on ships and those old cars he loved so much.

Opening her eyes Janeway saw Tom looking at her, they were the same vibrant blue they had always been, and yet they were somehow different. Almost to perfect in how they shone in the light. The way his head tilted to one side, everything seemed to perfect.

"This can't be real." Janeway said pulling away from him quickly, but the look of shock in Tom's face made her pause.

"How is it not real. Don't I look real? Don't I feel it?" Tom said stoking his thumb across her cheek again, as Janeway's heart skipped a beet at the contact."

"Yes but." Janeway started, but the words died on her lips as Tom's face drew closer to her own, and his lips made contact with hers for the first time. If this was not real then Janeway didn't want to wake up. He smelt and tasted exactly as she had imagined, his lips soft and warm against her own. Her hands now moving up to cup his face on either side, and her own head tilting to allow him better access.

The kiss broken only moments later Tom pulled back slightly and gave her a small smile.

"Did that not feel real?" He asked a slight smirk in his voice as Janeway attempted to control her drumming heart.

"Yes I guess it did." She replied with her own small smile as Tom stood up and joined her on her recliner.

"Then maybe we should simply explore that for a while." He said pushing her back against the head of the seat and draping himself over the top of her. His arms bearing most of his weight he lent down once more and placed his lips over her own. Janeway didn't hesitate this time in opening her mouth and allowing Tom deepen the kiss. Janeway's hands wrapped lightly around his neck as he moved from her lips to her cheek, then down her throat. Kissing his way down the opening of her shirt until he was stopped by the fastening there.

Janeway was in a world of feeling, and sensation, her body crying out for attention after being starved of it for so long.

"Where are we Kathryn?" Tom's voice spoke softly, and for a moment Janeway didn't here him.

"We are on your verandah." She answered as Tom's finger toyed with the button on her shirt.

"No I mean where are we, we went to fight the Borg, we are in my ship." Tom said replacing his lips at her chest and sucking slightly on the skin he found there.

"You know where we are." Janeway said suddenly feeling uncomfortable and confused.

"No I don't know, I did, but you made me forget." Tom said looking into her eyes again and Janeway blinked. The world around her seemed to vanish and all that was left was Tom's eyes, and she so badly wanted to tell him what he wanted to know.

So will Janeway give in or will she realise in time what is happening to her. Will Tom and the Doc notice she is in trouble. To find out send me some inspiring words and I will do my best to oblige. Thank you for reading XxX


	25. Chapter 25

I thought it was about time to update this story, so here it is back by popular demand.

Tom heard the muffled calls first, they had been travelling several hours since Kathryn had gone back to her bunk, and it had been smooth sailing so far. This deep out in space there wasn't much of anything, in fact and Tom's mind had been easily wondering about his sleeping companion. Whether it was because he had been thinking about their almost conversation concerning what had happened while she had been unwell, or because the silence inside the flyer was almost defining Tom heard Kathryn moan. At first he tried to ignore it, thinking she was simply dreaming. Then as the moans turned to whimpers, and finally his name falling off her lips Tom was up and running for the aft compartment.

"Doc come quick there is something wrong with Kathryn!" Tom called as he found her wrapped inside her sheet and covered with sweat. For a moment they were alone, Tom placed his hands on her shoulders and shook her gently, trying to arouse her from what seemed like the grip of a nightmare. When she did not stir Tom was glad to see the Doctor arriving.

"What's going on?" He enquired getting out his tricorder and scanning Kathryn, the blank face that followed told Tom that the Doc wasn't sure either.

"I don't know, but she wont wake up." Tom said moving towards the head of the bed and pressing his hand to her cheek.

"Why is she so hot?" Tom enquired as the Doc looked over his scan results more thoroughly.

"I don't know, this is telling me everything is normal, but it clearly isn't." The Doctor said snapping the now useless device shut and virtually throwing it across the room.

"Then what the hell is going on." Tom said this time shaking Kathryn pretty hard and calling her name. It had no effect, her eyes remained closed and the slightly pained look still resided on her face. Tom felt so helpless, and looking at the Doctor now he could see the same look on his holographic face.

"The only time I have seen physical symptoms arise like this, with no change in readings is when a patient has undergone memory regression. The mind is made to believe it is really in a certain situation, without the body actually being there. Fire victims actually feeling their skin burning, and so forth." The Doc replied standing up and rubbing his head slightly as if contemplating his next move.

"Ok so what do we do to snap her out of it?" Tom enquired as the Doctor stopped and looked from Tom to the main viewer.

"The Borg queen, the Admiral said she had spoken to her, maybe she is now controlling her dreams somehow." The Doctor said which made Tom stand up alongside with him. His face now a picture of understanding.

"Which means there will be a signal, probably very faint, and disguised as background noise, but there and if we can find it, we can block it out." Tom continued, now making a dash for the helm, calling over his shoulder as he went.

"Keep an eye on her, of anything changes let me know."

Kathryn looked around her and she saw that she was back in the flyer, the ship was gliding along in space. Breathing a sigh of relief she sat up and looked at the Doctor.

"Glad your back with us." He said as Kathryn blinked a few times and rubbed her face with both hands.

"How long was I out?" She asked standing up slowly and feeling slightly out of balance.

"A few hours, we couldn't wake you up and got a bit worried, must have been some dream." The Doctor said with a slight smirk on his face. Kathryn felt the blush rise in her cheeks at the memory of her dream. The shared kisses with Tom, his soft hands on her skin, and then she realised where she was. Pulling herself together she stood up straight and flexed her aching limbs.

"Yeah it was, can't really remember it now though, supposed I will have to be grateful for small mercies." Kathryn replied making her way forward now and seeing Tom looking at her from the helm. He wore a soft smile and she couldn't help but smile back at him. Sitting quietly in the seat next to him she glanced down at the instruments. Reading normal across the board she shook her head, trying to clear her sleep fogged brain.

"Are you ok, I was a bit worried your fever had come back, you know the one from the planet." Tom said with a slight hesitantly and Kathryn knew exactly why.

"No just a bad nightmare I think, haven't had one in years, I guess its because we are out here." She said waving her arm towards the view port for emphasis.

"I know what you mean, seems so big when your all alone, makes you wonder if holding certain things in is a good thing." Tom's voice drifted off as his spoke, but Kathryn's eyes shot towards him none the less. She wondered just what she had said during her dream, the Doctor sure seemed to know something, and now Tom was hinting at her coming clean about something. Kathryn lent back in her chair and took in a deep breath, she knew it was time to talk, all this silence was doing them no good, and as it seemed Tom now knew something.

"Look Tom I remember, I remember what I did when I was sick. And I remember how well you dealt with it." There is was said and the flyer hadn't fallen into a sun, or explode into a million pieces, they were both still sat there, Tom now looking intently at his console.

"Which direction do you want to approach the next system in?" Tom said and Kathryn bulked slightly. Did he have nothing to say to her, did he not want to talk bout this? He had sure pressured her enough in to telling him, now he just wanted a course correction.

"Umm Tom does that matter, we need to talk about this, we need to move past it." Kathryn said putting her hand on his shoulder in a familiar move that was then shrugged off.

"I knew ok, I knew ages ago I just wanted you to admit it, repression isn't healthy you know." Tom said turning to her with a slight smile. Kathryn felt an unease at that smile, she had never felt like that before around Tom, but now she felt her nerves along her spine tingle and she pushed her hands together to stop it travelling to her fingers.

"So what was your plan for the next solar system?" Tom continued, but Kathryn only vaguely heard his question. She was feeling strange again like something was pulling her. Not physically but mentally away from him, away from the flyer.

"Kathryn are you ok you don't look so well." Tom asked now kneeling down in front of her and taking hold of her hands.

"I feel kind of light headed." She said looking at him and seeing his face flicker slightly, like a view screen where the image was being interrupted.

"Tom" She called as his image flickered again and she closed her eyes tightly to stop whatever was happening to her.

"Got you!" Tom shouted as he hit the control panel and the flyer slowed to an almost complete stop.

"She is coming round" The Doctor called as Tom rushed back to the aft compartment and saw Kathryn open her eyes.

"Not again what is going on." Kathryn said sitting up quickly this time and feeling a whole lot better than she had done previously.

"It was the Borg, they were sending a signal though subspace straight into your mind, I managed to locate it and block it out though." Tom said smiling broadly and turning his attention to the Doctor.

"She could probably only control you when you were unconscious, which is why you have only experienced these things in dreams." He said and Kathryn felt like she needed to sit down.

"It was all so real, she wanted to find out where we were." Kathryn started, but then stopped, she didn't want to say just what the Borg queen had done to make her talk. Not here, not now and not in front of her current company.

"Probably the only way of her knowing what we are up to, the boys did good work on the cloak." Tom replied as he walked with Kathryn slowly back to the helm.

"Is their any chance she could re initiate the link?" Kathryn asked as she sat down next to Tom, who had once again taken up residence in the pilots seat.

"Maybe, but I don't think so not for a while anyway." He said going back to his console and powering up the flyer's engines once more.

Kathryn couldn't help but notice the similarity between her dream and now, how Tom's fingers glided across the console, how his brow would furrow slightly if something wasn't quite right, and how every now and then he would glance at her with a soft smile.

"I know what happened Tom, I remember." Kathryn felt the words spill from her lips before she could do anything to stop them. She also knew Tom was well aware of what she was talking about, his hands paused over his console and his breathing became slightly irregular. The silence dragged for what seemed like forever, but in fact it had only been moments.

"I am sorry, I know I could have handled things differently." Tom said finally, not looking at Kathryn and keeping his eyes firmly fixed on his illuminated control panel. For a moment Kathryn was stunned, she had no idea he had been feeling guilty about what had happened. Then she sighed and lent forward. Of course Tom would blame himself, only her warped imagination would have supplied the queen with his offhanded comment before, probably brought about by her own doubts and fears.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Tom, I think you showed me remarkable respect, many people I know would not have been so generous." Kathryn said placing her hand on his shoulder. Tom turned to her slowly and found her eyes. For a moment they simply sat and stared at one another, so much had been unspoken between them for so long, there would not have been enough time in the entire galaxy for that conversation. But that simple look almost said it all.

"I am glad at least now we both know." Tom said, it wasn't exactly what Kathryn had been hoping for, but it was a little bit of weight off his shoulders none the less.

"Indeed, and look no one died." Kathryn replied hoping to lighten the mood, but she still felt the tension thick in the air.

Tom was lost in his own thoughts, Kathryn was still sat beside him, and had also remained silent after her last comment. Now Tom was thinking about what Kathryn had said while she had been locked in the Borg's dream. He knew he should say something, there was no better opportunity since she had just revealed what Tom had suspected all along. That she had remembered everything about that day she got infected. Now it was his turn to confess, but now the shoe as it were was on the other foot he found it far harder than he thought it would be. Not wanting to upset the delicate balance they had between them. Or ruin any possible chance of something else, was a big factor in what he had to ask her.

"You called my name when you were sleeping, you spoke it like I was hurting you." Tom spoke into the void, again not looking at her and simply running through the motions on his console.

Kathryn was silent, she didn't know what to say to him. How could she alleviate his fears without explaining what had really happened. More lies? That didn't seem right, not after what they had gone through.

"No Tom you weren't hurting me, the opposite in fact." Kathryn stopped there as Tom's head turned to her now and that smile graced his lips again. This time she felt no strange tingle of warning down her spine, or the need to run away.

"Good well sounds like quite a dream." Tom said happy that she had not lied to him, happy that even if it was only in her dream, one that was being controlled by a Borg she had spoken his name with such passion.

"I guess so." Kathryn said with a small chuckle, which then turned into a full blown laugh. Tom at first didn't quite understand, but her laughter became infectious, and soon both of them were holding on to their stomachs and creating quite a racket. It had drawn the Doctor forward from his experiments and as he witnessed the scene on the bridge he tutted to himself.

"It's like working with a pair of hormonal teenagers, don't they know I'm a Doctor not a zoo keeper."

TBC... Thank you for reading, reviews inspire and make me smile XxX


	26. Chapter 26

I know this is the longest its ever taken me to update a story, but I want to do it right, and so far the end of this story has eluded me. Now I think inspiration has hit, please enjoy.

For hours the ship flew though deserted space, there was not a sole out here, no inhabited planets, no trade routes, and more importantly no Borg. Janeway sat in the navigation chair, one leg up on its soft upholstery, her hands locked around her knee, as she watched Tom fly. There was something in his eyes when he was at the helm of a ship. She had seen this expression many times on Voyager, she couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was that changed. He often smiled, his eyes seemed to always hold a shine to them, and yet when he was flying he seemed even more alive. Almost vibrant, to the point where Janeway genuinely thought that he might explode from excitement. She had only seen that look on his face once before. It was when the Doctor had called to tell Tom he had a daughter. Now a pang of guilt ran through Janeway, she had once again taken Tom away from his family, asked him for more than he ever had to give, and yet he had come willingly, for her.

Janeway realised that this did not do much to alleviate the guilt. Tom had not looked at her once since they had gotten over their laughing fit. They had settled into what was thankfully a comfortable silence. The Doctor had retreated to the aft compartment, he had said that he wanted to run some final tests on the weapon systems. Neither Janeway nor Tom questioned him. If nothing else the Doctor was thorough. Janeway was still concerned however that Tom was not as comfortable with her as he was making out. The lack of eye contact was telling her as much, but she was not in the mood to question him on it. The toll the Borg queen had taken on Janeway's mind was starting to catch up on her. The lack of sleep she had gotten over the last twenty four hours was beginning to show, bit Janeway could not yet bring herself to go to sleep. The Doctor and Tom had both reassured her that the dampening field they had erected was still working, but no one knew better than Janeway how good the Borg were at adapting.

"You should try and get some rest you know." Tom's voice startled Janeway, she almost jumped out of her chair, as her leg slipped from its perch on the seat, and her hands fell into her lap. Composing herself quickly Janeway rubbed her hand though her hair and straightened her jacket.

Tom noticed these self-conscious acts of grooming and allowed a small smile to form on his face. Janeway was obviously flustered by something, but there was no way she was going to voice any concerns out loud to him.

"Yes you are probably right, but I am not sure I could sleep." Janeway admitted in a partial attempt at the truth as Tom now turned to her fully. He had been thinking about things for a long time, thinking about the woman sat next to him more specifically, and he had finally come to a conclusion. For years they had been skirting around one another, both aware that their relationship was far more complicated than either of them would admit to. It had been pushed into the back ground when Tom had finally gotten together with B'Elanna, but now that connection was back, and back with a vengeance. Tom had decided that he was too old, and too unhappy with his life for more avoidance. Whilst he had sat, watching the stars streak past him, and making marginal course corrections he made a choice. Kathryn was no longer his commanding officer, well not in a direct sense anyway, and considering the fact that they would all be up for a court-martial when they got back, or if indeed they did get back, that point was now moot. There was in fact nothing standing in their way of exploring what their relationship could be. Having stumbled onto that tiny facet halfway through a systems check, Tom had also realised that Kathryn was watching him. He wasn't even sure if she was aware that she was doing it, but he also realised that he liked it. His conclusion from that moment on had been simple, he was going to try and peruse Admiral Kathryn Janeway.

"Would you feel better if I came to bed with you?" Tom said finally after a moments pause, and for a second Kathryn's mouth just seemed to open, holding the pose like she was waiting for something to fly in there.

Kathryn could here the innuendo in Tom's offer, this was not like the previous times they had spent the night in the same bed. On those occasions it was either by necessity, or because of an offer of support. Now though Kathryn detected the change immediately, but did not know how to respond. Simply sitting there she did not realise that her mouth had fallen open at such an unflattering angle.

"You're going to start catching flies." Tom said with a small chuckle, and even though, from the now confused look on Kathryn's face, it was clear she had not understood his reference. Her mouth was now indeed closed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kathryn said referring not only to Tom's strange comment, but also to his earlier statement of coming to bed with her.

"Something people used to say when someone's mouth was hung open." Tom replied, obviously attempting to side step the question, but he could see by the way Kathryn folded her arms she was not buying it.

"That's not exactly what I meant Tom and you know it." Kathryn said feeling a confrontation building within her, and somewhat relishing the fight.

"I know, but it was worth a try." Tom said with a small wink, and this time Kathryn knew for certain that Tom was up to something.

"Well why did you offer to come to bed with me Tom?" Kathryn asked, never one to beat around the bush, or back away from a challenge she sat there, her steely blue eyes locked with his. For a moment, nothing else mattered. Not the Doctor, or Star Fleet, or even the Borg. Tom felt the same way, and he did not have to think long about his answer, he had decided he was going to be truthful, no more secrets.

"Because I didn't want to be alone tonight, and I suspect you don't either." Tom's words fell of his lips as easily as if he were giving her a standard report, but Kathryn did not share his ease with this sudden display of truthfulness.

"Well if you're worried about me falling under the queens spell again, we should check the dampening filed." Kathryn said reaching forward to run the diagnostic, but her hand was intercepted by a larger, overly warm one instead.

"That wasn't what I meant, I mean I would like to spend some time with you, we may not have a lot of time left Kathryn, I don't want to waste it wondering what might have been." Tom spoke to the top of Kathryn's head, she was looking down at their joined hands, and as yet had not looked at him at all. Tom watched as Kathryn's shoulders grew square, her spine straightening, and her head turn slowly towards his. Tom's heart was pounding in his chest so hard, he was worried that it might, at any moment burst straight through.

"Tom" His name was all Kathryn got out before the Doctor burst though the door at the rear of the cabin and clapped his hands together. Both officers sitting at the control panel jumped visibly apart, and turned to look at the hologram with disdainful looks on their faces.

"I have got it." The Doctor continued completely unaware of the pair of glares he was receiving at this moment.

"Whatever it is, I don't want it." Tom replied with a small grin, as the Doctor walked up behind him and gave a mock laugh.

"Ha de Ha ha. No I mean I have come up with a way we can defeat the Borg, and stay alive in the process." The Doctor clarified, now Kathryn was interested, more than interested, if they could take down the Borg and get back home, well she could die a happy woman.

"Well are you going to tell us Doctor, or should we proceed in guessing?" Kathryn asked, a mild irritation in her voice as the Doctor turned his eyes to hers.

"As much fun as it would be to have to attempt to guess my brilliant plan, I think I will just tell you." The Doctor replied looking particularly smug with himself this time. Tom had turned in his chair so he could look straight at the Doctor, and even Tom had to admit he was intrigued.

"What is the biggest weakness of the Borg?" The Doctor asked and Tom sighed, it was going to be one of those slow reveals, like in the old movies he liked to watch on his TV. 45 minutes of skirting around a plan and finally getting on with it in the last act.

"The fact that they are all connected." Kathryn answered before Tom could get there.

"Yes and its also their biggest strength, but we can exploit this. We already know what happened to a group of Borg that had the idea of individuality planted in their ship." The Doctor continued looking from one face to another as he spoke.

"You mean Hew, the Borg the Enterprise saved and then returned?" Tom said now getting into what the Doctor was talking about.

"Yes, we can use the queens own link into the Admirals mind against her, we can plant thoughts and images into the minds of all Borg, we wouldn't even have to fire a shot." The Doctor concluded, his smiled remained, but as the silence grew before him, it weakened, until it was replaced with a frown.

"Well?" He questioned as Kathryn stood up and come towards him. Her hand landed on his shoulder and gave him a small squeeze.

"It's a good plan, a very good one, in theory, but in practice, getting into the mind of the Borg is hard enough, but to actually try and control them is virtually impossible." She replied walking away to the rear of the ship and moving towards the replicator.

"No wait I hadn't quite finished, I can get us all in." The Doctor virtually shouted as Kathryn's order fell off her lips.

"Coffee black, you what?"

"I can create a neural link so that when she comes into your mind again, Tom and I can go with you, help you to establish control, and find a way in." This time the Doctor's smile held as Kathryn placed the hot coffee to her lips and blew to cool it.

"Ok then Doctor, let's give it ago." Kathryn replied a small smile forming on her lips before she drank from her cup.

It was decided that they would all take a break before attempting the neural link. Tom had been up for almost twenty hours, and Kathryn's sleep had been unfulfilling to say the least. The Doctor had said they would all need to be well rested and alert if they were going to try this and had ordered them to bed. Tom had not mentioned his earlier offer of going to sleep with Kathryn, so she simply laid down on her own bunk and closed her eyes. Sleep however seemed to be eluding her, not only because she was worried about the new plan, and the queen finding a way through the dampening field, but also about what Tom was thinking right now. She had barely even said goodnight to him, when earlier she had been considering his offer, before they had been interrupted.

Whether she had been muttering to herself, or simply making noise from tossing and turning the hand that placed itself on her shoulder stilled her.

Nothing was said as Tom climbed in beside her and wrapped his arms around her frame. Settling into his embrace Kathryn felt herself fighting to stay awake suddenly. In that moment before dreaming, she wondered if maybe this was what life was all about, not duty, not the greater good, but love.

TBC... Thank you for reading XxX


	27. Chapter 27

Welcome back, as promised I am going to finish this, even if it kills me.

Kathryn Janeway slept the sleep of the peaceful, no nightmares plagued her dreams, she was not awakened by the sound of phaser fire, or summoned to duty because of some new crisis. She had fallen back into a welcomed embrace and for once had not listened to the doubting voice inside of her. This was by no means the first time she had squashed this voice into silence, but it was the first time she had done it for a man. There had been others of course; Mark, whom she had left to go into space, not to have returned for seven years. Kashyk, a man she never truly trusted, but could have so easily have fallen for. Then there was Jaffen, someone she had fallen for, when she didn't know who she was. When all the responsibility had come crashing down around her once more, she had left, almost as soon as she had started. Yet she knew there had always been one person she could not run from, the one voice she could not silence, and finally here, in the dark, thousands of light years away from anywhere she was finally falling.

Tom had been awake for ages, yet he did not have the heart to disturb the sleeping woman in his arms. He could hear the Doctor pottering about in the cockpit, he was making plenty of noise, and Tom suspected that it was on purpose, and still Kathryn slept on. A soft expression had befallen her face, and for a while Tom simply looked at her. When Tom felt a presence behind him, he turned his head to look straight into the eyes of their noisy Doctor. Jumping slightly and trying not to wake his sleeping companion at the same time, Tom managed to bang his head on the roof of the bunk.

"Geez Doc, don't go creeping up on people like that, you'll end up causing an injury." Tom said rubbing his now sore head, as Kathryn seemed to regain her equilibrium.

"Nothing I can't fix later, now you need to hurry up, we have lots to do before we can get under way with our plan." The Doctor said now turning on his heel and heading back for the cockpit. Tom let out a huff of breath as he felt pressure on his shoulder. Turning he was surprised with the closeness of Kathryn's face, now only mere inches separated them, her breath washing over his cheek, as she blinked her eyes slowly, still half asleep and, either unaware of their close proximity, or simply didn't mind. Tom hoped for the later, but expected the former as Kathryn took in a deep yawn as she stretched her body so close to his own. Fighting the rising urge within himself to kiss her, Tom quickly stood and removed himself from the situation. His plan had been to pursue his former captain, but now was not the appropriate time. He could see the change on her face almost immediately as her body finally roused itself from restfulness.

Kathryn's peaceful sleep had come to an abrupt end, when she felt Tom stirring next to her as she stretched out the kinks in her body. It was a stark reminder of just how far their relationship and come, but more so, how far it still had to go. Tom's early morning desires, were something she was not yet ready for. He had thankfully sprang out of bed, and was now looking at her with trepidation. Choosing in this instance to ignore it, Kathryn stood up and joined him on the deck.

"The Doctor says we have to come, because we have lots of plans to make?" Tom said somewhat cautiously. Kathryn simply smiled at him and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Not before I've had my coffee I won't." And with that Kathryn made a bee line straight for the replicator and Tom was left standing and shaking his head.

The Doctor however had been right. There was much to plan before he sent them on a mission into the Borg mind. Not only did they have to test out the neural link, which would have been easy if it had simply been Tom and Kathryn, but the Doctors matrix made it hard to incorporate.

"All I am getting is dozens of numbers and rolling text, how on earth do you filter it all out." Tom said finally slamming down his Neural modulator and clenching his fist on the table.

"I don't even think about it. Sometimes I wish I could write a program to change your subroutines. Then everything would be a lot easier." The Doctor spat back as Kathryn wearily rubbed her eyes.

"Ok this is getting us nowhere, we need to find a way past this, and Doctor, we have to filter out all your unnecessary data. We aren't used to it and we cannot simply push it to one side." Kathryn said trying really hard to keep the anger out of her voice. They had been at this for hours now, travelling at a steady warp six as they experimented. With nothing but stellar matter in the way, the auto pilot was capable of handling the flying. Now Janeway had had enough, even a Borg ship wouldn't have been unwelcome, if only to take her mind off all the information that had been pumped though her brain.

"What did you say about pushing it to one side?" The Doctor then said, interrupting Kathryn's Borg invasion fantasy, as she looked up at him from her seat.

"I said we can't simply push all that programming data to one side, our brains don't work like that." Kathryn reiterated for him, as the Doctor began to grin.

"No but mine does, I can write a subroutine so all that data can run though it, I can then block that off from the neural link, so your brains don't have to do any extra work. In the case of Mr Paris, that's probably a very good thing." The Doctor replied as Tom sent him a glare, which as per usual was summarily dismissed.

"You can go and work on a place to secure the flyer while we are in the link." The Doctor ordered and then received an equally icy glare from Kathryn, which also was ignored. Both Kathryn and Tom looked at one another. Shaking their heads they stood up and left in silence, knowing that it was useless arguing with him when the Doctor was in full command mode. It was at times like this, that Kathryn really regretted allowing the Doctor to explore that particular part of his programming.

Getting into the flight seats, Tom took over from the auto pilot and gave a quick report.

"We are coming up on the Halovan sector, its a region of space with a single pulsar, and two L class planets." Tom took a brief glance at Kathryn, but she was studying her console.

"Looks like we are about two thousand light years from the delta quadrant border. It seems like only yesterday when I was sat in my office, staring up at the picture of Voyager and yet we are here, only a year or so from where this all started." Kathryn said looking out at the view port. Like there would be some kind of sign, pointing the way back.

"Well not exactly, we were taken to the other side of the Delta quadrant, almost the furthest point from us. Now we are simply headed to the border. In a ship, I might add that has modified engines, and no one firing at us." Tom said with a small smile, but it fell short of having any effect on his companion. Kathryn continued starring out of the view screen, a whist full look in her eyes, and finally Tom got it. It was a look of nostalgia. It was, he was sure, the same look B'Elanna had sad he got whenever they spoke of the voyager days. Kathryn, Just like Tom wanted on some level to go back.

"Do you ever wish we could do it all again?" Tom asked, his voice was soft, but his look intense as Kathryn turned to him.

"Not like it was no, but do I miss it, I would be lying if I said I didn't." Kathryn acknowledged as Tom's face fell into a slight frown.

"Why do you say, not how it was?" He asked genuinely curious as to her answer.

"It was the best and worst experience of my life. The crew, our ship the way we made a family, and a home was wonderful, and what I wouldn't give for that to be true again. But the pressure of getting us all home, and let's be honest falling short of the mark, will forever be the greatest failure of my life." Kathryn, abruptly stopped talking, Tom could see the emotions wash over her face, and he knew no matter how much reassurance he gave her about the wonderful job she had done, would alleviate any of the guilt concerning the crew members who didn't make it. Tom knew this because he felt the loss also. Maybe not in the same degree as Kathryn, but it still hurt to think about them.

"Is this what all this is all about then?" Tom asked hoping that the answer would be no, but suspecting on some level that it was, this was for all the people who hadn't made it home.

Kathryn thought about lying to him, she almost said the words, before Tom looked at her and his eyes almost seemed to bore into her sole. He was pleading with her silently to tell him the truth, and this time she could not deny him.

"Yes I suppose it is, not completely, it is still about saving the Alfa quadrant, and showing Star Fleet that it can't simply sit back and bury its head in the sand. But its also for; Lieutenant Durst, Kurt Bandera, Mr Suder, Lieutenant Bennett, Ensign Martin, Mr Hogan, Ensign Strickler, Crewman Emanuel, Ensign Ahni Jetal, And Joe Carey." Tom was stunned when Kathryn reeled off the names of the people who had died on their long journey home. He also noticed she did not include the names of the officers that died on the initial shock wave that took them to the Delta quadrant. He supposed because Janeway believed she had not been as responsible for those deaths. They had, at that point at least been under Star Fleet orders. As soon as Kathryn had decided to destroy the array, it became a different ball game. Every death there after was a direct result of her decision, and Tom understood why she knew all of them off by heart.

"So we do this for them, and we do this for us." Kathryn said finally pointing to a spot on the console.

"Here we can take the flyer here and it should be safe." She said as Tom looked over at the panel and nodded. Making a slight course correction, he pushed the flyer faster up to warp seven, knowing that time was a unknown factor in their journey, had always been in the back of his mind. They had so far spent almost six months out in open space, and nearly two more before that dodging federation traffic. In all this time they had known the Borg were headed towards them, what none of them knew, was just how far they had gotten.

The second moon of the planet named M36 Beta was barely M class, but more to the point had a high levels of metal fragments lining its rocks and mountains. It was a perfect place to set the flyer down to hide it. It was going to take them three days to get there, but the Doctor said he would need at least a day to make the appropriate adjustments to his program.

"It will give us a day to get used to the connection, and work on our exit." The Doctor said as they all sat down at the small table. Kathryn had been picking at her dinner, while Tom almost ate without noticing what he was putting in his mouth.

"What do you mean by exit?" Tom asked around a mouthful of bread, dripping with tomato soup.

"I have written an extra subroutine, one that will allow us to wake up any time we either want to, or need to." The Doctor said with a certain amount of caution.

"You're saying that we could get trapped if we don't get out in time?" Kathryn said pushing her half eaten dinner away and looking directly at the Doctor.

"It's a possibility, you see I have no way of knowing how the queen will perceive us. If she remains unaware of our interference, then we will have nothing to worry about."

"And if she becomes aware?" Tom questioned his own dinner now pushed aside also, as the conversation took on a more serious tone.

"She could drive us all insane." Kathryn answered, knowing full well what it was like to be under the queens control.

"Loosing ones mind is not a good way to go Mr Paris." The Doctor said knowing that for them at least, it was probably their worst fear. The possibility of dying in battle was nothing new to his companions, but stuck inside ones own mind, babbling about things that weren't really there, was neither death, nor really living.

"So then we practice." Kathryn said standing up now and recycling her dinner, turning to Tom and the Doctor, who had stood up with her. Neither of them questioned her, nor would she expect them to. For whatever their short comings, they were both good officers, and recognised an order when they heard it. Moving into the aft compartment, they all pushed their neural transmitters into place. The Doctor connected himself, by the link in the computer and they all fell into a silence.

"One more thing." The Doctor said before he initialised the link.

"Now what?" Kathryn said pretty fed up with the snippets of information that Doctor was supplying, she preferred bad news all at once.

"Once you wake up, that's it, you can't rejoin the link, it would cause irreparable brain damage, not only to you, but also the others in the link."

"Great, now he tells us." Tom stated before the link connected them and he drifted away.

TBC.. Thank you for reading XxX


	28. Chapter 28

Welcome back dear readers, please enjoy the following insert of my little story, any and all comments welcomed. Onwards.

Tom looked around him, he couldn't believe what he was seeing, and more to the point feeling. He watched as the stars shone above him in the sky, he felt the cool breeze touch his cheek, as it also rustled the leaves of his potted plant. Turning he watched as Kathryn and the Doctor took in their surroundings. They both seemed as overwhelmed as he did, but for different reasons. While it was quite clear the Doctor was trying to work out where he was. Kathryn seemed almost afraid, like she had been here before at some point, one Tom did not know about.

"Where are we?" The Doctor finally asked as he still couldn't recognise this place.

"This is the only place on Earth that I have ever felt at home. This is my veranda in France." Tom said opening his arms and doing a full rotation before stopping. His eyes then fell to Kathryn's, the smile that appeared on her face, was slightly forced, but Tom at least appreciated the gesture.

"Ok well at least we aren't getting buffeted by the Doctor's programming any more." Kathryn said, wanting to change the subject quickly, she could see Tom building up to ask her what was wrong, and right now, with the neural link in place, she wasn't sure she could lie to him.

"Ok so now, what should we do?" Tom asked realising this was not in fact an exercise in delving into Kathryn's darkest secrets.

"Maybe we should stay in the link for a while, see what happens, make sure it doesn't degrade." The Doctor suggested, as he did so, the scene changed.

Suddenly on the bridge of Voyager, the ship appeared to be under attack. It was rolling from side to side. Consoles were exploding, and Kathryn felt the intense desire to start barking orders.

"Captain!" Her name made her turn and look at the face of Chacotay. He looked young, probably from around ten years ago. Her heart for a moment skipped a beat, her breath caught in her throat, and as his hand landed on her shoulder, she felt the pull of the past.

"What are we going to do, three Kazon ships are converging upon us." He said as another volley of fire erupted around them.

"We need to find a way." Before Kathryn could finish her sentence the Doctor interrupted her.

"We need to do nothing, remember this is just a memory, it can't hurt us, this is something the queen will do to confuse us, trap us here. Now we have to learn to just walk away." His eyes held her gaze as Tom walked into their field of vision.

"He is right, I hate to say it, but he is, I am sure this is nothing compared to what the queen will have in store for us." Tom continued, as Voyager seemed to buckle under the pressure of the fire and then regain herself.

"Ok so what should we do, just walk away, I feel like I should do something, changed what is happening." Kathryn said as the Doctor led them towards the turbo lift.

"First of all we should continue exploring our connection. I am assuming this came from your mind Admiral?" The Doctor asked as they got on the turbo lift and headed into what sounded like silence.

"Umm I guess, but I wasn't thinking about that particular moment at all." She replied before the doors opened and they stepped into what looked like a poker game. For a moment all of them froze, trying to recall the moment.

"Who's memory is this?" Tom whispered as Chacotay beckoned them all in, but none of them made a move.

"Not sure, I think this was a time in the void, you know when there was nothing else to do." Kathryn said remembering getting the invitation to come, and making an excuse why she couldn't.

"I remember now, this was your idea Tom, and I remember Chacotay was horrible at bluffing." The Doctor said now taking a step forward and then stopping in his tracks.

"Something isn't right." He said then as the others froze behind him.

"What isn't?" Kathryn said going on high alert immediately as the Doctor turned back to them. Ignoring the calls from the table behind to hurry up.

"Look where we have been, why have these images come up, none of us were thinking about them, and why would any of us go back to a time where we were in danger? We went from a pleasant memory, to a dangerous one, to a difficult emotional time for all of us. This has intervention written all over it." The Doctor said as Kathryn caught on quickly to his line of thinking.

"You think the queen intercepted our little experiment, and thought she could catch us unawares?" Kathryn's heart almost fell though her shoes as she realised it was the perfect opportunity for her. The queen had adapted to their dampening field and had been waiting for the perfect moment. If this was true then their advantage of surprise had been lost. Tom then came up with a far more pressing, and dangerous conclusion.

"We are still at warp, with no one piloting the flyer. We could crash straight into a planet. Or worse."

"Worse, what could be worse than crashing into a planet?" The Doctor said incredulously as Tom folded his arms.

"Exploding right now." He replied with a grin as the Doctor shook his head.

"Ok one of us will have to leave the link and safely pilot the flyer, there is no other way." The Doctor said finally as the reality of their situation dawned on them all.

"But you said if we leave, we cannot return." Kathryn implored, realising for perhaps the first time in a long time, she could not do this alone.

"I know, that's why I have to go, you two share the closet bond, you are also both human, and are more likely to be able to execute the plan. Also if one of you does get hurt, I am the best person to fix you up." The Doctor replied, and by the tone of his voice it was the final word on the matter. No one bothered arguing.

"Ok so how do we get out?" Tom asked as the Doctor led them back out of the door and into to the hall way.

"I took a leaf from your book, Mr Paris, all those old movies you used to love watching, well I remembered one and thought it would be perfect." The Doctor smiled, looked at them each in turn and stood up straight.

"Good luck, we are all counting on you." He said before clicking the heel of his shoes together and saying.

"There's no place like home."

With that he was gone, vanished right in front of their eyes. Kathryn turned to Tom and gave him a brief smile.

"Now how do you suppose he knew you showed that film to me as well?" She asked as Tom shrugged his shoulders.

"Magic." He suggested then as they both turned back to the door they had just exited.

"What do you say we see how this particular scene plays out?" Kathryn suggested as Tom held out his hand.

"Ladies first."

when the Doctor returned to the flyer, he quickly went up to the helm to see they were only a few minutes away from their destination. He quickly disengaged the auto pilot and manoeuvred the flyer into the moons orbit. Locating a perfect crater in which to land the ship the Doctor quickly made the decent. Scanning the surrounding space for any ships, he was pleased to find they were well and truly alone. Turing off the engines and switching to grey mode the Doctor was, for a moment filled with the silence. It was an eerie feeling, especially as he was effectively alone on the flyer also. Deciding to go back and check on his companions, the Doctor left the pilots chair and headed aft. All that followed was more silence, he hoped that Tom and Kathryn would be successful, or he feared, the rest of the Alfa quadrant would soon be bathed in the same cold harsh emptiness that he now felt.

As Tom and Kathryn walked back in the door, it was as though they had never left, like time had frozen inside the room. The cards were still on the table waiting to be played, and the people sat around it, looked over at them like it was the first time they had walked in the door.

"Hey come and join us Captain, Tom." Chacotay said, his eyes moving to Tom, a glance only before passing on to Kathryn, where they lingered until she sat down.

"Decided to join us after all then." He said as he dealt the pair into the game.

"I was persuaded." Kathryn said with more than a hint of irony as Tom gave her a quick smile.

"Well glad you could make it." Chacotay replied as he picked up his cards, and did not look at either of them again.

Kathryn sat looking from one crew member to another, wondering what the point of all this was. She could certainly see the reasoning behind it, bring her back to a difficult time in her life, but why here? A moment of what could be happiness for them, to come together as a crew. Harry was sitting to her left, then B'Elanna, followed by Chacotay, and finally Tom to her right. Was it the people that were absent that she was supposed to be thinking about? Realising that she had been so deep in thought, that the others had been waiting for her to play for a while, Kathryn quickly snapped out of her reprieve and placed a chip on the table.

"How long did you say it was going to take us to cross this, what are we calling it, the void?" B'Elanna said obviously talking to Harry as he also placed a chip into the pile, and then another.

"Raise, and about six months, give or take a week." He replied as Chacotay placed his cards down and counted his chips.

"Well at least we will all be brilliant poker players by the end of it." He said before placing the required amount of chips into the pile and looking at Tom.

"Umm I think it might take a little longer than that." He replied with a grin, as he to placed his chips into the pile. Kathryn hesitated before she also continued on with the game, something wasn't sitting right with her about this conversation. It seemed wrong somehow yet she couldn't put her finger on it.

" I raise." She said not really thinking about it, but something was telling her this was the right thing to do. Following her instincts had always been something Kathryn had done, not doing so now, could prove to be a fatale mistake.

"Are you sure Captain, I mean your hand doesn't look very promising." Harry said noting that Kathryn had nothing but a pair of two's showing. Kathryn glanced at her cards and shrugged.

"Going to cost you fifty to find out Ensign." She said , also deciding to play along, maybe the queen was in control, but as yet she had not clue what their plan was. Kathryn intended on keeping it that way.

'I wonder what this is all about?' Tom thought as he sat there and watched everyone put in their chips. Usually someone would have folded by now, but apparently not in this game. 'not sure Kathryn's got the hand to win though' Tom thought as he also paid in his chips.

"Oh how can you be so sure of that Tom?" Kathryn said from her seat next to him. Tom almost jumped at the sound of her voice, especially as it was a response to something he had never said.

"Umm I didn't say anything." He said cautiously, as B'Elanna finally called the bet and laid down her hand. Tom and Kathryn barely noticed as Harry pulled in the spoils, as they looked at one another. Slight frowns appearing on both their faces.

"Well it looks like my luck is out tonight, I think I will turn in." Tom said getting up. Kathryn did not hesitate in following him as they both left. Ignoring the calls to come back and have another go from their friends they both moved into the hall way once more.

"What just happened?" Kathryn asked as soon as they were alone.

"I'm not sure, perhaps it was a coincidence, but I think not." Tom said as gave Kathryn a quick glance ' I think we can read each others thoughts' Tom then thought moving them down the hall and away from prying ears.

"Ok so you think we can read each thoughts." Kathryn said and Tom stopped moving and turned to her.

"Exactly, I mean why not, we are neurologically linked, it would make sense." Tom said knowing that once could have been explained away, but twice was pushing it.

"Ok what am I thinking?" Kathryn said looking at Tom intently and repeating the thought over and over.

"You were thinking, if I can here your thoughts, can the queen do the same." Tom said, it was a weird feeling, like someone else was inside his mind, and yet it was also kind of exciting.

'I agree, it's a bit weird, but we can use it to our advantage' Kathryn continued on in thought, as it was now obvious their link was growing stronger.

'I see what you mean, as long as we keep our thoughts away from the queen it will give us an advantage.' Tom also thought, both deciding that talking out loud could now be dangerous, it seemed prudent to now simply communicate telepathically.

'You think it's necessary, even when we are alone' Tom continued as they rounded a corner and the scenery changed again.

'I don't think we are ever truly alone in this world.' Kathryn added as they walked amongst tall grass and into the blazing sunshine.

"Does this remind you of anything?" Tom said out loud, thinking this was a safe enough topic to talk about. 'plus if we don't speak at all, she will know something is wrong' Tom added silently and Kathryn nodded at him in reply.

"No not really, but I guess it could be any field, on any plant I have visited, they do all look pretty much the same." Kathryn replied also out loud now as they looked around. Moving forward they began to cross into a more arid back drop. The grass grew thinner until only sporadic plant life existed amongst only rock and dust.

"Now I really don't know where we are." Tom said scratching his head slightly, as he quickly realised Kathryn had stopped. Her mind was going a mile a minute, and Tom was having problems sifting though all the random thoughts.

"God how do you think like this." He said finally rubbing his forehead until a sharp image became clear in his mind.

' six months, that was how long Harry said it would take to cross the void, that was wrong, originally it would have taken almost two years, why the time change?' Kathryn now thought as Tom quickly picked up on where she was going with this.

'Maybe its not the time it would have taken Voyager, maybe its how far the Borg are from Earth' This thought was enough for Kathryn to take in a deep breath.

"Then we have to figure this out soon, because that means they will be on the outer limits of federation space in less than two months." Kathryn said this out loud as Tom nodded back at her.

"I still have no idea where we are, but it must be somewhere we know, or we wouldn't be here." He replied as Kathryn went to perch on a rock near by. It was at that moment Tom spotted the thorny plant sicking out from between the rocks. Inside his mind he shouted no, but it was too late. Kathryn gave a small yelp and brought her finger to her mouth.

Tom hung his head and said "I think I know where we are, and I think we are in serious trouble."

TBC...

So where are they? Think you know? Thank you for reading XxX


	29. Chapter 29

Welcome back, apologies for the delay. This chapter is dedicated too 100, because of her continued support and encouragement for me to update.

For a moment Kathryn stood silently in front of Tom, the thoughts running though her mind, too jumbled and fleeting for Tom to pick up on any single one. But he could tell she was trying to figure out what he was talking about. Then the thought he had been trying to hide form her for so long came unbidden in to his mind. Flashing through his memory like grains of sand running through his fingers. It could not be undone now. He new she had seen his thoughts, felt his embarrassment, and his desire. Her own reflected back almost as strong. As the image of Kathryn pushing him against a wall and pressing her lips to his own was now causing through both their memories.

Shaking her head Kathryn looked down at the tiny spot of blood on her finger where the thorn had gone in.

"Oh no." She whispered as she remembered the feeling of being drunk, light headed, and god for bid, incredibly aroused. Starting to feel somewhat dizzy, she sat down hard on the rock behind her. Clamping her hand over her mouth as a very un-admiral like giggle threatened to erupt from her mouth. Blinking her eyes, she looked up and tried to focus on her surroundings. They were however refusing to stay still. Her eyes eventually fell on Tom's form, he was standing no more than five feet away, but even that was too great a distance. She felt drawn to him, the pull almost painful in its strength. Placing both hands on the rock now and forcing herself to stand, Kathryn closed the distance between them to mere inches.

"Tom." She breathed out his name, her breath washing over him as Tom tried to fight the images in his mind. Her thoughts were threatening to overwhelm his resolve. Her hand suddenly on his arm actually made him jump backwards, the thought of her naked sweaty body beneath his, the last straw as Tom yelled out to whomever might here him.

"Enough! This isn't real, this isn't what I want, not like this." He said virtually panting for breath as Kathryn made a further move to close the distance between them.

"Stop Kathryn, listen, you are not infected, you are sat in the flyer, this is all fake, fight it Kathryn, you are the strongest woman I know, and if anyone can beat this you can." His voice was no more than a whisper, but it did stop Kathryn from reaching out to him. Tom could see a flicker of change cross her face. It was accompanied by a single thought. 'Not real'

"Yes it's an illusion." Tom said out loud, not caring now who heard them, they had to get passed this, or all would be lost.

"But you want me too I can feel it." Kathryn replied, her hand reaching for him before dropping back as Tom shook his head.

"No look deeper." He said before locking his gaze with hers. Kathryn could feel something coming from beneath the desire, something far more profound and she bulked. Moving away from him quickly she staggered back until she was once again seated on the rock.

For a moment they were both silent, both closed off from each other, locking their thoughts away before Kathryn shook her head. 'I'm ok' She thought now, loudly and clearly, so she knew Tom would here her.

"Good, now maybe we should get out of here?" He suggested with a slight smile. Kathryn stood up and joined him in moving forwards. They had no destination, and no plan, it seemed that this was going to be far harder than either of them had ever imagined.

As they walked through the barren landscape, Tom tried to keep his thoughts on the job in hand, but he could not help the anxiety that was building up inside him. 'Would you please stop worrying, you're making me nervous' Kathryn shared with him, as she silently looked over at Tom as he gave her a quick, yet somewhat false smile. 'Sorry I can't help it, maybe we need to both think about a place we can go to execute our plan.' Tom projected back as Kathryn looked around and racked her brains for a time and place where they might be able to do this. Before either of them could settle on a destination the scene changed. Kathryn looked around with utter confusion, while Tom's eyes grew wide and he subconsciously moved closer to Kathryn. 'where are we?' Kathryn asked silently as Tom heard whispers all around them. 'Do you remember when Harry and I were taken prisoner, and locked in that huge space prison?' Tom thought back as the whispers grew louder.

'Yes, oh no, we need to get out of here' Kathryn said remembering the clamp, and the effects it had had on her crew members. Her hand went to the back of her neck, but she found nothing.

"Why don't we have the clamp?" she asked out loud this time as Tom turned to her.

"I guess the queen knew we wouldn't be effected by it, as we managed to over come the last, issue." Tom replied cautiously, not wanting to bring those images back in a hurry.

"Ok so what do we do now?" Kathryn said as movement caught her eye, and she and Tom stood back to back, watching as several men came out from the bowels of the prison.

"I suggest run." Tom said quickly grabbing hold of Kathryn's hand and pulling her towards an opening in the group of prisoners that were threatening to surround them. Kathryn did not question his decision. They were unarmed and out numbered, they also had no idea if they could get hurt or killed in this reality. 'I suspect if we believe we are dead, or hurt we will be' Tom thought as he latched on to Kathryn's line of thinking, as they ducked behind some fallen boxes. 'Probably best to lay low then.' Kathryn thought back as some of the people following them moved passed. 'At least we have the advantage of not having to talk to one another, less noise.' Tom thought as Kathryn gave him a small pat on the shoulder and stood up. 'You know I am not sure this is exactly what it seems. I think the queen is using all these images to get into our minds, but cracks keep showing through.' Kathryn thought as Tom followed her down a narrow passage way, and moved behind a wall.

'Oh like what?' Tom questioned as they sat for a moment and listened.

'Well there was the time difference in the poker game, the amount of Kazon ships that attacked. From what I remember it was only two ships in the scenario we entered in, not three.' Kathryn replied as Tom nodded his head, also remembering the incident.

'And the last one?' Tom asked hesitantly as Kathryn flashed him an uncertain look.

'I'm not sure, maybe that memory being so recent, it was easier to keep pure.' Kathryn said pushing aside her most recent discovery and concertinaing on this scenario. 'I think that's our way in, when something is incorrect, or out of place, we need to latch on to it and get inside her mind.' Kathryn thought finally, before voices could be heard again in the distance.

"Maybe we should try fighting them, I mean we can't run forever." Tom spoke out loud this time, moving towards a pipe and picking it up. Testing its weight he was obviously satisfied with his weapon.

"Ok, but remember, this is not real, things may not be all they appear to be, look for the opening." Kathryn replied as she too picked up a pipe and gripped it tightly in her hand. 'What I wouldn't give for a compression phaser rifle right now.' She thought and Tom smiled, Half expecting one to appear, they were both slightly disappointed when it did not. Something else was coming though, and now the footsteps were echoing loud in both their ears.

Waiting until the five men who had been hunting them were virtually on top of them, Tom and Kathryn sprang from their hiding place and took two of the men out quickly. The other three backed off, all brandishing weapons of their own. One held a wooden bat, several nails were driven into the end of it. Another was wielding what appeared to bee a ball on the end of a chain. Tom supplied the answer for Kathryn via his thoughts. It was what used to be known as a mace. It was a deadly looking weapon, and Kathryn backed away from him slightly. The last man was carrying a knife, It must have been a foot long and wickedly sharp. It flashed in the dim light coming from beyond the passageway they had come down.

The advantage of surprise now lost Kathryn realised they had been back into what amounted to a corner. There was no room here to manoeuvre, she could not use her speed and quickness to her advantage here. Kathryn new in an out and out fight, she would loose.

"What do you want form us?" Kathryn asked, brandishing her pipe, but making no move to really use it.

"From him, nothing, from you, well its been a long time since we have seen a woman down here." The man with the knife spoke up, giving Kathryn a lurid stare, before Tom's pipe connected with his face. Thinking he would drop like a tone of bricks like the previous two, Both Kathryn and Tom were shocked when he remained upright and simply shook his head. Turning to them he smiled. It was long and slow, and there was nothing behind his eyes. Kathryn's shudder transferred to Tom, as then men started to advance on them.

Having no choice now Kathryn lashed out with her pipe. She connected with the man with the bat, but he didn't even pause in his forward movement. Tucking and rolling to the side, Kathryn ducked under his first swing. Aiming for the man's legs, she once again struck. The ripping sound was sickening, as his thigh tore open. Dodging out of the way Kathryn dived back under another swing, lashing out with the pipe again, this time she hit the man's face hard. Whipping it sideways as she quickly swung again, hoping to take him down. As she swung downwards Kathryn hesitated for a moment, seeing the man's face ripped open, not to display ripped muscles and blood, but a network of circuitry. This revelation was to be short lived, as she felt pain rip though her. Looking down at herself she found she was in fact uninjured. Her head quickly snapped over towards Tom, who was on the ground, as the man with the mace swung his weapon to hit Tom again.

"No!" Kathryn cried as she leapt high, throwing her body straight into the bulk of the man, threatening to end Tom's life. Her weight did little to him, but it did put him off balance enough for his aim to be off. Tom managed to roll out of the way and scramble up to his feet.

"Tom they aren't human, they're machines!" Kathryn yelled as she planted a kick straight into the man with the mace's chest. Tom heard her loud and clear, as he placed his hands on either side of the man with the knifes head. Twisting it until he heard his wiring start to crackle and spark under the pressure. The man dropped as Tom panted for breath, he glanced over at Kathryn, who had run her pipe straight though the man with the mace's throat, his weapon now laying non-threateningly on the floor next to his feet. Rounding on the last man Kathryn and Tom backed him into a corner. He no longer looked confident, his bat hung limp at his side as Kathryn picked up the knife and ran her finger along its sharpened edge.

"Take me to your leader." She said, as she felt Tom's smile fill her, and without looking, new it would be plastered all over his face.

They were being led through several more narrow passageways, some of them were empty, others contained more prisoners. They seemed however to be keeping their distance, the sight of one of their own, being lead at knife point, by the two new comers, was obviously keeping the rest of them from trying anything. Eventually they moved into a larger room. There were several dwellings here, ones that had obviously been reserved for the more senior members of the colony. These were more tent like, had roofs and doors. Some from what Kathryn could see even had limited furnishings. Walking up to the largest of these the man stopped and pointed inside.

"Andreas is in there." He said and bowed his head slightly as he backed away. Kathryn allowed him to go as she stepped forward. 'This could be a trap' Tom thought hastily as Kathryn pulled open the makeshift door. 'I know but it could also be an opportunity. You saw those men, they were Borg I am sure of it.' Kathryn replied without saying a word. Pulling on the door, but heeding Tom's warning they both stepped inside. What they found was no wise man sitting on a pile of dusty cushions. Or a warrior draped in the bones of those he had killed, no what they found was far worse.

Tom stepped back in shock, almost falling over the narrow railing that lined the walk way they were now stood upon.

"Well this I was not expecting." Kathryn said as she made a grab for Tom's hand to steady him.

"Now what are we supposed to do?" Tom said looking around him, totally in ore of the vastness of this structure.

"Now we take them down." Kathryn replied as she looked upon the familiar sight of the interior of a Borg cube.

TBC...

Thank you for reading XxX


	30. Chapter 30

Why is it I only seem to get inspiration to write really late at night. Anyway apologies for the delay in updates, please enjoy.

The Doctor sat alone in the flyer, he neither felt the cold, nor the absence of the life support. He did however notice the silence. It had been two days since Janeway and Paris had entered the neural link, the Doctor suspected they themselves had no idea of the time that had passed. The Doctor on the other hand was very aware of it. He had shut down life support to every part of the ship except the aft compartment, and had been giving his two sleeping companions water and nutrients on a regular basis. It did not however seem to be enough, not only were their bodies showing signs of failing, but also the ship seemed to be doing the same.

A few hours ago the Doctor had discovered a significant power drain in the ships shields and base systems. He was no engineer, so he was working purely on guesses, but the only conclusion he could come up with, was something in the moons atmosphere, or composition was literally feeding off the flyers power. Turning off everything seemed to have stemmed the flow, but he did not know how much longer he could support the two bodies in the aft compartment. Leaving seemed like the only option, but he had no idea how that would effect the ship. Or maybe more importantly, Janeway and Paris. Sighing loudly, even though he was neither inhaling any actual air, nor expressing the gesture so others could see his frustration, the Doctor briefly wondered why he had done it at all.

He was ripped from his thoughts suddenly by a beeping coming from the aft compartment. Getting up and running through the ship, the Doctor deactivated the containment filed for a moment, before re-pressurising the rest of the ship. Entering the aft section, the Doctor noticed that Tom's electrolytes were very out of balance. He could not simply disengage Tom from the neural link, nor could he get a message to him to say something was wrong. Slamming his fist down on the desk, the Doctor attempted to correct the imbalance. Succeeding somewhat the Doctor had no choice now but to get the ship off this moon. He knew it was risky, but whatever was draining the power from the ship, also seemed to be effecting his companions. The Doctor was also concerned about his own mobile emitter. Sitting down at the pilots console, the Doctor shivered at the thought of him going off line permanently. It was not simply his own mortality that frightened him, but he knew, if he was shut down, then Janeway and Paris stood little change of surviving either. Firing up the flyers engines, the Doctor was relieved when they came to life. Not waiting for a moment he began flying the ship out of the crater they had descended into. The ship seemed to struggle, only gaining a few feet, even on full thrusters. They were moving however, and until that changed the Doctor was not going to risk moving to impulse, so close to the moons surface. There was also another reason the Doctor was, for now happy to take things slow. He had no idea what or who might be waiting for them once they had emerged. The possibility that the Borg were somehow behind their unexplained power drain had crossed his mind more than once. In the end he realised it changed nothing. To stay meant certain death. At least out in open space they had a chance.

Tom had been silent for a while now, but Janeway knew they were running out of time. She could feel her body getting weaker. She was having to concentrate really hard to have any cohesive thoughts at all. What was more she knew Tom was in the same state. She could tell by the jumble of thoughts running through his mind almost constantly now.

"Ok we need to get to work." Janeway said, moving forward and into one of the many corridors of the hive.

"Ok so what's the plan, I mean this is not real, we can hardly walk up to one and say hey ever thought of being yourself." Tom said, obvious irritation showing through as they moved along the corridor, until they found several drones in their regeneration cycle.

"This may not be real in the truest sense, but if we have in fact stepped into the queens mind, then it's real enough. You see the Borg operate on a very sophisticated neural link. One which the queen controls, but all are connected. We are literally stepping inside the Borg mind, even if our bodies are not actually here." Janeway replied keeping her voice calm, even though she was suppressing her anger at Tom's sudden negative attitude.

"Hey I'm not being negative, I was just saying." Tom replied in answer to her random thoughts. This only seemed to add to her frustration however as she turned and whirled on him.

"You think this is easy for me, that you are the only one with doubts here, well here's a revelation for you. You're not." Kathryn regretted the words almost as they dropped out of her mouth. Tom felt her grief almost immediately and went over to her, placing a single hand on her shoulder. The words sorry were not spoken by either, they didn't need to be. Looking up, Janeway spotted an empty regeneration unit.

"No." Tom said as the thought crossed Janeway's mind as she ignored both his vocal and internal shouts for her to stop.

Upon reaching the unit, Janeway ran her hand down the sleek metal, and for a moment she was back in cargo bay two. Looking up at Seven as the former drone emerged for the first time after her implants had largely been removed.

"Don't do it alone, I will find another unit and go in with you." Tom said as Janeway shook the thought quickly and stepped inside.

"No I have to do this alone, if we are going to plant the seed of individuality into the hive, then going in as a pair will not have the same effect." Janeway said as she turned around and looked at him. The height of the unit made them now equal in height, and their eyes met.

"You and I are closer in more ways than I can count, our shared experiences, our joined minds, and." Kathryn hesitated unable to say the words she thought them instead. 'our shared feelings, its too much right now.' Janeway concluded silently, but Tom had heard her, she knew that for certain, as his face dropped into a look of sorrow and joy. It was an odd expression and Janeway gave him a little smile.

"No gloating about that Mr Paris, we don't have time, right now I have work to do, and I think you should leave." Janeway said quickly before Tom decided he wanted to have the feelings chat right here.

"Ok, but when you came back, we have a very long journey home, and I plan to take full advantage of it." He said with a slight wink, as a thought passed through his mind before he could stop it. The responding blush that arose in Kathryn's cheeks, was worth the slight punch to the shoulder that followed it.

"Go now." Kathryn then said stepping back, as Tom prepared to click his heels together. The sound of his shoes tapping together made Kathryn pause for a moment, without thinking she reached out and grabbed Tom in the middle of his shirt. Pulling him closer she pressed her lips to his. For a second Tom was frozen, then his lips parted and he deepened the kiss, pulling her so close to him that their bodied pressed from shoulder to hip. Pulling back breathless, knowing that right now this could go no further, Kathryn was unable to speak. 'Now Tom, before I can't do this.' Janeway thought and his time Tom did not hesitate. Clicking his heels together, he spoke the words and was gone. The silence that followed almost had Kathryn on her knees. The loss of his thoughts was almost too much. Shaking herself and using the unit for support she stepped back and under the humm of the unit. Not knowing exactly how she was going to do this Kathryn simply closed her eyes and allowed her arms to hang limp by her sides.

Tom sat bolt upright in the aft compartment, gasping for breath as he did so, the feeling of disorientation lasted longer than he expected, as the room span and he grabbed hold of something to support himself with.

"Doc, hey Doc you there." Tom called as he felt like he was going to fall out of his seat any minute. Grabbing hold of the arm rest and focusing on the table in front of him Tom managed to settled his world down. It was then he realised that they were in fact moving, and not in any gentle warp speed manner either. Getting up quickly now, and ignoring his own disorientation, Tom opened the door and stumbled through the flyer until he came to the cockpit and saw the Doctor piloting the ship wildly.

"Hey what in the world happened?" Tom said quickly taking up the position at navigation and checking the sensors.

"We were ambushed by a couple of Romulan war birds." The Doctor said as he quickly pulled a starboard roll to avoid more disrupter fire.

"Why don't we cloak?" Tom asked as he saw that only a single war bird was actually pursuing them.

"Long story, but right now we need to get rid of our friends don't you think?" The Doctor said as the flyers aft armour took a hit.

"Ok on three swap seats." Tom said as the Doctor stood up with one hand on the console.

"Ok one, two, three." Tom shouted as they quickly shuffled passed one another and Tom took the helm. Now in his element Tom ran rings around the war bird. The flyer was far more manoeuvrable at impulse speed, and it seemed as though the Romulan's were far more interested in disabling them than destroying them.

"They want the ship, no surprise, I am going to target their engines, be ready to fire." Tom stated as the Doctor watched as the war bird loomed large in the view screen.

"Hey where is the Admiral?" He asked as Tom quickly avoided another blast.

"Long story, now Doc fire." Tom said slamming the flyer into a barrel roll a second after the Doctor let rip with the forward torpedo.

"Direct hit, lets get out of here before they can figure out how to fix it." Tom said pushing the flyer into warp nine point five and disappearing once more into the inky blackness.

Turning to the Doctor Tom was waiting for an explanation, the Doctor sighed and began telling Tom all he knew.

"So I had to get out of that crater, when I got out the power started to return, but not to full strength. I was about to go and hunt down what was wrong, when two war birds appeared. I'm not sure if they had been following us somehow, or if it was just chance. I mean we know they are out here waiting for the Borg, and this was the only time we have been de cloaked since we saw them. I ran for it, knowing I could not start and win a fire fight alone. I managed to disable one ship, but the other caught on fast and managed to avoid most of my fire. That's pretty much where you came in." The Doctor said looking very grateful, something somewhat out of character, but Tom did not call him on it.

"So what about the Admiral, I take it you have not completed your mission yet?" The Doctor asked in a quick change of subject as Tom also did his part in filling in the hologram. Carefully missing out all the more personal parts of their journey, Tom concluded with Janeway's plan to get inside their minds using the regeneration unit. The Doctor simply nodded his head as they flew though empty space straight towards where they now knew the Borg were headed.

"If you are correct, and they estimate arrival time at Earth to be only a few months, and we are flying towards them at warp nine, that would put them on our door step in only a matter of hours." the Doctor said doing the internal maths, and looking over at Tom.

"Lets hope Kathryn can do what she set out to do before then a Doc. But if not, we better hunt down that power leak and make sure the flyer is ready." Tom said standing up, before he moved however he slowed the flyer to warp seven.

"Just in case." He said with a rye smile that the Doctor returned.

"Indded. I'm a Doctor, I would quite like to stay that way."

Kathryn opened her eyes to find herself in a field, there were thousands of people around her playing, eating smiling. She wondered among them, none of them seemed to be paying her any attention, none of them even seemed to see her.

"Hello." She greeted one young woman who just smiled at her and turned away, walking towards the outskirts of the gathered group before disappearing. This sparked a memory in Kathryn, she remembered Uni-matrix zero, how the queen had shut it down, it now seemed that something, or someone else had found away around that. Re-doubling her efforts she tried to speak to any person she came across, but they all simply smiled at her and walked off. Some disappearing, others to talk, or eat.

"Ok what is going on here?" She shouted to no one in particular until a lone figure stood out amongst the crowd. A deftly silence fell on the field, the group of people then parted like the red sea as the woman approached Kathryn's position. She was tall, blonde and thin. Her long arms seemed to wrap around her body like tendrils, as she got closer Kathryn could see a small smile on the woman's face.

"Admiral Janeway, welcome to Uni-matrix Zero one, it's a little world I created, now I am afraid you are going to have to live in it."

TBC... Thank you for reading XxX


	31. Chapter 31

"The two great movers of the human mind are the desire of good, and the fear of evil" - Amit Abraham

Kathryn stood in the silence for a moment, no one moved around her, no birds sang, and no wind moved the grass beneath her feet. This truly was a desolate place, no matter how many people seemed to be occupying it. The people here were nothing more than the mindless automatons that inhabited the real Borg ships. This seemingly real vision of freedom, was nothing more than a cage without bars. A prison designed solely for the mind. Kathryn had a suspicion that it had been created for one mind in particular, her own.

"Do you believe in God Admiral Janeway." The woman said after a few moments, it took Kathryn a second to register any one had spoken at all, but when she did, she was unsure how to answer such a question.

"I guess I never really thought about it." She replied in honesty as the woman, who Kathryn was now sure was in fact the Borg queen took another step in her direction.

"My family do, they all believe in a higher power, one that controls everything in their lives, gives them purpose, meaning. They do not need to ask the big questions, because they all ready have the answers." The queen said walking as she did so, until she stood mere inches from Kathryn. For a brief moment she wondered if she could simply reach out and kill the queen right here. Something told her this was not going to be that simple.

"If they have all the answers, then why continue to keep going?" Kathryn asked as the queen looked around at her doting family.

"Because the search for perfection is endless, with every species we come a step closer, but the quest will never truly end until everyone has been assimilated." Kathryn was shocked with the single mindedness of this being, it both worried and inspired her as she continued to talk with the only person she ultimately could.

"But if the pursuit is endless, why bother trying at all. And if you ever do achieve your goal of total assimilation, what then? What awaits the Borg after that?" Kathryn couldn't help the small smile that crossed her lips, as for a while the queen was silent. The logic, one almost as harsh and unforgiving as a Vulcan's, stumbled over the questions posed by Kathryn.

"In finding perfection, we will find piece, what greater motivation could there be." The queen finally responded as several people nodded their heads around her. Kathryn was stuck by the eeriness of it all. Like a flock of sheep around their Shepard. Her word was law, without question or debate, and yet she offered no real answers.

"What about love, real unquestioning love, the one where someone would do anything for you, give their life for you, sacrifice everything for you, even if it means questioning their own beliefs. One given freely, not imposed on them because of some potion or implants." Kathryn said, knowing that this was something she had not truly understood until quite recently. Kathryn found herself thinking once again about Tom, and how much he had given her, and even how much they had given each other.

"Love is of no concern to us, it is imperfect by its very nature, the chance of failure high, the rewards not beneficial. It is a weakness we intend to eradicate." The queen smiled now, it was a slow smile one that chilled Kathryn to her very core. It was not long before she found out the reason for the queens change in mood.

"You will find out very shortly, why love is dangerous, that even the strongest will can be broken, when the weakness of love is involved." In that moment everyone around Kathryn vanished, she was left alone in the empty field. Spinning around and gasping for breath as her chest heaved in and out, Kathryn didn't know what to do. There was no one to save her now, she was alone. Powerless to prevent what was happening outside of this illusion. Clicking her heals and calling for home had proven useless, she was trapped, and Kathryn was sure the queens speech had something to do with Tom. There were few things left in Kathryn's life now that she truly cared about. Voyager had been taken away from her, her crew scattered to the four winds and getting on with their lives. Her home, the Doctor and Tom were all she had left now. The question was, could love conquer all, or would she have to conquer love to save the rest?

When Tom finally discovered the problem in the power cells in the engine core he almost threw down his tools in anger.

"The corrosion has all but eaten its way through these power cables, we are going to have to replace them if we want to operate at full strength." He said crawling back out of the Jeffreys tube and standing up beside the Doctor.

"How long will that take?" He asked, a look of concern crossing his face.

"Well I can replicate the parts, but it will take several hours, then to fit and test them, the better part of a day." Tom replied running his palms across his face and fighting the wiriness that had settled in. he had not been to sleep in almost three days, even though his body had been technically asleep his mind had been over active. Now his brain was crying out for rest.

"Ok well I can replicate the things we need, you have to get some sleep, you will be of no use to me , or the Admiral if you are running on fumes. First I think we should find a safe place to hide the flyer, without our cloak we are vulnerable." The Doctor said completely aware of Toms' fatigue. The responding nod was all the Doctor needed as he escorted Tom to his bunk and made him lay down.

"You will find the schematics for replicating the new cables in the engineering section of the replicators data banks. You will need to input length and amount yourself, but I am sure you can handle that." Tom said with a slight smile as the Doctor nodded. With a slight pat to the now asleep Tom Paris's shoulder the Doctor went to the helm and looked for somewhere in the area they could use for cover. An L class planet would, for now have to be sufficient, the high ionisation in the planets atmosphere would at least protect them from long range sensors. If anyone got a little closer however he would have to rethink his plan. Course and speed set, the Doctor went to the replicator and input the information it needed. The computer told him it would take three hours to complete the work. Sighing again, he moved off and back down into the aft compartment. Going immediately to Janeway, he checked her vitals and fed her body with water and nutrients. He did notice an increased heart rate, but not knowing what was going on inside the mental link, he did not worry too much about the slight increase. Walking back through the ship he was greeted with silence once more. Taking a quick look at Tom and reassuring himself that everything was ok he set himself at the helm and waited.

Kathryn had been concentrating hard on taking herself away from this place. Trying to focus her thoughts on specific events in her life. Even on individual people. Nothing had worked, she still remained in this place alone. Not even the queen had returned to talk to her some more. Kathryn briefly wondered if this what going mad truly felt like. Shaking her head and standing up she walked around for a while. There was nothing here but grass, no trees no flowers, no nothing, but endless seas of green. It reminded her of her parents farm back in Indiana. Some of the fields seemed to stretch on for miles. She used to sit in them when she was a child, looking up at the stars and long to be there. The memory sparked something, a flicker on the horizon, for a moment Kathryn swore she had seen her family home. Walking towards the image that was no longer there, Kathryn again remembered doing this as a child. Coming home for dinner after long lazy days in the summer holidays. Again the scene flickered, the house stood off into the distance, her mothers voice floated on the wind. Her name being called she was sure of it. As the memory grew stronger so did the images. The grass now blew as the wind picked up strength. Kathryn bushed a stand of hair from her face as she walked, her stride now becoming more purposeful as she moved through the long swaying blades of green.

As she placed one foot on the porch, Kathryn almost expected it to vanish underneath her. Pushing that thought away quickly she continued to envelop herself in this experience. For some reason this vision seemed more powerful than the others. More real, right down the the smell of freshly baked apple pie coming from the kitchen window. Pushing open the door Kathryn entered the slightly darkened hallway. The floor board creaked under her weight and she smiled. Her father had offered to get that replaced so many times, and her mother had insisted that she liked it. Claimed that it made the house seem more real, less modern, less replicated. Kathryn moved on towards the gentle humming coming from the kitchen. The slight ping and clank of the pots as her mother washed them by hand. Finally coming to the door way she lent against the frame for a moment. Simply watching her mother as she cleaned. The tune she was humming was familiar, but Kathryn couldn't place it.

"Well are you going to come in, or continue eye balling me like a Tarcalian hawk." Gretchen Janeway said, turning to he daughter with a rye smile.

"I was going to settle for watching, but as you offered so kindly." Kathryn said with a rye smile in return. She walked forward into the kitchen and took a seat. Her mother inclined her head and went over to the counter. Lifting the pie she brought it to the table.

"Here have some pie, I baked it special." She said setting it on the table and backing up slightly. Kathryn looked down at the pie, and although it smelt like apples, it did not look like one of her mothers famous pies. The pie was in fact a globe, Earth, it sat there unmoving, its bright blue and green almost hypnotizing, until Kathryn saw her mother coming towards it with a large knife.

"Shall I cut you a slice." She asked her voice as normal and inviting as ever. Yet a sudden urge made Kathryn jump up and clutch her mothers wrist.

"No!" she shouted as Gretchen clutched hold of the knife hard, her face turned dark with anger, and her free hand shot up and grabbed hold of Kathryn's shoulder.

"If you do not save it, then it will be taken, piece by piece until there is nothing left. They will make sure of that. Heed my warning Kathryn, you, and you alone can save us." Gretchen suddenly released her, the knife dropped and clattered to the floor. She turned and went back to the sink, washing pots again, like nothing had ever happened. She didn't even seem to realise that Kathryn was still in the room. Kathryn had to get out of there, something was driving her to run from this house. Trusting her instincts she did just that. Running until her feet met grass once more, she turned then and the house was gone. She did not know what to make of this latest image. Was it something she had created, or something the queen had orchestrated to drive her just that little bit more crazy. Shaking her head she wished not for the first time that Tom was here with her.

When the wires were done replicating the Doctor had no choice but to wake Tom, he went to his bunk and shook him but he got no response. Worried the Doctor ran to his med kit and got a stimulant. Placing it at Tom's neck he hesitated. There was something not right here, this was not simple fatigue keeping him asleep. If it were there should have been some response to the Doctors shouting and prodding, but there had been nothing. Just then he noticed Tom's lips moving, a single word fell from his mouth.

"Kathryn?"

Tom had felt her pull as soon as he had fallen asleep, but he could not find her. He had been walking through endless fields of grass, and yet had found nothing. Now as he reached the crest of the hill he looked down upon more fields. Shielding his eyes against the sun he finally saw her, staring off into the distance. He didn't shout her name, he simply ran full tilt down the hill until he was standing breathless in front of her.

"Kathryn." He whispered as she threw her arms around him. She stepped back after a moment and looked at him suspiciously.

"Is it really you Tom?" She questioned as he patted himself and looked down.

"Yeah its really me. I fell asleep and could feel your need for me." He said with a slight blush as she smiled up at him.

"I am so glad you are here, the Queen has trapped me in some kind of constructed reality, I cant break the link." She said before her face turned serious.

"They are coming Tom, and they are close, she warned me that you were in danger." Kathryn said taking hold of his hand and squeezing hard.

"Well we are getting the flyer ready as we speak, well the Doc is anyway. We had a little trouble, but it will all be fixed soon." Tom said trying not to worry her, but knowing the damage was done.

"Trouble, what kind of trouble?" She asked, her I'm in charge and I demand an answer tone returning.

"Umm well I don't want to say here, you know in case someone is listening, but don't worry we are on top of it. Now how can I help you get out of this?" Tom asked knowing that fixing the flyer and destroying the Borg would mean very little if he lost Kathryn along with them.

"I'm not sure, but I think I can fight the link, I just had some kind of vision, it was powerful, and I think I broke through whatever hold the queen has over me. For a short while anyway." Kathryn said not really wanting to go into details. She didn't want to tell Tom she may have to do this alone, if her vision was correct.

"Maybe I just needed to know you were still ok." She said finally reaching for both his hands now and taking them gently into her own.

"Don't give up Kathryn, you are the strongest person I know. If you want something badly enough I know you will do anything to achieve it." There was something behind his words, something so final. Kathryn didn't want to go to that place right now, she didn't have the strength, but she knew Tom would at least understand. On some level she had always known that.

"I won't, and promise me, you won't either." Kathryn finally said before Tom looked up and felt something else pulling at him.

"I think I have to go." He said dropping her hands and taking a single step back. Kathryn watched him vanish. The pull to join him was strong, but she fought it. Right now what she had to do here was more important. Going back into her own memories she thought about her father.

Tom sat upright with a gasp of breath and clutched hold of his bed sheets. He was looking straight at the Doctor who held a hypo-spray in his hand.

"I was with Kathryn, she is trapped, but working on a way out, but she says we are in danger, the Borg know where we are and are coming." Tom said getting up and quickly shaking off the sleep he had been consumed by.

"Then I guess we had better get to work." The Doctor said following Tom to the damaged power cables and secretly wondering if they could actually win this fight.

Realising that the more powerful the memory the more Kathryn could effect where she was. Thinking of her father had been a test, something to try before going for her real goal. Fear she knew was a great motivator, something that drove people to survive, improve and inspire. Or run hide and die. Kathryn did not want to be one of the latter. More than anything she wanted to save her way for life, preserve what is, so piece and happiness could prevail in a universe which seemed intent on destroying it. Now her mind turned to man kinds greatest enemy. A enemy with a single goal to eradicate them. Her anger built within her as she thought about all the Borg stood for. The suppression of individuality. The lack of emotions, of love, joy and happiness. A world with nothing, no meaning, no reason for being. Without opening her eyes she knew where she was. She could feel the harsh light all around her. Here the humm and click of machinery. Then the voice.

"I knew you would find away out, I had underestimated you in the past Admiral, but not this time." Janeway cracked one eye open and saw that she was indeed inside a metal cage. Her hands found the steal bars and she finally opened both eyes and faced the woman who now looked back at her. Cold and hard, dark and solid, much like all the metal, and machinery that surrounded her. Kathryn raised her head slowly, not wavering in her gaze until she took a slow and deliberate blink.

"You forget, I'm not really here." Kathryn spoke slowly and deliberately as she simply stepped through the barrier and joined the queen on the deck planting of a ship.

"You can't do that!" She shouted not knowing how to deal with this new development. The drones around them stopped and turned to the two women now facing each other.

"Yes I can, you see I have learnt that to be in control of ones mind, you first have to believe that you are not in fact in control at all. That everything happens for a reason. Then and only then can you decide how you want things to change." Kathryn said now noticing that she had an audience. By taking away the queens control, she had shifted that control to herself, now the question was what was she going to do with it.

"Being an individual lets me do this, you expect me to react like the drones under your control, but free will has a way of coming and biting you in the ass sometimes. You see true loyalty is when someone grants you that feely with no strings attached. Otherwise minds can be changed." Kathryn continued as she noticed the flyer on the screens behind the queen. A moment of panic swept though Kathryn before she took a deep breath.

"You took away their right to choose, but I want to give it to them back, not by force, but by showing them how much better life can be." Kathryn flicked through images in her mind of happy times. Some on Voyager, some before, and some of the present. The view screen was full of them, blocking out the sight of her ship and her friends aboard. Now she felt the drones shift, they were confused, disorientated. The queen had lost her hold on them long enough for old feelings to return.

"You wont win Admiral, they are still mine, I still control them!" The queen shouted finally coming to her senses and retaking control. The Borg suddenly sprang into action, moving as one to find and destroy the flyer. Kathryn moved forward, coming so close to the queen that she could smell the oil within her circuits.

"Don't bend the spoon, because the spoon isn't really there." Kathryn said with a small smile as she reached up and placed her hand straight through the queens torso. Moving through her like she was air. Again the drones stopped and waited, the queen stood motionless in her ship and simply looked at them.

"Kill her." Kathryn said as she stepped through the bulkhead and out into the space beyond.

The flyer was ready, and just in time from the looks of it. A Borg ship was bearing down on them, its weapons had not been activated yet however and no hail had come from the ship.

"Odd." the Doctor observed as the Borg ship held station only a few hundred kilometres from them.

"I have a feeling Kathryn has something to do with this." Tom said as the ship seemed to start powering up.

"Spoke to soon." Tom said quickly arming the flyers own weapons systems and getting ready for an all out war. Just as it seemed that they would need to start planning a battle strategy the Borg ship stopped once more.

"Ok what is going on!" The Doctor cried as Tom simply looked at him and shrugged his shoulders.

"I think I can help you with that." The voice that came from behind them almost made both men fall of their chairs. Tom was the first to his feet however as Kathryn gave him a slow smile.

"How?" The Doctor questioned as he looked from Kathryn, and back at the Borg ship.

"I'm not sure something about spoon bending was involved." Kathryn grinned as Tom immediately got the reference to the old movie. The Doctor still looked confused.

"That doesn't explain much." He finally said before folding his arms and staring at the pair as they looked back at him. More over his shoulder than at his face.

"I took control, for a moment at least, it was enough to get the Borg to think about what they had been, before they had been changed." Kathryn said and now the Doctor understood.

"Will they still be a threat?" He asked as the sensor alert went off as another Borg ship entered the area.

"Maybe, but at least we know how to destroy them now, hopefully without killing them." Kathryn said as she took hold of Tom's hand a clutched it tightly as the Borg ship came closer and stopped. Kathryn was not sure how far her idea's had spread, or if they would even be confined to the single ship she had inhabited. A few tense moments ticked passed, all inside the ship held their breath until the Borg cubes both turned and sped away. Not towards Earth, but back towards the Delta quadrant. The collective breath was let out all at once, for now the threat had been eliminated.

"What do you say we turn this tub around and go home." Kathryn said which earned her a glare from Tom who sat back at the helm.

"Tub, really that's the word you are going to use." He replied mock anger in his voice before setting a course for Earth.

"For now yeah, I mean you haven't exactly given her a name." Kathryn replied taking up residence in the navigation chair.

"Well I have been thinking on that. How about Voyager, I know she isn't the same, but the name does mean a lot to all of us." Tom suggested as he went to warp seven and sat back.

"I think that ship as truly sailed, if this experience has taught me anything, its that dwelling on the past gets you nowhere." Kathryn replied with a small shake of her head.

"Ok Doc what about you, what do you think would be a good name for her?" They both turned to their somewhat unusually silent companion as he placed his chin on his hand and thought.

"There can be only one name for this ship, the Alpha flyer, it saved our quadrant and it brought us back together. You can't ask any more of a ship than that." The Doctor said as silence fell inside the cabin.

"In ten years he still hasn't picked a name for himself, and in a single moment finds the perfect name for this ship." Kathryn said with a small laugh. Tom joined her quickly, after while the Doctor sat and allowed himself a secret smile.

"You know we are going to have to do a lot of explaining to Star fleet when we get back." Tom said now turning the conversation to more important matters. Kathryn to his surprise stood up and stretched. Taking Tom's hand she turned and looked at the Doctor.

"I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it, for now Doctor you have the bridge. I have a promise to keep." With that she pulled Tom back to the sleeping quarters and left the Doctor alone. Standing up he went to the helm and sat down, not really looking at the console, he simply stared out into space.

"Humm I have always like the name Steve."

THE END

Well there we have it, epic chapter, I hope the conclusion wasn't too disappointing. Thank you for reading XxX


End file.
